Welcome back everyone to our weekly tradition! Please take a seat, though not that seat that you are about to sit in that one is mine, and enjoy the discussion thread.
Matrix homeserver at genzedong.xyz. See this thread for information about our Matrix space.
Short reading list for new MLs here. To find theory, try z-lib, libgen, or Sci-Hub (for scientific articles). If an article is unavailable, try the Wayback Machine.
I’m currently having an extremely depressing day, for mostly unknown reasons. Usually, my friends and family tell me I’m the strongest and toughest person they know, a mountain by comparison. Yet, even I struggle with suicidal and depressive thoughts.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt myself or anything. It just sucks.
I was recently diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder, after I suspected myself of having it for the better part of 8 years now.
I’ve been doing a metric shit-ton better for myself over the past several years than I ever have before, but regardless, it still sucks sometimes.
I’m not asking for all the stock advice or wisdom or fortune cookie proverb stuff, I’ve heard and read it all before.
Sometimes I paradoxically like to feel sad and miserable, because it reminds me I’m still alive and I have skin in the future of this hellworld.
Even though I’m 25, sometimes I feel like I’m still 17, and I’m always told I’m extremely wise beyond my years and “an old soul”.
Being male and partially non-binary, and being diagnosed with BPD, is still extremely weird to me.
Going and have gone through similar myself.
Sometimes I paradoxically like to feel sad and miserable, because it reminds me I’m still alive and I have skin in the future of this hellworld.
💯 Personally, I like to blow stuff in my personal life up because chaos feels more natural and safe to me than stability and reliability. I have ruined many relationships this way. I have always existed in mental chaos. I can’t be content with the good - I just get bored, I guess - of people, situations, places. For now, it’s got me homeless.
I’m glad you’re getting diagnoses and help. I’m medicated bipolar II after years of thinking I had borderline, which I still arguably might - comorbidity etc. I mean personality disorders are diagnosed usually via list of displayed behaviors, and I absolutely display all of em. The medication… allows me to exist. With regards to personal relationships, though? I’m still the same chaotic asshole I’ve always been, except now the asshole in me springs entirely from my subconscious and I have absolutely nil awareness of when I’m acting up. Great.
Talk therapy is paramount, and I’m sure you’ve already looked into dialectical behavioral therapy - I use what I’ve learned from researching it myself to utilize it in my own life… to an extent. It would be far more effective with a professional to guide me along. I hope you find yourself with others to help guide you, comrade.
I’m doing well, but I’m going to find myself another therapist to make sure that I’m doing well.
I have ADHD, OCD, biplarority, and autism. What therapy should I seek out?
What is dialectical behavioral therapy?
The primary point of DBT is basically to learn to control one’s emotions without stifling them, for instance bottling up suicidal thoughts rather than talking to people about them and analyzing the true reasons one is feeling suicidal, rather than allowing that suicidal ideation to consume oneself.
Depression hits. Hard. Suddenly you start hating yourself. What the fuck?
There’s a reason. There’s always a reason. To deduce those reasons, though, we have to practice mindful thinking - easier said than done. “I am depressed and hating myself. Am I feeling guilt? Have I slept enough? Is said undersleep facilitating fatigue, which in turn is facilitating the overall depression?”
Let’s say in this specific instance the core issue is indeed lack of sleep. One must learn to understand that those emotions stem from a source, they do not come from nowhere. Those emotions are also a natural response to this stimulus, and one should not feel guilt for feeling this way. One should allow that emotion to occur and pass as others do rather than attempting to shut it out, and this one in particular should get some damn sleep.
The point is to pinpoint stimuli and accept the emotional repercussions as natural and surmountable rather than all-consuming and inherently negative.
I hope this made some semblance of sense. There are more in-depth explanations online. Another tactic is emotional inversion - a specific instance I use this tactic with is the sun. I’m a vampire and I hate the heat. With the proper thought process, you can learn to love it - the sweat, the weight of the air if it’s really humid, the beauty of the sun’s mere existence and the fact that it is the true wellspring for life on Earth - suddenly the heat isn’t so uncomfortable, it is human, it is animal, it is plant, it is life.
I didn’t even realise this was the name of what I have been practicing in general for a couple of years now - with some degree of success. That’s good to know.
Funnily enough I also experience something similar with temperature. When it’s hot and I sweat, hell, even when it’s cold and I sweat, it triggers a full body sensation because of my skin condition.
It’s unpleasant to say the least.
I’ve been slowly forcing myself into the heat and learning to tolerate it all.
At least now I can tolerate being outside for more than 10 minutes at a time, which is a success I guess.
Emotional inversion! That sounds useful and I’ve done it before.
Interesting. Do you take medication?
I do. It generally helps, but it’s not a cure-all.
I take Sertraline as a morning pill, Trazodone for sleeping pills, and very rarely I used to take Hydroxyzine for anxiety. But Hydroxyzine doesn’t work for me anymore.
Trazodone, eh? Is that over the counter?
Its prescription
Oh.
I accept you for who you are and don’t need to cheer you up or fix you to accept you.
Thank you, comrade.
Doing my third public speaking event on the energy crisis this month. It’s good to talk to the people and it’s good to see them get increasingly mad.
But the days are long, lol. Communism is fun, kids, but keep in mind you’ll be busy forever.
We were doing a quiz on upcoming government measures affacting people in energy poverty and I almost thought people were going to attack ME for even daring to say what’s coming lol. People getting mad as hell. Regular people as well. For others.
Could revolution actually be possible? Can I dare to dream?
Revolution is fantasy until it happens. At which point it becomes historical inevitability.
I think that, in all countries, revolution will happen both sooner and later than we think.
If my family was american im pretty sure my dad would be one of those old fucktards that kill people that ring their doorbells, what a fckn disgusting person.
My workplace has been pushing to recall all remote workers back on-site. I am one of them. Was hired during the pandemic and not a drivable distance from the facility and not able to move. Been looking for a new job for a few months. Still looking. Still waiting for the hammer to come down. They just forced a big group of remote workers from another department to either return or resign. Most “resigned” by being labelled as job abandonment so the company could get out of paying for any unemployment. The walls are closing in and I basically exist in a constant state of panic every day. Like, I’m not bad off. I have hosing and enough money saved that I’d be fine for at least a year if I HAD to. Much better off than most people but still it’s just terrifying. At an age where medical stuff might start being a thing and now I’m just counting the days till I’m unemployed and uninsured in this shithole of a capitalist hell we call a country.
I do hope things get better for you soon. It’s good to see you have the resources to survive for a while though.
Does anyone know what’s going on in Pakistan right now? I’ve seen some concerning headlines but I’m not knowledgeable on the situation there to fully grasp what’s happening.
the only thing I’ve heard is than Imran Khan was released on bail after being arrested on bullshit charges, and the protests seem to be continuing
Protests are still continuing ever since the coup against Imran Khan.
Russia apparently just hit Kiev with six Kinzhal missiles; the ukrops claim they were all shot down, despite a depleted air defense system and not even the mighty US possessing the tech to shoot down hypersonics. Another day in bullshit country?
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Comrade Kim telling it like it is.
Comrade Kim is the best Kim.
I hope you all have a nice week :D
I’m having a great week so far, though it’s still the first day.
And it is only gonna get better
Hell yeah!
Dont know what stage of copium this is. This is on r/jokes
Where the fk does 200,000 come from?
the 200,000 is the Ukrainian number of Russians they have killed, no one has been able to verify as far as I can tell
Where’s the joke buckley?
The joke is the redditor who posted this.
Everything is reported by Ukraine, so it’s not the most reliable number.
I just failed my analysis of algorithms exam.
It could be mistaken for a class on how to farm viewership on social media lol
You in university?
I’m working on a masters degree while also working full time.
How many more classes, I wonder? Are you almost done?
Maybe 7 or 8 more classes. I’ve only taken 1 or 2 a semester so I don’t overwhelm myself between work and school.
Good idea.
I ended up getting a B for the entire class. Could be worse.
Camus is the philosopher definition of first world problems.
I do not think I have read any of Camus,
It’s like pushing a rock up a hill only to have it roll back down when you get to the top, when you chase it back down to roll it back up only to have it roll back down…
Listen to this when you have the time.
Please like, subscribe, and leave a comment to help with the algorithm.
Judging by Western press coverage of the war, it’s possible that Zelensky is already using the Kremlin as a summer home.
Every week they report Russians surrendering, Russians dying, Russians ran out of fuel, Russians ran out of ammunition, Russians were cold without coats, they ran out of vodka in Russia…
I have no doubt that Zelensky is anywhere but Ukraine right now. The guy is terrified of going back.
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What a nice place. Where is this?
Karl Marx Peak in Pamir Mountains, in the south-west of Tajikistan’s Gorno-Badakhshan Autonomous Province .
Cool of Marx’ parents to name him after a mountain
Wait, is Z-Library on the Clearnet now? I can’t tell. I tried to access it on the Clearnet but it still had the same message about the FBI.
Try annas-archive. The feds haven’t taken that down yet.
Oh. But apparently, this link to Z Library is working. I guess it is on the Clearnet now.
But is annas-archive any good? Perhaps better?
Annas archive keeps links to a bunch of different mirrors in case one goes down, so it’s more resilient at least.
Yeah, and I was told that it has both links to Z Library and LibGen. Correct?
Yup.
