Please don’t kill yourself.

I’m so fucking sorry that you’re in the situation you’re in. I know you are in misery right now but you must hold onto the fact that there are going to be better days at some point. I don’t know when they’ll come, but they will. Please stay with us. You have people that love you even if you don’t know it, and we are all here for you.

Please, my friend, keep trying.

I’ll private message you.

Please don’t kill yourself

I don’t know the specifics of what you’re studying, but I’ve been in a similar situation to where you are right now. In the past I tried to kill myself after throwing everything away to try and fix my education and it all came to nothing. I had the good luck of having a family that cared enough to fight hard to keep me alive, from the sounds of things that’s a luxury you don’t have.

Going by my own experience I reckon this probably isn’t what you want to hear and I’m sure you’ll be sceptical of it considering where you are at the moment, but I promise you that this misery will eventually pass if you can just will yourself to live for long enough. Whether the pain runs off by tomorrow or far in the future is impossible to say, but it steadily wears down whether or not you try. I was utterly convinced I’d reached the end and nothing would ever change that, but now I’m here talking to you; trying to convince you that this conclusion is wrong. The one thing I can say for certain is that suicide isn’t an answer to your problems. The only way you can ever climb out of this hole you’re in right now is to carry on living and fight against it.

Do you have anyone you can count on at the moment at all? If so please reach out to them and let them support you. If not, you need to find other people that will help you. Until then you absolutely can’t let this overwhelm you.

Get a medical certificate and redo the exam later.

I’m so sorry comrade

Please don’t. We support you from here. I know it’s hard to find solutions or get out of misery when everything around you is so broken and corrupt. But don’t get discouraged yet. You are an educated comrade. You are not an ordinary person, you are a communist and many in your situation would give up, but you are not like them. Keep a cool head and hang in there. Your opportunity will come to disassociate yourself from everything that hurts you, in the meantime improvise and do everything possible not to send everything to hell. If you need help or advice, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m not in a nice situation either, but we will win this fight, sooner or later, and we will succeed. Hasta la victoria siempre, camarada. A hug from Spain, and remember: Trust in yourself. Don’t let your insecurities run your life. I know it is not easy, but we love you. You are not alone.

I’m sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. Please do not kill yourself. Things can and will get better. It’s hard to see how, sometimes, because we make plans and they fall apart, but things change. And I would miss you if you were not here. Please take care of yourself.

If it would at all be possible, I would highly recommended reaching out to an advising counselor at your university. It is very common for universities to offer remedial class support, you could be able to retake the exam after demonstrating to your professor you understand the material, and at the very least you may be able to retake the class and have your old grade stricken from your transcript and not have it drag you down.

An advising counselor might also be very helpful in helping you find monetary support through government, university, or local grants, support stipends, housing support, food assistance and many many more things that can help level the playing field for you. I speak from experience as I can attest that even in the poor, underdeveloped area that I live, programs such as those have saved my life. They will not turn you away if you ask for help, even if you think you might not deserve it or qualify, many will do their best to help you as best they can, and even a little can go a long way.

But most importantly, I need you to know that you can make it through this friend. We believe in you, and know that you can do this. I know I am simply words on a screen for you, but you still deserve to know that you are believed in, cheered on, and supported. Don’t throw away a good future due to the present. I can see that you want to succeed and better yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t care or ask for help, and that shows me you can pull through this. You can do this.

It sucks. But, other ordinary people have survived this. Other ordinary boring people have survived much worse. You can survive this too. Remember that uneducated dumbass farmers who couldn’t fucking read, overthrew the Tzar, and the Kuomintang, and the French, and the Yanks, and built mighty civilizations.

So you don’t have to be amazing, just be like a peasant, and do the things.

It’s bad. It’s going to get worse. but you can survive it. You ARE strong enough.

Please look into any resources your university has. I don’t know where you are located but from my experience most universities do provide some type of mental health support. If the dorms are covered by tuition it might be worth looking into, yes it’ll be more money but having you in a safer environment is ideal. I don’t know what year you’re currently in, but usually in the earlier years you can get away with taking less classes per term which can help lighten the load. If anything, talking to the university support people would definitely be beneficial.

You don’t see it now, and it’ll take some time for the realization to sink in, but you can get through this. You were strong enough to come here and speak so openly about your plight and that is a big step. You deserve the love and support everyone is showing you here, you are important and worthy of life. When your mind and body recover from this, please look into any mental health/academic supports from your university, you may not believe it but you do deserve the help and care they can provide.

If it makes you feel any better, I also always fuck up the exams I studied the most for as well.