I just came from failing at my exam. The one subject I studied the most, the one I sacrificed the other subjects for. I panicked and I wasn’t able to do simple math. Nothing ever works. I’m living in almost complete poverty, don’t even have money for toilet paper, eat basically rice every day, I can’t even wash my clothes. My mother has kind of told me to fuck off and I’m supposed to go and live with my drug addict of a father, I need to get a shitty job, I don’t know if I have the mental equilibrium to do both a job and university. I have nothing. I have no one. I need to kill myself and stop pretending I can go forward, it only ever gets worse.
Please look into any resources your university has. I don’t know where you are located but from my experience most universities do provide some type of mental health support. If the dorms are covered by tuition it might be worth looking into, yes it’ll be more money but having you in a safer environment is ideal. I don’t know what year you’re currently in, but usually in the earlier years you can get away with taking less classes per term which can help lighten the load. If anything, talking to the university support people would definitely be beneficial.
You don’t see it now, and it’ll take some time for the realization to sink in, but you can get through this. You were strong enough to come here and speak so openly about your plight and that is a big step. You deserve the love and support everyone is showing you here, you are important and worthy of life. When your mind and body recover from this, please look into any mental health/academic supports from your university, you may not believe it but you do deserve the help and care they can provide.