I just came from failing at my exam. The one subject I studied the most, the one I sacrificed the other subjects for. I panicked and I wasn’t able to do simple math. Nothing ever works. I’m living in almost complete poverty, don’t even have money for toilet paper, eat basically rice every day, I can’t even wash my clothes. My mother has kind of told me to fuck off and I’m supposed to go and live with my drug addict of a father, I need to get a shitty job, I don’t know if I have the mental equilibrium to do both a job and university. I have nothing. I have no one. I need to kill myself and stop pretending I can go forward, it only ever gets worse.
It sucks. But, other ordinary people have survived this. Other ordinary boring people have survived much worse. You can survive this too. Remember that uneducated dumbass farmers who couldn’t fucking read, overthrew the Tzar, and the Kuomintang, and the French, and the Yanks, and built mighty civilizations.
So you don’t have to be amazing, just be like a peasant, and do the things.
It’s bad. It’s going to get worse. but you can survive it. You ARE strong enough.