• KiG V2
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    261 year ago

    Destroyer of All That Is Good Vladimir (scary name!) Poutine Plans For Future Weaponization:

    spoiler

    -My Grandma (she watched a tennis match where a RUSSIAN won)

    -Cold Spaghetti (brings down the internal body temperature of Americans so they are less protected against his Level 8 Frost Lazer)

    -Powerthesaurus.com (makes young American writers insufferable sounding)

    -Baby Grand Pianos [oak only] (used to drop comically on beloved American heroes)

    -Cocomelon (turning Gen Alpha into goblinoids)

    -Your Grandma (she flirted with me on his behest and it made me mildly uncomfortable)

    -Talcum Powder (causes mesothelioma and bankrupts patriotic American companies fighting lawsuits)

    -Azov Battalion (created the PERFECT excuse for him to rapidly spike military spending)

    -9/11 (funny memes that ensued exposed the lack of patriotism in American youth and widened the boomer v zoomer divide)

    -The Black Death (arrived in Europe via Poutine Time Machine)

    -Bill Maher (unfunniness reduced American lifespans by an average of 6 years)

    -Fortnite (reducing American productivity that could be spent making Abrams tanks)

    -Abrams tanks (overfunding Abrams tanks causes domestic economic problems in America in an effort to destabilize and cause civil unrest)

    -Taco Bell (reduced quality of food over the last decade has been a severe hit to the morale of young Americans everywhere)

    -Liberal anti-Russian media (purposefully poor coverage of the Ukraine conflict has embittered Americans to their military industrial complex)

    -Ontomontopia (using instead of academic personalizations of words reduces general American IQ and leads Americans down the Old Macdonald Had a Farm --> Cocomelon --> 9/11 radicalization funnel)

    • @xenautika
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      61 year ago

      he gaveth the mexican pizza, and he taketh away

        • KiG V2
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          61 year ago

          I didn’t exactly have high expectations when I arrogantly mushed my smartphone to query Google Image Search on “putin destroying taco bell” but yet again my hubris has been rewarded and my bad behavior enabled by our Silicon Valley comrades

    • JucheBot1988
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      121 year ago

      Putin weaponized the weaponization of weaponization.

      • KiG V2
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        61 year ago

        Woah man…that’s deep…

        • JucheBot1988
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          41 year ago

          Yeah, and he also weaponized the weaponization of weaponization of weaponization. (Continue or don’t continue as you see fit).

  • Bungkarnoenjoyer
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    221 year ago

    Fuck it, Putin Weaponized Hentai and anime to make Westerners super degenerate and Useless

  • Capitalist Tears
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    201 year ago

    Of all of them, the “America’s racism” one is something that even the most propagandized westerner would have a hard time reading without a fit of laughter, at least I hope so.

    • @Shrike502
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      211 year ago

      You’d think so, but may I remind you about the hard media coverage of the supposed ties Le Pen has with Kremlin? Likewise with AfD. Genuine euro-racists are being presented as “Putin’s agents”. Then there was that Trump business. And can’t forget the claims that support for AfD was the hardest in former DDR regions, with obvious implications

    • @knfrmity
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      211 year ago

      Ironically enough there was loads of legit Soviet agitprop about America’s racism. It’s also likely one of the reasons why the American ruling class let civil rights happen.

  • @supersolid_snake
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    131 year ago

    He weaponized the global south into disliking their anglo masters. Now Africa is asking France to GTFO. That’s new, it’s not what they always wanted. /S