No friends or anything. No partner either. What do?
What you do is that you go on. It’s okay to feel shitty from time to time. It’s a bit of a cliche but life is out there waiting for you.
I used to be depressed, addicted and a criminal really. At my lowest points I wanted to stop living. Many times I contemplated suicide. If you’d tell my then that my life would get better, I wouldn’t believe you. I just didn’t see myself getting better in any situation. That’s how deep it was.
But things got better. I got out of an abusive relationship. I got out of a toxic environment. I was on my own for a while, discovering what I wanted out of life. I still don’t completely know, it changes from time to time. But I have found some passions that stayed with me (communism, music, art, nature for example).
But it took going out of my comfort zone for me to learn what I like and don;t like. Join an art club. Join a local game club. Go hiking on your own. Go to a bar on your own. Go to a festival. Read books. Watch shows, watch movies. Look if there’s people to date, even if it’s one date or a short fling. Make online friends. Adopt a pet. Work out. Take cooking classes. Do what YOU want. Do what YOU find interesting. Meeting people will follow.
Life never is a constant stream of happiness. Sometimes you will feel shit, sometimes you will feel really happy, sometimes you will feel bored or neutral. But there’s always things to do, things to learn, people to meet etc. And to be more selfish, we also need you in the revolution mate.
Very similar experience. Except I’m still a c****** 🤩🤩🤩
Could you afford to adopt a pet? Years of evolution next to domestic animals have a reason. The bond you come to share with them is life changing. When your duty becomes “I must take care of this creature for at least 10 years” you start to see one (1) reason to ride the time that comes.
From personal experience, and I’ve been mentally ill since I can remember, I would have killed myself without my dogs. I can’t explain how important they are to me.
Edit: I don’t mean to overstep but I will add that if things are really bad, medication can potentially help. They’re not a solution and you should be informed and decide about what you take. But I became stable thanks to my medication and I enjoy the results.
do you have a therapist? if it’s just clinical depression then there are ways to work things out. I’m not a therapist but I’m always happy to talk :)
Nah mate therapists don’t do shit in capitalist society.
They can help you learn how to deal with intense shifts of emotions and change coping mechanisms that put your body integrity and life at risk. I say this from personal experience.
But no, they don’t cure “mental illness”.
So I had a shit shift and this turned into a massive derailing rant. (It’s depressing as shit btw but I try to see it as motivation to change.)
TLDR You’re absolutely right, and deep down every HCW knows people are treated as disposable commodities to the state. The revolution can’t come soon enough.
They’re even aware of this. They call it “Shitty Life Syndrome”
You can do EVERYTHING within the restraints of your scope to lift a person up, help them through depression, even cure them in some lucky cases but the second they leave your care, they are once again at the mercy of a depraved system where all the therapeutic tools under the sun ain’t gonna help you out of state enforced poverty.
I’m not anti-therapy in general. I know I t can teach you tools to survive the unsurvivable. It’s helped me- or it did until my MH care plan’s subsidised 10 sessions were up.
Fact is though, the ones who need it most are the ones who can’t afford it and the criteria for successful treatment is your capacity to sell your labour for as long as possible with as little as possible.
Of course once they’ve drained you of that labour, you’re now useless to the system yay! So barring those lucky enough to have family who are rich in both time and money who are willing to care for you in old age, they stick you in aged care(lol, “care”).
Here, —speaking as an nurse working at a non-profit considered to be one of the “better ones” — you become a resident…sorry I mean “cUstomErr”🤮.
Since there’s only 1 nurse and 2 pcas rostered for a workload of 40 high care residents, you will receive a minuscule fraction of the care you need.
Can’t walk and you shit your pants? Well that sucks bc there 10 others who did the same It’ll be an hour at least before PCAs can get to you.
Oh and you’re not allowed to die on your own terms. The Judeo-Christian based legal system deprives workers of even that dignity- far more spiritually ethical for you to get fucking sepsis from a toe cut due to systemic neglect than it is to set a precedent for bodily autonomy. Can’t risk shrinking the available labour force by letting them know suicide is an option.
Unlike OP(sending you solidarity internet hugs my comrade) I have friends. Friends I never see and even when I manage to muster enough emotional & physical energy to catch up, it’s tarnished by the burnout.
To clarify, all this is in Australia. I can’t imagine the state of aged care in the US. I don’t want to.
We really have nothing to lose but the chains of poverty, abuse, human commodification and oppression.
I’ve had prob more bad experiences with therapists than good. Everyone wants to kill each other these days.
Hit the gym, read theory, hike, swim, talk to random people on the street, get interested in things and find local groups you can involve yourself in (not just political ones).
Come to think of it, I’ve pretty much lost contact with all of my old highschool friends, and i broke up with my partner about a year…maybe 2 ago…god time sucks. For the longest time, I just let myself be consumed in it all, but recently, I’ve made attempts to find places where I can fit in and it’s beautiful, really. I wouldn’t say I have a friend group yet, or any aim to find a new partner, but the journey of self discovery that all of this has put me on is very lovely.
If you’re someone with interests and skills, people will naturally flock to you. Don’t chase it, but at the same time, put yourself out there.
What can I learn? I exercise n shit. Tryna learn languages but hard to find time or motivation.
Learn in terms of what, exercise or theory? I think Jeff Nippard is a pretty good source for motivated beginner and intermediate lifters!
I recently bought Climate Solutions Beyond Capitalism by Tina Landis, Liberation School and Theory and Practice for Socialist Organizers edited by Nino Brown, Liberation School. Anything by Lenin. Marxism versus Liberalism was a pretty cool interview with Stalin. Origins of Family, Private Property and the State is a long, but rewarding listen (i lazily use the audiobook, haven’t finished though).
I wanna learn spanish, but i’ve been pretty lazy about it, too. What’re you trying to learn? I think even a few words/ sentences a day is better than nothing :)
Also, I think Gabor Mate has some pretty insightful interviews and books. That being said, i think it helps to recognize what you can do to improve your life, and what just sucks because of structural issues with the world.
German, japanese and spanish. Also trying to learn html just for the sake of it.
Learn as in improve oneself. I’ve always been interested in learning but hard to spare resources be it money, time, motivation.
That’s pretty cool! Maybe try focusing on one at a time would be a bit easier? Learning a language past the age of being a kid can be a pretty hard feat to accomplish, so trying to pick up multiple might be a bit hard perhaps. That’s a cool skill to have! I remember I had an assignment for a math class where I had to create a dinky JavaScript game.
Money and time are especially hard ones. I think you can at least start with basic stuff, eating good, getting proper sleep, cleaning around the space you have, etc. It’s certainly can be so heavy at times, but all worth it.
Just here to say that both of those PSL books are excellent resources. I just finished Theory and Practice for Socialist Organizers last week and it gave me a much more comprehensive understanding or Marxist inquiry and presentation, which has been suuuper helpful in my reading of Capital. I highly recommend PSL literature in general.
My limited advice to OP: if you have any organizations nearby, maybe go to some meetings or rallies? You don’t have to do so with the explicit purpose of wanting to be an organizer (I know it’s not possible for everyone), just go to interact with others. I was pretty alienated from everyone for a while (ever since 2020 really) and I started going to DSA organized mutual aid, rallies, psl meetups, etc. and it really helped to build back my social skills and overall has helped my mental well-being.
Same here, more or less. Strangely enough, although becoming a Marxist alienated me from some people, knowing that global socialism is becoming stronger has given me more hope. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have much actual advice to give
spoiler
Humans are social creatures and you probably need and want socialization (if you didn’t why make this post). Not getting a proper amount of socialization is VERY damaging in the long term for people’s health across the board. Honestly the only difference between my life being utter hell and my life being pretty cool is I have is my girlfriend, my best friend and my mom.
Unfortunately–assuming you live in the West or somewhere similar?–it is particularly hard to make friends in this day and age. People are more transient than ever, places and jobs and groups come and go and relationships are seen as disposable commodities more than ever. People are incredibly isolated and it is very hard to “break through” a lot of times.
However, hope is not lost. A lot of advice people are giving here is very good. It sounds cheesy but forcing yourself to do something in public and just slowly acclimating yourself back in a semi-social environment is key. Don’t expect big wins immediately. Growing friendships can take time and a lot of trial and error. I know I have felt the sting of rejection more than a few times. But you know what? I kept trying, and through a combination of improving my social skills, building general connections, breaking away from the feedback loop of isolated–>depressed–>unable to function socially–>isolated–>repeat, and simply trying over and over again until I got lucky, and suddenly I struck gold.
First, always know that you are not “living in vain.” I would bet money I barely have that you are worthwhile despite having no friends or a partner; do not define yourself with your relationships, and do try and strive to, again as cheesy as it sounds, love yourself and appreciate your worth. But again, you do need some social stimulation. It might take a lot of work, a lot of pulling yourself back up after getting knocked on your ass the 10th, 20th, 50th time, you might have run-ins with bad friendships or relationships, but put in the work over time and you will wake up one day pleasantly surprised how your life is better than you would have guessed it ever being.
I wish you best of luck, comrade. Do not succumb to despair, do not let the fog of depression or isolation paralyze you. Like a garden, if you put in a little bit of work here and there and keep pushing on past the little disasters, you will one day have the flowers and fruits you need, I promise.
Bask ln the joy of not having to deal with other peoples’ drama all day. Think of yourself as a modern day Henry David Thoreau being in society but gladly choosing not to participate. Most people who occupy a person’s life are just clutter.
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Romantic relationships can be stressful but they can be one of the most rewarding things ever if you are lucky. Probably depends on the type of person though.
bro get a hobby, like art or reading or crafts
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I am too. I try to work with comrades on projects too. I used do minecraft mods… And I’ve been working on a game I’m calling Voxim for a long time.
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I don’t really deal with people’s drama even when I had friends. Having friends is fun and sometimes that’s all there is. If there is more intimacy I class it differently than “friend”
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That’s no life. Not a good outlook for a communist either.
