EDIT: Two responses from admins who dishonestly reframed the events of my ban and apparently refuse to explain it. Apparently “long time users” get different treatment.

EDIT2: The reason was finally given that “Have you stopped beating your wife?” in response to someone trying to put words in your mouth and ask loaded questions is a banworthy set of words. Incredible I know.


I would like explanation for the thinking that led to me being recently banned and branded a racist.

I was randomly attacked by a bad faith troll who later let slip that she was bearing a grudge based on some other encounter from 8 months ago. The attack consisted of an attempt to paint me as a racist for this simple and honest reading error.

I am a principled Marxist Leninist, active in real life and any reading of my contributions will support this and refute this slur on my character.

I can, at most, stretch to forgiving the ridiculous idea that I was the one being “toxic” here, and not simply holding up a mirror to the toxicity of the troll who attacked me for an innocent mistake, fantasised about me doing hypothetical racist things, asked me loaded questions and tried to put words in my mouth to fool credulous onlookers.

What I cannot ever accept is the allegation that I somehow engaged in “racism” anywhere in this interchange or in any of my other comments in the years I’ve participated on here. I deserve an explanation as to what you think you saw as racist in any of my comments.

I expect a complete apology, a clearing of my name and censure against my attacker and abuser. Those involved shamed themselves with their actions. You have an opportunity to make amends and undo that injustice you’ve inflicted.

I run a large ML forum with weekly views of tens of thousands and I recognise exactly the temptations you’ve allowed yourselves to succumb to of abusing your power for a false sense of righteousness based on petty bullying and unfair treatment. I know that I’m not the only one who’s been a victim of this on lemmygrad.

The contributors to this forum deserve better moderation and better judgement from the admins in general. The current process of banning people without right of reply is abusive and dishonourable. That can be a separate discussion.

  • diegeticalt (any)
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    After looking through the modlog under your name, I’m frankly a little disappointed you haven’t been permabanned.

    I expect a complete apology, a clearing of my name and censure against my attacker and abuser. Those involved shamed themselves with their actions.

    This is an absurd delusion of grandeur.

    I run a large ML forum with weekly views of tens of thousands and I recognise exactly the temptations you’ve allowed yourselves to succumb to of abusing your power for a false sense of righteousness based on petty bullying and unfair treatment.

    Being the mod of r/EuropeanSocialists is something to be ashamed of, not brag about.

    Eta: small edit to make it clear I meant the reactionary reddit sub

    • mathemachristian [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      This person is looking to humiliate and shame others. The only contribution I would expect is to an atmosphere of toxicity. I am disappointed they are given the space to puff themselves up as well.

    • Munrock ☭
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      Yeah the ‘I expect a complete apology…’ has the same texture as ‘Five demands not one less’ from HK 2019.

      It’s making demands of the authority figures of a community that are designed to undermine them whether they accede or not.

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      This is not a contribution to this thread. I am not a mod of EuropeanSocialists. You are making up lies.

      • diegeticalt (any)
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        I’m being hyperbolic.

        I am contributing, you just don’t like it, because you’re megalomaniacal.

  • amemorablename
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    EDIT: Two responses from admins who dishonestly reframed the events of my ban and apparently refuse to explain it. Apparently “long time users” get different treatment.

    As far as I can tell, you and the other person in question have accounts of about the same age, with yours actually being a bit older.

    I was randomly attacked by a bad faith troll who later let slip that she was bearing a grudge based on some other encounter from 8 months ago.

    If you are talking about this:

    …oh hey, weren’t you the same person who had a problem with people liking anime stuff - to the point you called them “predditors” for it and even scared away a trans person from the Touhou community while I was away?

    The way the post is written, it is not clear whether she was aware of who you were until that moment and this part would imply that at worst, she was aware and was trying to give the benefit of the doubt and not fight at first:

    Bold of you to think that I was trying to “pULL a GoTcHa” when it was a genuine fucking question from my end.

    But something about your comment:

    akhon dekhaite porbe stronger it’s mot…

    Set her off. Why, I don’t know. This appears to be where the exchange breaks down and you decided that she was someone who was trying to misrepresent and slander you on purpose, and so you should respond in kind. You could have as easily said, “I misread and thought X was Y.” Personally, I still don’t understand what the “reading error” even was because you don’t seem to have said that.

    they were just operating under a long simmering grudge about their ephebophilia hobby being criticised, months ago.

    (In another post in this thread) you take a dig at her even in the process of trying to say it’s her who is holding a grudge? And please don’t say I’m trying to cherrypick, I’m reading to see if you explain the reading error and this is the sort of thing I find.

    permanently damn yourselves as a group of thugs without integrity or honour

    And this to an admin.

    Was it comradely to leave a comment up telling me to “eat soft shit”? Do you endorse that treatment of comrades?

    Is it comradely to make sweeping proclamations that condemn others as trolls, abusers, and/or thugs over your personal reputation in one exchange on the internet? I’m sure it sucks to feel painted as the sort of person you despise if you only meant well, but I’m trying to put this in perspective. This isn’t a committee for the afterlife banishing you from eternal paradise, it was a temp ban on an internet forum. This could have been a thread where you explain what the misunderstanding was derived from and that you want the record to be clear as to why you were never intending to come across how you did; or a thread where you politely ask for clarification as to what the misunderstanding was, if it is not clear to you. Instead, you have been very confident in a strong “you message” that others are mistreating you and actively intend to do so, with mind-reading and a singular shaky interpretation of their words and actions as the primary evidence behind your claims.

    I know enough about how internet exchanges can go to know that it’s possible for you to be in the right here, while still going about it completely the wrong way, in a way that makes matters overall worse. I’ve had to learn that lesson before, in other online places. I’m doubtful this person or anyone else in this thread is the bad faith attacker you think they are and not just part of a misunderstanding with things getting heated, but either way, your approach to this says a lot that is demanding and accusatory with little to back it up in substance. If that is your way of resolving the feeling of being targeted by targeting others in kind, recognize that it’s what you’re doing and learn to put it aside for those you want to be comrades with. If anyone deserves a chance to resolve a misunderstanding, it is them. It’s not always fair. Sometimes you have to be the more patient one and do what you can to deescalate. Find someone you love and get a hug, then give this another look; I mean that literally, or figuratively if there are other things that help you more. Make sure you feel safe and loved. I mean nothing demeaning by this either. The point is to ground yourself, to ensure you can approach this from a position of clarity and readiness to handle the conflict without escalating unnecessarily. Take care.

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      As far as I can tell, you and the other person in question have accounts of about the same age, with yours actually being a bit older.

      Which makes it strange for the admin to raise account ages as a factor doesn’t it? Why would it matter what age the account was? People should be treated with respect and given thebenefit of the doubt regardless of their time here.

      If you are talking about this: The way the post is written, it is not clear whether she was aware of who you were until that moment and this part would imply that at worst, she was aware and was trying to give the benefit of the doubt and not fight at first:

      Yes, this is the real root of the entire issue. I’ll make that clear in another response. Stick around and see what happens. Maybe update your opinion. But at no point was any benefit of doubt given to me by her.

      Set her off. Why, I don’t know.

      Because the classic “genuinely curious” redditism is always a lie, every time. There was no “genuine fucking question” as she put it. It was all a set up to throw a tantrum instead of simply correcting the mistake.

      You could have as easily said, “I misread and thought X was Y.”

      At that point I was already attacked and she was dreaming up scenarios, putting words in my mouth and asking loaded questions. Yes you’re right, this is exactly where it was escalated.

      (In another post in this thread) you take a dig at her even in the process of trying to say it’s her who is holding a grudge?

      Yes. I don’t see the issue with this. It’s the only theory that makes her tantrum make sense, and as you’ll see shortly, she’s very sensitive about her kiddie porn for a very good reason.

      And this to an admin.

      That admin was repeatedly dishonest, insulting and was threatening to deny my right of reply in a comm created for this purpose. It’s just bullying and denying a simple process would be a lowlife thing to do.

      Is it comradely to make sweeping proclamations that condemn others as trolls, abusers, and/or thugs over your personal reputation in one exchange on the internet?

      No, I do not consider this person to be a comrade of mine, and you shouldn’t either. This is just a “No u r” response to my valid question.

      This isn’t a committee for the afterlife banishing you from eternal paradise, it was a temp ban on an internet forum.

      This is an effective perma ban. How do you think I could possibly continue on here having been baselessly labelled as a racist with a target on my back for vindictive and emotional admins?

      Instead, you have been very confident in a strong “you message” that others are mistreating you and actively intend to do so, with mind-reading and a singular shaky interpretation of their words and actions as the primary evidence behind your claims.

      I am self assured in my righteousness because I am me, I know I am not racist, I know I was not toxic and I know I was attacked. These are things I can’t not know. You’re damn right I’m indignant.

      It’s not always fair. Sometimes you have to be the more patient one and do what you can to deescalate.

      I had plenty of time to think about this and decide on this approach. Give the admins an opportunity to explain themselves and they failed this simple matter, being completely dishonest throughout.

      I mean nothing demeaning by this either. The point is to ground yourself, to ensure you can approach this from a position of clarity and readiness to handle the conflict without escalating unnecessarily. Take care.

      I honestly appreciate the thoughtful way you’ve approached this. As I said above, I calmly and rationally decided that this was my only recourse. Give the admins a chance, they embarrassed themselves. Two tried to misrepresent the order of events, always erasing the abusive and toxic way I was responded to, the third has indulged in a new fantasy about me being ableist about dyslexia to add to me being called racist and transphobic. These conceited idpol attacks are so incredibly immature and the first refuge of a scoundrel.

      • amemorablename
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        Which makes it strange for the admin to raise account ages as a factor doesn’t it? Why would it matter what age the account was? People should be treated with respect and given thebenefit of the doubt regardless of their time here.

        I cannot find anything regarding them raising it as a factor, especially not in a way that would imply you were treated unfairly for it. You seem to be the only one bringing age account up in this thread. I don’t know why you don’t simply quote the evidence of stuff if it’s so important to what you’re saying, unless you don’t actually have any.

        Because the classic “genuinely curious” redditism is always a lie, every time. There was no “genuine fucking question” as she put it. It was all a set up to throw a tantrum instead of simply correcting the mistake.

        Again, this is mind-reading, not evidence of anything.

        Yes. I don’t see the issue with this. It’s the only theory that makes her tantrum make sense, and as you’ll see shortly, she’s very sensitive about her kiddie porn for a very good reason.

        And you continue to make insulting insinuations about her, even as you try to say you’re the one who is being bullied.

        That admin was repeatedly dishonest, insulting and was threatening to deny my right of reply in a comm created for this purpose. It’s just bullying and denying a simple process would be a lowlife thing to do.

        I read nothing bullying. Only disagreement with you. If you consider someone not agreeing with you to be bullying, then it’s no wonder you are having the out of proportion response to this that you are having.

        No, I do not consider this person to be a comrade of mine, and you shouldn’t either. This is just a “No u r” response to my valid question.

        Then don’t try to gotcha an admin by asking if it’s “comradely” behavior when talking about how another user acts.

        This is an effective perma ban. How do you think I could possibly continue on here having been baselessly labelled as a racist with a target on my back for vindictive and emotional admins?

        That’s how you feel about it, not the reality of the situation. Tbh, I had forgotten it even happened until you made this thread and if you were truly concerned people would remember and hold it against you, you could have simply made a thread clarifying your side of the story, as I already stated. Instead, you have chosen to make it about attacking others.

        I am self assured in my righteousness because I am me, I know I am not racist, I know I was not toxic and I know I was attacked. These are things I can’t not know. You’re damn right I’m indignant.

        Incorrect. You can know you don’t intend to be racist, first of all, but you don’t define whether your behavior is. That’s only something that people among groups subjected to racism can fully judge properly. Else white people would just be able to say “I’m not racist” and they’d get a pass, even as they do obviously racist things. And to the other points, even more so, “I was not toxic” is your personal judgment on the matter.

        I had plenty of time to think about this and decide on this approach. Give the admins an opportunity to explain themselves and they failed this simple matter, being completely dishonest throughout.

        I cannot see how this is what you did. From where I’m standing, you came in guns blazing, accusing people of things and throwing around words like abuser and thug.

        I honestly appreciate the thoughtful way you’ve approached this. As I said above, I calmly and rationally decided that this was my only recourse. Give the admins a chance, they embarrassed themselves. Two tried to misrepresent the order of events, always erasing the abusive and toxic way I was responded to, the third has indulged in a new fantasy about me being ableist about dyslexia to add to me being called racist and transphobic. These conceited idpol attacks are so incredibly immature and the first refuge of a scoundrel.

        Yeah I mean, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and you are using it to trash talk others more, while refusing to budge an inch. I see nothing embarrassing from the admin posts of the sort. I see them taking time they did not have to take, to walk through what happened, and explain their reasoning. That you call any of this “idpol attacks” only gives me reason to think that the original accusation of racism was touching on something real. I should have made that connection earlier, tbh. Sometimes the people most sensitive to being accused of racism are sensitive to it is precisely because they haven’t unlearned their racist inclinations (sometimes ones they are unconscious of). I imagine this is the part where you’ll decide I’m a bully/thug/scum/scoundrel as well now too, since my judgment is not in favor of your actions.

      • CriticalResist8A
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        That admin was repeatedly dishonest, insulting and was threatening to deny my right of reply in a comm created for this purpose. It’s just bullying and denying a simple process would be a lowlife thing to do.

        Excuse me? do you want me to remove the A in my name so we can settle this real quick?

        I gave you a proper factual response, at no point was I being disrespectful. You’re the one that kept insisting you did nothing wrong and wanted a full apology, and started calling us bullies and other names with every reply we made to you. You disagree with the way we see the situation that transpired and that’s your prerogative, but don’t start dragging people into this because you feel wronged.

        I never threatened you with anything. I said if we had wanted to prevent you from raising up a point, we would have banned you permanently and deleted your posts. Since we didn’t do any of this, then we were not trying to “bully you” or “banning [you] without right of reply” like you proclaimed in the OP. What do you not understand about this conditional? I will gladly explain it differently if you want me to.

        Do you sincerely feel threatened when you’re still commenting in this thread? Be for real and stop trying to play victim of the mean power-abusing admins. Everyone tries it after they get banned and nobody buys it. You received a 15-day ban and it expired 11 days before you made this thread.

        I wasn’t emotional at any point, and I don’t get where you saw that. I explained neutrally time and time again what the events of your ban were and what the rationale was behind it. You’re the only one that disagreed with our version of events and kept demanding an apology and other concessions from us after your appeal was denied.

        It’s exactly because I’m an admin that I stayed factual and rational throughout the exchange. There’s a power imbalance between you and me because of this status difference and we are mindful of that, but don’t expect me to remain casual beyond this point when you’re calling me a lowlife without even being brave enough to say it to my face. It’s up to you.

        • LarkinDeParkOP
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          I gave you a proper factual response, at no point was I being disrespectful.

          Here’s your first lie:

          She called you out for the misspelling that wasn’t one, and you reacted by asking “will you also stop beating your wife?”

          Complete bullshit lie and any honest reading can see that. Completely erasing her abusive response to me.

          Second lie:

          can you agree that it may have been a factor in the user’s response?

          A re-ordering of events, where the user’s loaded question raging response is painted as being in response to my calling out of the loaded questions.

          Then after I call this out you tried to weasel out of it by saying:

          By call-out I mean her first reply in its entirety.

          Pathetic. Then you have the gall to try to accuse me of what you were doing:

          You’re trying to defend it and recontextualize it

          I was giving the only truthful sequence of events. As soon as you were caught out you pretend you were referring to the entire conversation, as if that makes any sense.

          And then to top it off, you ignore my corrections and claim everything else is off topic:

          That’s where the discussion begins, everything else is out of topic.

          Now that the A is off. You sir, are a liar. You tried to paint me as the instigator instead of responding to an attack.

          at no point was I being disrespectful

          Making up a lie about what happened, getting caught out and then just dismissing everything is not disrespectful?

          Next you refuse to answer my three questions because I’m "asking tons of questions."

          Third lie:

          You asked someone if they “will stop beating their wife?” unprompted

          Ukraine levels of lies.

          Fourth lie:

          and replied with “will you also stop beating your wife?” *implying that they beat their wife. *

          That is not what the phrase implies and you know it. Liar.

          I never threatened you with anything:

          “If we wanted to give you different treatment we’d delete this post and ban your account permanently like we do for the many liberals that wander on lemmygrad.”

          You’re very fond of this line aren’t you? This is you again with the same line to someone else:

          Nobody likes getting banned, neither do I, but if we wanted to silence someone we’d give them a permaban and refuse all their new account requests.

          …as you silenced someone and gave them the same Smircula responses. It’s basically, “You’re lucky that’s all we did to you!”.

          Does this kind of thing make you feel like a big man?

          then we were not trying to “bully you” or “banning [you] without right of reply” like you proclaimed in the OP.

          You both bullied me and banned me for 18 days without right of reply. You silenced that other user. The fact that you didn’t do it permanently doesn’t change this fact.

          Do you sincerely feel threatened when you’re still commenting in this thread?

          You started out looking for an excuse to deny me a right to reply:

          As you know that’s a sitewide rule so before any discussion can take place we have to look into that.

          … so I already felt like I was about to be arbitrarily silenced at any moment. That is a threatening feeling.

          Everyone tries it after they get banned and nobody buys it.

          Sounds like you’re experienced in this and enjoy your work in banning users and lording your power over them.

          I explained neutrally time and time again what the events of your ban were

          And as I demonstrated in this thread, you lied every time and evaded when caught. That’s not neutrality.

          I stayed factual and rational throughout the exchange

          You absolutely did not. See above.

          Fifth lie, a new one now.

          don’t expect me to remain casual beyond this point when you’re calling me a lowlife

          I did not call you a lowlife. My direct quote:

          “It’s just bullying and denying a simple process would be a lowlife thing to do.”

          Not much fun being called names is it? Not that you even were. Now imagine you were banned for weeks directly after. Try to have some empathy. Do you think I’m doing this for fun? None of this is enjoyable for anyone but I always stand up to bullying and unjust treatment. Hopefully you’ll think twice before your hair trigger ban goes off again and I save someone else from this. Hopefully you as a group of admins take some lessons.

          You’re really bad at this. You showed yourself up badly and you’re digging further. You should stop representing the admins here. You act as a group and you’re embarrassing them.

          Now put the A back on and go and do some useful Admin work like taking care of your child porn problem with my abuser fantasising about raping underage kids as I pointed out elsewhere. Eager to see what happens there, I’ll check back tomorrow. You see I have actual evidence of that unlike you ever had for any of my accusations.

          Has this all been worth it? The problem with being a bully is that eventually you pick on the wrong target.

          You have no power over me anymore. If this is my last comment then fine. Nobody else is going to call you out because they fear you and see the repercussions and how extreme and immature admin is here. So you can continue to pretend everyone is on your side here and just forget about it if you like.

          • CriticalResist8A
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            Oh so the A is off? But you also decide when it comes back on? Bro I didn’t even get started.

            But sure. Let’s start with this:

            I did not call you a lowlife. My direct quote:

            “It’s just bullying and denying a simple process would be a lowlife thing to do.”

            So you understand conditionals just fine when you’re the one doing them. Glad we cleared that up.

            Let’s talk face-to-face now then. I think you’re being a petulant child and I think if this were anywhere else you’d already have been banned and done. And I think we should do that too at this point. You got banned for 15 days, nobody likes it, but it happens. You’re the one who brought it back up, everyone else on the site had already moved on. You could have also contacted us privately.

            “Bu-but… you would have banned me and silenced me if I had contacted you in private!” I’m sure you will say. You keep bringing up this point but nobody’s buying it because we don’t shut people up for posting and appealing their ban. And the fact that you were able to find a similar line in another thread is proof that we don’t silence people but let them hash things out instead.

            You wanted to stir up trouble to go out with a bang as so many others have tried before you, and when you saw that it didn’t go in your favor, you started throwing insults around and picking fights hoping something would stick. Bro, everyone’s looking at you with embarrassment right now just wishing you’d shut up and let this go. Nobody agrees with you and trying to imply that another user in that thread somehow “felt pressured” to delete their comment when you sincerely have no idea is just embarrassing for you. Nobody’s being fooled by your antics, we’re just looking at you with concern. You said you were going to delete your account but are still replying here, because at this point for you it’s not about establishing the facts, it’s about destroying this community as much as you can so you can hopefully leave your mark.

            You’re not the first to try this. You’re not doing anything new or clever and you should stop before you embarrass yourself further.

            You’re just making a scene and it’s getting old. You’re trying to get a rise out of people and the only reason I’m feeding your victim complex is because you decided to attack me directly, and I don’t let myself get pushed over by salty punks. You’re still unable to see past my admin status, however, as evidenced by your comment here. This isn’t me talking to you as an admin, this is me talking to you person to person.

            You’re tiresome. You’re throwing a tantrum and I want to put you in the closet for a few hours so we can get some peace and quiet. You’re conflating so many different things that you just appear to be rambling and nobody can follow your point along. No admin banned you for ableism like you implied in one of your last comments; your ban reason was for toxicity and this is in the modlog. Only two admins participated in this conversation, the word ableism was raised by a user who’s not an admin, but you claimed “a third [admin]” stepped in.

            Why are you even still doing this? Clearly you’re over this community, so just log off, no?

            “Oh I’m so oppressed boohoo look everyone the admins are oppressing me by ummm not banning me before that incident and not deleting my comments” this is just getting concerning dude, let it go.

            Okay, so “will you also stop beating your wife” is a very common edgy reddit response. Cool. Does that make it okay to say? Are we allowed to say the r-word because 100 years ago it was a common medical term, or can you accept that as the such theoretically advanced and superior 10,000-views-reddit-moderating-marxist-leninist that you are that you were out of line and should have picked your words more carefully and that this temporary ban was essentially telling you to do just that.

            You overreacted to someone who was perhaps not the nicest but whose comment did not warrant admin action under our rules, and you’re salty about that as if that’s our collective problem. Take some responsibility for your actions and grow up, stop expecting the entire userbase of this website is going to wipe your ass every time you make a mistake. I’ve told you several times now exactly what bans you got from whom and where they applied and you still don’t understand, not because you can’t follow a sequence of events but because you don’t care. It’s not about who issues what ban, it’s about trying to take as many people down as you can with your sinking ship.

            And surely as the great marxist-leninist that you are, only next to Lenin himself while us lowlives are only fit to wipe the floor behind your every step you knew already that we don’t delete people’s comments without good reason precisely because we’re not here to clean up their mistakes and they need to take responsibility for what they say, both the good and bad.

            You talk about your “harasser” but they didn’t even show up in this thread. I don’t intend to speak for others but I can assure you with 100% certainty there’s a good amount of people who came upon this thread without knowing you were ever banned and coming out of it thinking “wtf is larkin on about.”

            Like come on this is getting comical. I give you the slightest pushback and you come back with an entire essay trying to paint me as a power-tripping mod because you didn’t get your way. Look at the modlog. We’re one of the more hands-off instances in terms of bans, comments deleted, and posts deleted.

            And you know the best part about this? You’re still not getting banned, not from me at least. Because we have an internal policy that if an admin is implicated in a confrontation that could lead to a ban, that they don’t issue a potential ban themselves. I’m bolding the word potential here because apparently you have some issues understanding other people’s examples. You’re still free to use this website, you’re still free to post comments on this topic or wherever else, and you’re still free to say whatever bullshit you think will salvage your reputation after you destroyed it entirely by yourself until someone else decides they had enough of your headaches and bans you permanently. 2 years down the drain because you couldn’t just say “I don’t understand why I was being called toxic, when in my opinion the other user was being just as toxic as I was” and somehow you still think it’s our job to wait on hand and foot for your outbursts when you undid everything by yourself. And so, I refuse to be dragged down with your sinking ship. It’s your mess, you fix it.

            taking care of your child porn problem with my abuser fantasising about raping underage kids as I pointed out elsewhere

            Make a fucking report and stop being a petulant child. As the moderator of your super cool subreddit that gets thousands of views I, well, I don’t even understand why you’re here in the first place when you’re apparently such a good mod over there, but surely you understand that people need to report content so that the mods can see it because they don’t have eyes everywhere, or do you have trouble with this example too?

            • porcupine
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              there’s a good amount of people who came upon this thread without knowing you were ever banned and coming out of it thinking “wtf is larkin on about.”

              that was my experience, and when I explained it, this person immediately went into a megalomaniacal rant about how I’d revealed myself to be part of the conspiracy. you have a truly admirable amount of patience, and I’m sorry you have to deal with people like this.

              • ghost_of_faso2
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                1 month ago

                At a certain point good faith runs out and I have to achknowledge that Larkin is simply just doing ‘DARVO’, deflecting all criticism and making himself look like a victim.

                • DamarcusArt
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                  Thankfully they are really bad at it. There is an astonishing refusal to self-reflect, let alone self-crit. They already have all the answers and anyone who disagrees with their conclusion is just part of the conspiracy against them. Not to mention the massive hypocrisy, where they accuse everyone else of lying about them and yet put words in the mouths of others constantly.

                  All this anger over…a pretty minor ban honestly. Like even if we take what they are saying as 100% true and the mods are just power tripping, then they can just take their lumps and come back, or leave entirely. It’s not a big deal to be banned from an internet forum for a whopping two weeks.

              • CriticalResist8A
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                I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouths but that was my impression, that even people who came across looking at both sides equally (as we did too in the adminship, we re-evaluated the case and came to the same conclusion we did back then) and tried to explain this to him agreed that his comments were out of line. This is not a judgment of values and I tried to get this across to him, I’m using the most neutral words I can to describe the sequence of events as faithfully as possible, but he doesn’t want to get it 😵‍💫

              • redtea
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                And mine. I didn’t know about the ban or the thread that caused it but I was curious. I tried to work out what happened and explained the problem in the original interaction.

                Now I’m an immature scoundrel. Or might be. Or would be. I lost track of what was conditional on me impersonating a mod or an admin or both.

            • LarkinDeParkOP
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              1 month ago

              Hey, when I delete my account, will my comments disappear? Just want to know if I need to hang around any longer than I need to.

            • LarkinDeParkOP
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              You got banned for 15 days, nobody likes it, but it happens.

              You don’t even have an explanation for why you do this. It’s just so you can wield power over people. It doesn’t achieve anything else. It gives you pleasure. Do you think I “cooled off”?

              You’re the one who brought it back up, everyone else on the site had already moved on. You could have also contacted us privately.

              How? I was banned from the site for using a common expression remember? In response to an attack. You already admitted this. How could I have contacted you privately? Why would I? So you could ignore it and nobody else would see your abusive behaviour?

              we don’t shut people up for posting and appealing their ban. And the fact that you were able to find a similar line in another thread is proof that we don’t silence people but let them hash things out instead.

              There is no appeal? There’s only this kind of thing? You silence people whether it’s permanent or not. This is just mincing words.

              You wanted to stir up trouble to go out with a bang as so many others have tried before you…

              You’re not the first to try this. You’re not doing anything new or clever and you should stop before you embarrass yourself further.

              This all sounds like a you problem. If you keep seeing these assholes everywhere…

              You’re just making a scene and it’s getting old.

              It was old yesterday.

              Why are you even still doing this? Clearly you’re over this community, so just log off, no?

              I told you yesterday, I wanted to give you the right to reply.

              Okay, so “will you also stop beating your wife” is a very common edgy reddit response. Cool. Does that make it okay to say?

              In the context of someone asking loaded questions it’s always fair to say. There’s more to online fora than reddit you know?

              Are we allowed to say the r-word because 100 years ago it was a common medical term,

              Jesus.

              should have picked your words more carefully

              I can’t believe you’re doubling down on this. It’s the most pathetic excuse for a ban I’ve seen in a long time.

              You overreacted to someone who was perhaps not the nicest

              Hallelujah! Finally we got there! The first acknowledgement from anyone that I wasn’t alone in the exchange.

              Skipping the paragraphs of ranting.

              Make a fucking report and stop being a petulant child.

              I fucking KNEW this is what you’d come back with! You have a real problem with paedos on this site. Deal with it. This paedo was paranoid about their kiddie porn being criticised and carried a grudge for 8 months about it. This is all that this entire thing has been about. I can’t actually believe that thread is still up and the users not banned. I’ve already reported it to you. Leave it up by all means and endorse it.

  • ghost_of_faso2
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    I mean you’re demanding an apology when you flipped out at a simple correction and brought up a confusing analogy of someone beating there wife.

    People expect a base level of respect here and you escelated it for no good reason, I can understand the timeout and I think you coming back angrier and demanding an apology from the user/manager is a bad look.

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      I mean you’re demanding an apology when you flipped out at a simple correction

      But I didn’t “flip out” at a “simple correction”. I responded in kind to a troll who, as is plain to see for any honest reader, “attacked me for an innocent mistake, fantasised about me doing hypothetical racist things, asked me loaded questions and tried to put words in my mouth to fool credulous onlookers

      People expect a base level of respect here

      Entirely my point. Did you see this happen with my abuser?

      You’re being dishonest.

      and brought up a confusing analogy of someone beating there wife.

      EDIT: “and brought up a confusing analogy of someone beating there wife.” This is the canonical example of a loaded question.

      Even if this was the root of your confusion, you still need to explain why you skipped over their performative outrage and abusive comments.

      • ghost_of_faso2
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        I responded in kind to a troll who, as is plain to see for any honest reader, “attacked me for an innocent mistake, fantasised about me doing hypothetical racist things, asked me loaded questions and tried to put words in my mouth to fool credulous onlookers”

        They rightfully corrected you, you reading into this as a troll tells me you likely have some issues accepting criticism and it genuinally sounds like unresolved anger issues, neither of which are ok to take out on random people online.

        Did you see this happen with my abuser?

        You keep invoking domestic abuse when someone was merely pointing out that you got a langauge wrong and I sense the hole only getting dug deeper as you refuse to achknowledge your own role in this.

        • LarkinDeParkOP
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          They rightfully corrected you,

          I would have no issue with a correction. It seems like nobody has anything to say about the lashing out that went along with the correction. I responded to the anger on display, it wasn’t from me.

          You keep invoking domestic abuse

          No I don’t. More dishonesty. I’m talking about verbal abuse.

      • CriticalResist8A
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        Why do you misgender the user in question when they clearly have a trans flag in their display name and she/her on their profile bio?

        • LarkinDeParkOP
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          I did not know this. I’ve correct the post.

          Is it really plausible that I come here looking for fair treatment and intentionally misgender someone, on lemmygrad and self sabotage my attempt to get a fair hearing?

  • loathsome dongeaterA
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    If you want to be taken seriously at all first of all don’t slander a longtime user as a troll and abuser for the crime of engaging with you in a singular comment chain. And don’t misgender her.

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      first of all don’t slander a longtime user as a troll

      I was slandered as a racist by her, completely without any supporting evidence or argument because she bore a grudge from some ancient discussion. This is what happened.

      for the crime of engaging with you in a singular comment chain

      Now you’re not being serious. That is not at all an honest reading of what happened. Please act with integrity here. You’re showing that you have no interest in having a fair judgement on this.

      One of you admins needs to take a few deep breaths and engage in some self criticism. What happened here was a travesty.

      You have an opportunity to put your hands up and say you got it wrong. You watched someone attack a comrade out of the blue and not only did you stand back and let it happen, you helped them out of some kind of just world fallacious thinking. You saw someone raging and assumed their anger must have had some real legitimacy and that they were affronted by what had taken place, but as we saw later, they were just operating under a long simmering grudge about their ephebophilia hobby being criticised, months ago.

      • CriticalResist8A
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        Thanks for correcting her gender. As you know that’s a sitewide rule so before any discussion can take place we have to look into that.

        Our reading of the situation differs. She called you out for the misspelling that wasn’t one, and you reacted by asking “will you also stop beating your wife?” (modlog with the deleted comment). Do you think it was a proportional response to say that, and can you agree that it may have been a factor in the user’s response?

        • LarkinDeParkOP
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          She called you out for the misspelling that wasn’t one

          Is that really something that needs “calling out”? Would a simple correction not be more comradely?

          , and you reacted by asking “will you also stop beating your wife?”

          This is not true. I reacted to this:

          Will you also start telling people who type in Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Indonesia (both of which use English letters btw); or really, people when they type any non-western languages (like even arabic for example) using english letters that they’re just “misspelling” shit?

          Was this really necessary? What do you think this achieved? This is the toxic behaviour in the thread, the rest is my, far more tame, response.

          It’s telling already that two admins now have seemingly decided to be dishonest in their treatment of this and erase my attacker’s behaviour.

          Was it comradely to leave a comment up telling me to “eat soft shit”? Do you endorse that treatment of comrades?

          • CriticalResist8A
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            By call-out I mean her first reply in its entirety.

            But yes, that’s where we disagree and where the bans came from - one sitewide (only admins can issue them) and three from communities (can be issued by admins or community moderators). Your response to the user was out of proportion.

            Was it comradely to leave a comment up telling me to “eat soft shit”? Do you endorse that treatment of comrades?

            She was reacting to your prior insult. It was a proportionate response. If she had said that in the first comment when you pointed out the misspelling that would be entirely different and we would have banned her instead. But that’s a hypothetical.

            I got two different users confused. They told you this after you asked the first user if they “will stop beating their wife”. You’re trying to defend it and recontextualize it, but you did say that as shown in the modlog. It was a disproportionate response, that’s all there is to it. That’s where the discussion begins, everything else is out of topic.

            • LarkinDeParkOP
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              By call-out I mean her first reply in its entirety.

              Her first reply was to get me to list out the words I thought were misspellings so that I’d walk into the trap.

              But yes, that’s where we disagree and where the bans came from

              Could you clarify? Where do we disagree and where did the bans come from?

              Your response to the user was out of proportion.

              Because the famous loaded question analogy is triggering or something? If I’d just said “please stop with the abuse and loaded questions”, then that would have been okay?

              It was a proportionate response.

              Telling someone to “eat soft shit” is proportional to a calling out of loaded questions? I don’t think you’ve given this enough thought. This isn’t holding water at all.

              I got two different users confused. They told you this after you asked the first user if they “will stop beating their wife”.

              You’re misquoting me. They said:

              Will you also start telling people… [fantasises about me doing things]

              and in response I said:

              Will you also stop beating your wife?

              The famous response to being asked loaded questions. A perfectly normal and proportionate response that calls out the abusive loaded question.

              You’re trying to defend it and recontextualize it,

              It only has one single context. You’re simply wrong here, it isn’t a matter of opinion. If you were unfamiliar with the expression then all of this is more understandable. But now that you have no excuse to not understand it, then I don’t know on what basis you’re continuing to try to justify this response.

              I still haven’t heard anything at all to support the charge of racism.

              I think you’re too proud to admit that you messed up and you’re circling the wagons like cops. I can’t overstate how disappointing it is to see a group of people who call themselves Marxist Leninists have such low integrity and engage in a defensive, fanciful, ridiculous and obvious lie together instead of owning up to a terrible error of judgement.

              Nothing I said was racist and nothing I said was any more toxic than how I was attacked. This is a fact.

              • CriticalResist8A
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                I edited my previous comment because I got two different users confused.

                But this follows with my edit. You’re going in circles and trying to point out a logical fallacy by asking tons of questions.

                You asked someone if they “will stop beating their wife?” unprompted, at a perceived slight. The administration and everyone else who has commented here so far disagrees with you trying to walk it back. That’s all there is to it. You got a 15 day sitewide ban and it expired 11 days ago. Don’t make these kinds of comments towards other users.

                • LarkinDeParkOP
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                  Edited mine too.

                  You’re going in circles and trying to point out a logical fallacy by asking tons of questions.

                  I deleted two questions to keep it on topic. I’m going in a perfectly straight line looking for evidence of my racism or that I was the one being “toxic”. None have been provided.

                  The administration and everyone else who has commented here so far disagrees with you trying to walk it back.

                  No, they simply didn’t engage with it but sought to derail the thread. Nobody offered any reasoned disagreement.

                  Don’t make these kinds of comments towards other users.

                  Which kind? Don’t use extremely common defenses to dishonest attempts to slur people? You’re standing up for the bully here.

  • ☭ Comrade Pup Ivy 🇨🇺
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    Ok, lets have some real talk here, I would like to state you have mixed up quite a few events on the mod log, and one of them I feel means you owe the kind Admin team here an apology, and a massive one at that.

    First I was the mod on GZD who took the mod action to ban you from the community, and removed the comment. The comment was not removed by the Admin team, nor was the word “racist” or “racism” used by them, but that was typed by me. There reason for a ban was “toxicity”. Given by far most of your ire has been directed at the term “racist” I would like to inform you that you are in fact lashing out at the wrong party here and if you feel the need to direct a complaint please direct it my way.

    Now, for your second mixup, you seem to be mixing up the reason why you where banned and the reason the comment was removed, I will quote from the modlog the reasonings for why you where banned from both the GZD community and the instance. GZD " Implieing[sic] a forign[sic[ language was a miss speolling[sic[, and lashing out when corrected" I admit it I am bad at spelling if you would like to discuss that I would be more than happy to, atleast one of these was a sloppy type, however I feel as if this is still a readable explanation. As you can see you where banned from GZD for 23 days because you lashed out after being corrected, you where corrected for complaining that a forign language was not spelled in a way that looked correct to you, there was no implication for intent however I felt that it was needed context in the explaining of what happened before you lashed out. As for the Administration team they merely wrote “Toxicity” I am not going to speak for them however I would be willing to assume this related to the manner in that you lashed out after being corrected.

    Your problem seems to lie in what I typed for the reason I removed your comment, “Racism and Lashing out at a correction” I feel as though the lashing out was covered in the previous paragraph aswell as is obvious when reading the thread so I will not bring that up agian other than to mention that this was a key comment in said escilation hence why it was included in my reasoning, as in my judgement leaving it up would only fan the flaims more, this being increasingly unfair as you had a temp ban and where unable to reply, and bring down the over all temperature and volatility of the thread. As for the Racism, I cannot read your mind nor did I say that this was done with malice, however that “will you stop beating your wife” does come across as racist in some contexts, especially when one is not familiar with the turn of phrase. I can tell you that I am familiar with the phrase however, there are 3 things to consider here, first not everyone knows this phrase, it is not really all that well known, 2, there is a trope especialy in the US where people who are Muslim or from Muslim majority contries beat there wife, 3, reports where coming in assuming that the coment was left in the context of the second and not the first. I can tell you that I was fairly confident that you meant it as the phrase for leading question, but it was clear to me that the community did not see it as such, and it would have been more detrimental to your case to leave that comment up, especially when you where not there to clear up the misunderstanding, and agian leaving the comment up would only inflame the comunity. It is my opinion that my reason for removal is accurate

    Third I would like to bring up a pattern of behavior that I have seen from you,

    You threw a massive tantrum over animated shows, from japan, being child porn, this resulted in a temporary ban on the GZD community
    You got corrected for saying a difrent language was miss spelled, you lashed out at that You get back from a ban for “toxicity” and you throw a temper-tantrum because we do not treat you with childrens gloves or mod over exclusivly what you hold in your heart but instead on what we see.

    You seem to constantly take a normal interaction that happens in a community and if it is aimed aganst you, or opposes something you belive you lash out. I am of the beliefe that no one is above change, no one cannot learn and correct there behavior, however you seem to both in previous actions and in replies in this thread seem unwilling to be self critical, or to assume you might have done something to be responcible even a little bit, you refuse to take accountablilty and you are refusing to learn.

    You still refere to all animated shows from japan as “Kiddie porn” only staying up here I assume because this is the peoples court and removing that claim would also remove far more of you saying your peice. You refer to the person you lashed out to as your abuser and attacker. You feel as if moderation is a personal afront to you, and you have now reacted to feel as if that extends to anyone who has had any moderator or administrative action taken aganst them, and you call it bullying. I am not saying you are unable to change but you have to start now or this is only going to cycle or its going to end in a full instance perma ban, and from the hurt you are displaying over a 2 week ban I do not think you want that

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      First I was the mod on GZD who took the mod action to ban you from the community, and removed the comment. The comment was not removed by the Admin team, nor was the word “racist” or “racism” used by them, but that was typed by me. There reason for a ban was “toxicity”. Given by far most of your ire has been directed at the term “racist” I would like to inform you that you are in fact lashing out at the wrong party here and if you feel the need to direct a complaint please direct it my way.

      Thanks for coming out and owning up. But I knew it wasn’t the admins who banned me for “racism”. It was right there in the mod log. I made the post addressing both. I even seperated the two, saying that at a stretch I could forgive the charge of “toxicity” but the racism charge was outrageous and ridiculous. As I’ve seen, it was the first in a list of absurd charges against me, all based on liberal idpol weaponisation of minority bigotry. These bad faith attacks should be as punishable as the real thing. False allegations belittle the credibility of the real thing and in doing so enable more abuse.

      you seem to be mixing up the reason why you where banned and the reason the comment was removed,

      I never cared to be honest. It was all part of the same thing to me.

      I would be willing to assume this related to the manner in that you lashed out after being corrected.

      This is the same dishonest misreading that I’ve been calling out throughout. I “lashed out” at someone attacking me with loaded questions and putting words in my mouth in order to play to the crowd with performative rage. I did not lash out at being corrected. No honest reading of the exchange can come away with that framing.

      As for the Racism, I cannot read your mind nor did I say that this was done with malice, however that “will you stop beating your wife” does come across as racist in some contexts, especially when one is not familiar with the turn of phrase.

      I am not responsible for other peoples’ knowledge and familiarity with the language we’re communicating in.

      I can tell you that I am familiar with the phrase however, there are 3 things to consider here, first not everyone knows this phrase, it is not really all that well known,

      I don’t care, this is irrelevant. We are text on a website.

      2, there is a trope especialy in the US where people who are Muslim or from Muslim majority contries beat there wife,

      Again, I don’t care, this is irrelevant.

      3, reports where coming in assuming that the coment was left in the context of the second and not the first. I can tell you that I was fairly confident that you meant it as the phrase for leading question, but it was clear to me that the community did not see it as such, and it would have been more detrimental to your case to leave that comment up, especially when you where not there to clear up the misunderstanding, and agian leaving the comment up would only inflame the comunity.

      Oh no? This was all designed to rile up the community. Everyone wants to join in a pile on. Crowds can be ugly things. So I would have been downvoted. So what?

      It is my opinion that my reason for removal is accurate

      You were protecting the feelings of a manipulated mob?

      You threw a massive tantrum over animated shows, from japan, being child porn, this resulted in a temporary ban on the GZD community

      No, it wasn’t a massive tantrum, it was about child porn I received in a box with a keyboard. I made the mistake of calling it “anime”, that’s all. The people who freaked out were the little girl cartoon enjoyers.

      You got corrected for saying a difrent language was miss spelled, you lashed out at that You get back from a ban for “toxicity” and you throw a temper-tantrum because we do not treat you with childrens gloves or mod over exclusivly what you hold in your heart but instead on what we see.

      Again with the false reading of the events and a complete excusing of my attacker. You just above admitted you were treating the mob with kid gloves to protect their feelings.

      You seem to constantly take a normal interaction that happens in a community and if it is aimed aganst you, or opposes something you belive you lash out.

      Constantly? Really? It was 8 months ago and I’d forgotten all about it, apparently someone else hadn’t.

      You still refere to all animated shows from japan as “Kiddie porn”

      No that’s not true. You just made that up.

      You refer to the person you lashed out to as your abuser and attacker.

      Yes. I lashed out at their attack and abuse, remember?

      You feel as if moderation is a personal afront to you, and you have now reacted to feel as if that extends to anyone who has had any moderator or administrative action taken aganst them, and you call it bullying.

      It amazes me how poor everyone is at lying here. This is another completely baseless lie. I don’t think anyone who is ever modded is bullied?

      I am not saying you are unable to change but you have to start now or this is only going to cycle or its going to end in a full instance perma ban, and from the hurt you are displaying over a 2 week ban I do not think you want that

      Thanks for your thoughts, and you now have mine. I think you need to be less gullible and be more generous with the benefit of the doubt. You could have given a warning to the instigator but chose to be led by the charade they were carrying on with. I certainly will not be sticking around here. I’m just here to let everyone have their say.

  • CriticalResist8A
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    I don’t think anyone needs further comments with the body of content readily available below but it’s customary that we leave a comment when we lock a topic.

    Long story short everyone who commented on this thread disagreed with Larkin’s sequence of events, and eventually it was reflected that most of them were getting tired of him insulting them and trying to rile them up when they were just trying to help as third-party observers. It’s right around here in this comment chain: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/5943585/5296505

    This was the main prompt for Larkin’s final, permanent ban. I’m locking the topic because there’s not much else to say here now that he’s been banned.

    The other factors for this ban were that he was changing his discourse depending on where the other person was sympathizing with him, showing he had no good faith. We knew that from the moment he posted this thread (you can read the OP above) but this is the purpose of this community, to let people appeal their ban.

    His attempts at splitting this community over imagined mod abuse didn’t take and I have no doubt that he’ll go into his other communities crying about what an injustice this is but this entire thread is available as evidence, so you can judge for yourself.

    edit: because this was also a point of contention and seems to be sparking a discussion, Larkin makes references to a thread that he considers to be “kiddy porn” even though it’s not porn by any stretch of the imagination but whatever. He claims to have made reports about the thread at the time (15 days ago) but I’ve been ctrl+f’ing in the reports log and cannot find any report about this thread or its comments in the timeframe. The log is a bit difficult to navigate but it should still show up with a search.

  • DeadlyBunny@lemm.ee
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    OP is a transphobe. The pronoun “he” in this post refers to a trans woman. About that wife beating analogy another commenter mentioned, I think OP is accusing the trans woman they were arguing with of being a domestic abuser simply because OP wrongly views her as a man. In terf circles, I know there’s transphobic accusations about trans people abusing their wifes because reactionaries think were mentally ill and therefore must abuse our partners.

    • LarkinDeParkOP
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      OP is a transphobe. The pronoun “he” in this post refers to a trans woman.

      WHAT??! Who? If I’ve accidentally misgendered someone then I apologise. I am not a transphobe in any way.

      I think OP is accusing the trans woman they were arguing with of being a domestic abuser simply because OP wrongly views her as a man.

      Nobody is accusing anyone of being a domestic abuser anywhere here. Are this many people not aware of this loaded question example?

      This is even weaker than the accusation of racism. Completely baseless attempts to paint someone as an oppressor of minorities to try to whip up a crowd.

      • DeadlyBunny@lemm.ee
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        To be honest I never heard of that loaded question exemple, but I guess that it makes sense considering the context. Also, the person you were arguing with is a trans woman. She is a long time user, however I think she took a break and only recently came back, and that could be the reason why you didn’t know they’re trans. I apologize if you didn’t know. That being said, I do remember you accusing another trans person of having an anime picture that could be found on vaush’s computer, referring to vaush’s pedophilic stuff. That thread can be found in the touhou community. It seems like there’s repeated transphobia coming from you, but I could be wrong I guess.

        • LarkinDeParkOP
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          Thanks, I appreciate the apology. I am not a transphobic person in any way. Maybe I should pay attention to peoples’ bios more but I’ve never had any idea if I was talking to a trans person.

          having an anime picture that could be found on vaush’s computer

          To give a brief outline from memory. I recieved a few stickers in a box with a keyboard I bought. They depicted a cartoon little girl with enormous breasts. I brought this up in a thread and people went nuts about it, apparently I wasn’t using the correct names for the sub genres of cartoon porn. I was pissed off about it and made that comment in a different thread. I was banned from hexbear for it.

          It seems like there’s repeated transphobia coming from you, but I could be wrong I guess.

          I’ve never been aware of chatting to a trans person on here.

    • porcupine
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      1 month ago

      I clicked into this thread on a whim. I don’t know you or anyone involved in that thread. I don’t know anything about the substance of the original topic in that thread. What I see in that thread begins with you posting an aggressive, insulting reply to the original post. The OP replied to you in a neutral and reasonable tone disagreeing with your initial accusation. Your next response is what got removed, and from what I can see here, it was once again an inflammatory and disproportionate escalation. Yes, I’m familiar with the expression you used. No, I don’t believe you intended it to be taken strictly literally. No, I also don’t believe you chose that specific expression without the intent to escalate and provoke. It is only after your comments that earned you a ban that I see anyone engaging with you in an adversarial way.

      What I see from you in this thread is an unwillingness to self-reflect and an absence of humility. You seem to demand that everyone evaluate your words based on how you claim to have intended them, but evaluate everyone else’s words based on perceived slights as only you infer them. Anyone whose review of that facts fails to align with your subjective personal experience is immediately accused by you of engaging in an intentionally dishonest conspiracy against you for some unknowable reason.

      Again, I don’t know you, I’m not invested in this, and I don’t intend to engage with you about it. I would encourage someone in your position to take a break and reflect on what about your recent behavior might be causing everyone I see in this thread and the linked thread to have the same shared negative experience interacting with you.

      • LarkinDeParkOP
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        What I see in that thread begins with you posting an aggressive, insulting reply to the original post.

        An offhand remark mocking redditors? Come on. You’re coming in and seeing what you want to see. That comment is perfectly normal.

        The OP replied to you in a neutral and reasonable tone disagreeing with your initial accusation.

        This is where you show yourself up. She attacked me, completely out of nowhere, that’s what happened. You show your lack of honesty here. It’s very hard to take you seriously now. This is where anyone discussing this falls down. Nobody is willing to be honest about this part. Two admins tried to lie about it and skip over it as if it didn’t happen, it’s the exact crux of the issue. You just tried to paint over it as a neutral and reasonable tone. You’re insulting my, and all other readers’ intelligence with this shameless lying. Do you think anyone is really fooled by this?

        • redtea
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          I’ve read through this and the other thread.

          The issue in the original thread is that you said something insensitive about someone who is clearly writing English as a second language, mixing multiple languages, or is perhaps dyslexic. It’s not mere misspellings in the screenshot. It seems to be an obvious mixture of two languages or unrecognisable misspellings.

          We know it’s the former, now. From the context that was always more likely. The OP spoke of the screenshot as if it was intelligible, suggesting the unknown words were knowable to someone familiar with at least one of the regions in question.

          Saying anything negative about either ESL-English or dyslexia, etc, is going to rile people up. Given how clear it was one of these options, it’s easy to understand why someone who spotted the ESL factor would respond to you with the implications of what you said. If someone would make such a comment about someone mixing two given languages, would they also mock other aspects of other languages or uses of English? The user responding to you was probably upset that you would comment on the language at all, and subsequently followed the logic through in their response. From that perspective, they weren’t loaded questions. The questions followed directly from your words.

          Your response may be a common response to someone asking loaded questions. I’ve heard the phrase before. The problem is threefold. First, the response to you about other foreign languages written in the alphabet was almost certainly not loaded questioning (or trolling), for the reasons above.

          Second, following from the first, your idiomatic response reads as doubling down on the message in your first comment, reinforcing it and it’s problems.

          Third, you can’t expect international or ESL speakers to understand idioms and phrases like the one you used. Such words will be read literally. And the literal reading of the phrase you used doesn’t sound great. Assuming that English speakers from around the globe will understand idioms that are well known but mainly to native speakers of a particular location will lead to miscommunications like this one.

          Then to the point about racism. If someone has interpreted the initial exchange as I’ve sketched above, what other conclusion are they to draw? You made a comment about the English skills of an international or ESL speaker, albeit framed as website-specific but that seems irrelevant. That comes off as racist. (If not that, then an insensitive comment about someone who may be dyslexic, which is not racism but ableism.)Then you gave the impression of doubling down on your initial message rather than reflecting on it’s real implications.

          I don’t think you’ll like this interpretation but it and others’ responses flow from that first comment you made about the language in the screenshot.

          • LarkinDeParkOP
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            1 month ago

            Thanks for the post. I appreciate the effort that it must have taken. This will be my last comment on the matter as I don’t have any expectation anymore of a fair hearing. If I’ve come across as cranky and self righteous in this thread, well that’s because I’m righteously aggrieved.

            The fact that the only responses before yours were completely unable to justify my treatment without lies of omission and dishonest reframings of a very simple cut and dried short thread tells the whole story. In the end the given reason for my ban was for using a phrase to defend myself. A phrase that others, including you agree is commonplace. Me being labelled a racist without basis and told to “eat soft shit” is still unaddressed. This type of abuse is allowed apparently and tacitly endorsed by you.

            Now I’m given a convoluted, contrived “threefold” excuse for a ban, that adds ableism and some kind of English speaking chauvinism to the other already dismissed baseless idpol based attacks, racism and transphobia. We’ve come a long way from sequences of misinterpreted characters. I guess homophobia or misogyny were too awkward to shoehorn in too?

            Obviously the only other people in the thread who are going to chime in are just there to get their own boot in and join in the kicking of someone who was attacked, because it’s easy prey. Like I said before it’s simply Just World/Victim Blaming mindset. I’ve no doubt that many others are looking on in disbelief at what’s gone on here. In the original thread someone has a deleted comment that I assume is pointing out that the phrase I was banned for was innocuous in itself. That they felt the need to then delete their own comment is telling.

            There’s nothing that could have been said to me that you couldn’t just ignore or make light of as you so chose. Which is why I picked that title for this post. No level of abuse, “eat soft shit” etc… Now it’s not even my words that are being used to hang me, it’s daydreams about possible motivations and … hey I don’t really care anymore.

            I’ll leave some advice before I go about community building and how you should learn from this.

            When you have a collection of generally well meaning people and you have a small number of those with power over them, these incidents are inevitable. Eventually as there’s nothing real to police, people are just going to magnify and find new things to be falsely self-righteous about. Standards are elastic and applied selectively. Rules are made up on the spot, the cop mentality of circling the wagons and protecting each other from revolts are a timeless classic of all fora.

            Now I don’t in principle have an issue with the “heavy handed” moderation, but it needs to have trustworthy people with cool heads doing it. And it needs to be reasonably consistent. What are you even trying to achieve with your ban-first policy? What is the purpose of these bans? Punishment? Deterrence? This is just another reddit clone, except this time the people being harassed are comrades. You’ve corralled a large number of ML and adjacents into one panopticon that you’d expect would be a paradise of teaching and learning, but you have powers over people and those buttons aren’t going to push themselves. Instead of policing real wreckers, trolls and idiots, you’re finding minuscule issues like this one with which to feel smugly superior. I know exactly the temptation. I could go on at length on this topic. The skills needed to build a healthy community are not the same skills needed to understand theory, and not the same as the skills needed to run and maintain websites. You have something rotten in your admin culture. You have nothing original in this website. All of reddit’s issues have been ported wholesale to here. Mods as eternal royalty with no oversight of their abuses. Admins roam the halls looking for random tone to police, and purity breathalysing discussions. I can give you examples but you know this already. This project will fail if you continue with this behaviour. The Matthew Miller treatment from people appealing their bans… Again I could go on for pages about the issues you have. People will get sick of it soon enough while you play choosing beggars for good contributors. We’re here for the Yogthos posts and the odd interesting snippet of theory from someone you’ll probably attack and drive away after some time.

            The golden days of ML r/genzhou of the past few years is gone and this is a very poor imitation. The serious problem of open (and underground) paedophilia that’s tolerated here (while simple expressions are banworthy) is a disgrace. There are multiple instances of this. This is my attacker fantasising about sex acts with fourteen year olds who can’t consent. Insert your own alternative descriptions. Does their sensitivity about their cartoon sexualised kids make more sense now? They clearly had me tagged and decided to try to set a trap and do some perfomative outrage that you fell for. You can pretend that you weren’t aware of this and the other instances of child pornography on the site. The fact that adult porn is banned here, even feminist porn, and this (that they openly admit to viewing as porn) is allowed, is nothing short of shocking. It’s potentially very damaging to lemmygrad. I know admins have seen their bio with a little girl putting something in her mouth and orgasming. It’s an entire genre, “ahegao face”. So there’s a serious cultural issue going on in general. Nobody, male, female, trans either gets to indulge in paedophile fantasies on even the shittiest of web fora. Get your shit together.

            I was going to make another post about this so we could have a big discussion but I don’t trust you enough to allow it. It will be interesting to see how you deal with this, since we know how low your bar is for bans. It’s important that you deal with it openly in the light because I’ll need to approach it from another angle if you try to cover it up. It needs to be dealt with appropriately and comprehensively. It’s not even your only major issue. You should add a feminist onto the admin team. No, a real one.

            You can ban me now if you like, or I’ll delete my account in a couple of days, just to give you the right of reply that you denied me.

            • ☭ Comrade Pup Ivy 🇨🇺
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              You know you are allowed to just delete your account or not come back after a ban.

              I also fail to see how you did not have the right to reply, you have just thrown a massive tantrum, a reply one might say, and you where allowed to do it, an admin has not come here to remove or ban or even so much as supress a single one of your comments

              second I fail to see the relivence of the feminim comment are you saying none of the admin understand feminism? what is your evidence for this? is this Marxist Feminism or Liberal Feminism?

              • LarkinDeParkOP
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                You know you are allowed to just delete your account or not come back after a ban.

                Just about to. Thought I’d try to help you improve before I do.

                I also fail to see how you did not have the right to reply

                I was banned for weeks remember? Even shit sites like reddit gives you a chance to respond and plead your case. Do you honestly, with all the knee-jerk bans you enforce, think you’re never wrong?

                an admin has not come here to remove or ban or even so much as supress a single one of your comments

                I am impressed with this, it’s honestly better than I expected.

                second I fail to see the relivence of the feminim comment are you saying none of the admin understand feminism? what is your evidence for this? is this Marxist Feminism or Liberal Feminism?

                The fact that there was a popular post on here with multiple people fantasising about sex with underage girls is a real cultural problem you have here. Anime is a hive of these people and you need to clamp down on it. This entire thing is rooted in one paedophile bearing a grudge about their underage porn being criticised. Cartoon or not, this is a very real problem. It’s illegal in Japan to produce, distribute, and possess porn with actual children, but unfortunately there are no such laws that apply to cartoons. This is the origin of much of these tiny girl/massive boobs porn. It’s not cute, it’s sick and has actual damaging consequenses in the real world. It should not be normalised. It’s full of excuse making tropes like “she only looks like a child but she’s ackshually totally hundreds of years old!”. The genre has long had a problematic relationship with not only gender and racial representations but specifically the sexualisation of minors. Sometimes this is something annoying but relatively minor like revealing costumes or ridiculous boob jiggles, while other times it’s something more actively harmful, like adults preying on minors or stories that treat sexual assault as funny or romantic.

                If you take nothing else away from this then start thinking about what is going on with lemmygrad and its “I can’t believe it’s not porn”, porn.

                • CriticalResist8A
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                  1 month ago

                  I am impressed with this, it’s honestly better than I expected.

                  Oh fuck off and delete your account already, save us the click. I told you several times we don’t delete comments or ban and you insulted me over it every chance you got by convincing yourself I was trying to threaten you or ban you, and the moment you realize people aren’t following along in your attempts to wreck this community you change your discourse completely.

                  Go back to reddit you’ll fit better there. Bye.