Just finished my first day. I only had one class and it didn’t even go the full length as we only went over what to expect in the class, typical first day stuff.

I’m writing this because even though I only had one class I was still scared shitless. I was shaking like mad walking through the different buildings looking for my class. I almost fell down the stairs in my panic. Battling the constant negative thoughts with some semblance of neutrality and logic was taxing as hell.

I was so embarrassed just walking down the halls. Everyone looked so fashionable and sure of themselves, I felt like a loser to be honest. My fit was definitely a bit weird and I just caved in on myself, to the point I was too scared to properly stomp the snow off my boots.

I waited outside the class door until it was the scheduled time, but when I went in the auditorium was almost full. I was confused if I was interrupting the previous class. But since this is day one of the year the classes ended way earlier, letting the next class enter early as well. Doesn’t seem like a big deal but all these little bumps felt like an earthquake to me. I even made sure to take my meds but I was still anxious as hell.

I was just filled with self doubt: my hair looks awful, my clothes are stupid, I’m tracking in wet snow, I shouldn’t keep my coat on, is my typing too loud? Does my screen saver look stupid? What app is everyone else using? And many more.

Although, I’m still excited and determined. It seems impossible that I’d feel that way but I know this is my first step in my long term plans. Get your honours undergrad, work towards your PhD, graduate with a PhD, and get to work changing the world.

My professors seem really nice and chill, even giving study tips to help us not get overwhelmed. I’m looking forward to the start of my other courses and hopefully this anxiety will lessen.

Definitely a day to tell my therapist lol

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      21 year ago

      Thank you, comrade! I’m genuinely excited for school even though it doesn’t seem like it from my post lol.

  • Sorry about the turbulent day, but truly it’s par for the course with sensory overload. Always a good idea to locate your classrooms prior to the first class 100%. Also, screw any of the folks if they looked down on you! Stay on good terms with your professors, office hours help with this, plus chat up the folks seated next to you to establish a study group. You have legitimate plans for your academics while a majorty of your classmates are there simply because they were told to attend.

    When I went back to school as an older student, I didn’t feel like I fit in at all. As odd as it can be, it allows you to stay laser focused on class work helping you reach the goals you’ve set out to accomplish. Anything worth having is worth a little pain. Keep your head up, learn from previous experience and keep on keepin on. You got this!

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      41 year ago

      Sensory overload is a great way to explain what I was going through, first day jitters. Thankfully I already looked for my classes ahead of time because I know if I didn’t I’d get mixed up right away.

      My first day I only had one class, Tuesday is my first day for my political science class and I think that one I’m genuinely anxious of. The professor seems nice from the student reviews I read, but I’m more so worried about my classmates.

      I’m incredibly passionate about politics, which is obvious considering I’m on Lemmygrad, haha. Because of that passion I tend to get quite overwhelmed especially when I’m faced with adversary: I’ll start to stutter, slur my words, or even cry. This is also due to my mental health (BPD, social anxiety, ADHD, whatnot). Seems very contradictory for me to pursue politics, specifically in Marxist-Leninism, but I know I have the means to help and the inner drive to push through.

      I’m just hoping my confidence will build enough for me not to breakdown. I’ll definitely be coming here for help in my Political Science courses.

      • Just remember, the best method to help change someones mind (not everyone will be willing to change) is to make concepts relatable and approachable. Nonetheless, for some people interactacting is best done through writing. I’d think taking notes on topics discussed in class you’d like to challenge, chewing on it and then writing out a response would be a solid game plan. You could somewhat recite it when the topic is referenced in class again or submit it in an online class discussion. Even if you don’t recite or submit it, this process would definitely help build confidence plus your writing skills

  • Water Bowl Slime
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    81 year ago

    Even though I wasn’t there I can say with confidence that your hair looked normal, your clothes were fine, and not taking off your coat was prudent because the class was short enough to not be worth the bother. Though you should take notes with a pencil and notebook instead of a computer if you’re able. It makes your brain digest harder and prevents you from taking shortcuts like downloading the presentations or copying from the internet.

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      31 year ago

      The physical writing bit was actually suggested by my psychology professor so I’m definitely going to do that. And thank you for the reassurance, honestly the uni seems fine, I was just super in my head.

      • Water Bowl Slime
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        41 year ago

        As a former TA, lemme tell you that if you just show up consistently and submit your assignments on time then you’re already doing better than much of the class. And if you do all your homework properly on top of that? You’re in the top 10% for sure.

        • @SpaceDogsOP
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          21 year ago

          This took a big weight off my shoulders, thank you. I’m going to take advantage of all the help available at school and here to make sure I stay steady

  • SovereignState
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    1 year ago

    For the most part, even the cockiest high schoolers become like scared little kids when they hit college. Most of em were probably experiencing something very similar to what you were.

    College is a great time to reinvent yourself as well, however you see fit. Knowing no one allows for some pretty great opportunity there. I’m glad it went mostly ok.

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      21 year ago

      It was definitely first day jitters. I’m worried about my political science class as I haven’t started it yet, but I’m genuinely excited for university as a whole. It’s my first step in my plan to become a better equipped comrade.

      • SovereignState
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        1 year ago

        I know that you are intelligent and capable, comrade, but I’d be remiss not to offer a friendly reminder to maintain a keen critical eye in political science classes. You’re more developed politically than I was at the time, though.

        Just that a college friend of mine was in a polisci class freshman year and I read the textbook. Oh my dear god. “America is capitalism, Sweden is socialism, Norf Korea is communism”. Into college they’re teaching young adults a 3rd grade understanding of different political systems. Ugh. Just advising to keep a close lookout for opaque propaganda. It’ll help reify the awareness you’ve already got as well as introduce you to the bourgeois miseducation machine and maybe help you consider effective ways to combat it.

        This advice could be totally unhelpful, as I went to a different college than you - so professors, textbooks, curriculum etc. are all likely to be pretty different. Might even be blessed with an undercover Marxist professor. I think being on the lookout for that kinda liberal nonsense is a good idea regardless, though, even if you wind up witnessing it less.

        • @SpaceDogsOP
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          21 year ago

          I’m definitely going to tread carefully in PoliSci, I’ve seen way too many instances of these classes being ridiculous. I’m going to be coming here to share info and ask for help.

  • stasis
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    71 year ago

    that must suck :(

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      31 year ago

      It does suck when my own head is sabotaging me, but I’m getting through it. Just gotta get used to the uni life and then I’ll be fine.

      • @redtea
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        31 year ago

        You’ve taken the hardest step now, facing something so new and intimidating. It’ll get easier as the buildings become familiar.

        Don’t worry about what others think. Most of them will be going through the same as you, and will be thinking about themselves rather than others.

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      41 year ago

      Thank you, GrainEater, big fan! I’ve only had one class so far, PoliSci is next week, but the school seems genuinely great. It’s only my head that it’s screwing with me so far lol

  • @redtea
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    31 year ago

    Are you doing a ‘liberal arts’ degree, where you choose a range of subjects and then decide on a major? If so, what are your subject plans?

    (Btw, now is a good time of year to buy paper on sale. I just bought a stack of exercise books for cheap (~75% off). Some in the store was Christmas themed, but I found some plain items on sale. Might be worth keeping an eye out.)

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      21 year ago

      I’ve never heard it be called a liberal arts degree up here in Canada. I’m getting my Bachelor of Arts with a Major in Psychology and a Minor in Political Science. I’m in my early year of undergrad so they won’t let me declare a major yet but I’m taking all the required classes, I should be able to declare my major by the end of this year in fall semester.