• CascadeOfLight [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    cia I swear to defend my country against enemies both foreign and domestic, whole or separated into constituent cloves, whether or not peeled, chilled, fresh, frozen, provisionally preserved or packed in water or other neutral substance, and the threat they pose to US. national security.

  • albigu
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    1 year ago

    As capitalist, he is only capital personified. His soul is the soul of capital. But capital has one single life impulse, the tendency to create value and surplus-value, to make its constant factor, the means of production, absorb the greatest possible amount of surplus-labour. Capital is dead labour, that, vampire-like, only lives by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks.

    I’m starting to think Marx wasn’t just using an allegory there.

  • sevenapples
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    1 year ago

    Communist China’s growth practices are well-documented in the public domain, from cooking blogs and home magazines to YouTube videos and documentaries. These practices include such offenses as fertilizing garlic with human feces and forms of sewage, growing garlic in sewage, bleaching garlic to make it appear whiter and cleaner to the eye after its growth in unsanitary conditions, and stripping the root end from garlic before it enters U.S. markets as to make it appear more appealing and also to comply with U.S. laws regarding prevention of soil-borne diseases and contaminants.

    God forbid Communist China … complies with our regulations?

    • berrytopylus [she/her,they/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      These practices include such offenses as fertilizing garlic with human feces and forms of sewage, growing garlic in sewage

      From https://www.mcgill.ca/oss/article/you-asked/it-true-garlic-china-grown-human-feces-and-watered-urine

      there is no evidence that garlic in China is fertilized in this fashion. In any case, there is no problem with this, human waste is as effective a fertilizer as is animal waste. Spreading human sewage on fields that grow crops doesn’t sound appealing, but it is safer than you might think.

      That would be my guess too at first glance. What do they think manure is if they’re grossed out at sewage? As long as it’s treated properly to reduce pathogens then it’s just “ew yucky I don’t like the real world”.

  • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    I went looking for stats because of this and apparently China grows 75 motherfucking percent of the world’s garlic. I knew we love garlic but I didn’t know we grew so much of it!

    China grows about 20 million tons, followed by India at about 3 million, then number three is Bangladesh with about half a million. America is number 11 with only 175k tons.

    I hope you Yanks enjoy your inevitable corn-based garlic-style seasoning powder soon.

  • ButtigiegMineralMap
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    1 year ago

    I’m glad this country is so stable that Fucking Garlic can strike fear into our hearts, great sign for us

    • relay
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      1 year ago

      These people are vampires.

      • kredditacc
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        1 year ago

        Vampires are often allegory for aristocrats, but I think they can represent capitalists as well, because both classes are parasites in their respective time periods.

        Is there any piece of media that depicts a vampire with capitalist aesthetic?

    • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I’m really trying not to make a joke about white people considering spices and aromatics a national security threat.

      • ButtigiegMineralMap
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        1 year ago

        Oddly enough, garlic was Mussolini’s favorite food, he would eat like 2-3 whole cloves of garlic with olive oil. What a fucking freak

        • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Garlic confit is the shit.

          Add a whole clove to a bowl and cover with olive oil, bake at 250 for a while and the garlic turns into basically a butter spread.

        • DamarcusArt
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          1 year ago

          Roasted garlic can be pretty nice though. I wouldn’t just eat it on it’s own though, it’s good as part of a meal.

      • PolandIsAStateOfMind
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        1 year ago

        Garlic don’t count. Idk about anglos but in continental Europe garlic is present in nearly every national cuisine, to a various degree.

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Food safety (…) is an existential emergency that poses (a) grave threat to our (…) economic prosperity

    Fixed to reflect the priorites of our corn syrup-based government

  • SpaceDogs
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    1 year ago

    So I’ve seen something like this on tiktok, weirdo food people were spreading propaganda that Chinese garlic was poisoned with bleach and that Chinese peeled garlic was peeled by mouth and therefore bacteria infested.

    • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      and that Chinese peeled garlic was peeled by mouth

      This might literally be the dumbest thing I’ve heard this month.

      • SpaceDogs
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        1 year ago

        It’s literally bonkers. They showed “footage” of this peeling process of women sitting on the floor peeling the garlic with their teeth, supposedly as it’s not confirmed that’s what they were doing. It’s not good footage and it’s clearly bullshit. Why the hell would one of the most technologically advanced nations peel garlic this way when we have better methods? I can peel garlic at home by shoving the cloves in a container, shaking it around a bit, and suddenly it’s peeled. Hell, even putting the cloves in hot water helps peel. It’s just turbo racism.

        • Adkml [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          1 year ago

          Sure they have some of the most complicated and refined recipes in the world, including spices that would literally put these chuds in the hospital, but the technique to peel garlic has somehow evaded them.

    • DamarcusArt
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      1 year ago

      It really frustrates me how people will believe anything about China, as long as it is a hateful and racist enough conspiracy theory.

  • BenEarlDaMarxist
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    1 year ago

    Y’know, the insults of calling the US run by “blood-sucking vampiric ghouls” or something similar, I never thought it could be close to literal, but here we are I guess.

  • Adhriva
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    1 year ago

    If garlic is such a threat to the American people, then why isn’t garlic (and other alliums) allergies covered by any overly priced health insurance plan I’ve seen?