What do you do that makes you feel happy? Just purely for the sake of it. If you don't have something, maybe you should. Having that source of joy is extremely important. It can be anything.
one of mine is instrumental music. vocals are overrated and distracting. I am also a hopeless romantic who probably reads about as many romance novels as a middle aged mom with marriage issues. Its disgusting, but it makes me happy lol.
Sending hugs to all you!
For example: I want to see a story about an old man from the red army going to the dark side of the moon to kick nazi ass (Because that's where they are hiding obvi). Just random shit like that, where socialist people, projects, themes, ideas, and histories are represented with pride and care. No hollywood anti-communist bullshit like Enemy at the Gates ([excellent critique of that movie here by a fellow communist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6y_TUoOdfQ)) and no stupid profit motive pushing artists past their ability or censoring their works unnecessarily to push deadlines.
The USSR would span its territories in the 80s but be led by a competent Marxist leninist party. Same for the Warsaw pact countries and Yugoslavia. These were caused by revolutions popping up all across the globe and other areas.
The US choice would have itself devolve into chaos while its power and influence decreases. Infighting would break the US into pieces but territories like hawaii and alaska would gain independence. The main government would be torn asunder and the CIA rogue and unfunded.