Somewhere in a far off dictatorship, a large altar stood in the middle of a lot of grass. It was magnificently tall, made of solid metal in the form of a step pyramid. Soviet soldiers lined its edges, but what was most defining was the massive spoon on top of it.
A single man appeared at the bottom of the pyramid. The soldiers began to cower in fear at the evil man, Dictator Joseph Stalin. He began deliberately climbing the steps.
One soldier shook a bit too hard while Stalin was passing. "Guards, shoot him!" he ordered.
Immediately the other guards turned on this man. Several bullets pierced him and he let out a cry of pain moments before he hit the ground.
With no regards to the man he had just killed, Stalin continued up the steps until he had reached the massive spoon at the top of the altar.
"Oh, it's beautiful," He said, as he gently caressed the hard metal. The spoon was bland and uninteresting, just like everything in the Soviet Union. Since they didn't enjoy art, this spoon was beauty to them.
Stalin lifted the massive spoon. Due to its antigravity, he could easily lift it. He lifted it until it was perpendicular to the ground, then rotated it, daring any to defy his authoritarian rule. As the soldiers continued to sweat, Stalin asked for his scientific advisor.
The advisor rushed to his side in his white coat. "Sir, the spoon is coated with antigravity gel, but it contains a button." He pointed at a small red button on the side of the spoon. "If you press it, the gravity filter will let grain through, allowing you to---"
He never got to finish his sentence. Stalin's pistol smoked, leaving the scientist dead on the floor, mouth open mid-sentence.
"You are useless to me now," Stalin said coldly. Then, he pressed the button and watched as the first pieces of grain flew towards his spoon.
TO BE CONTINUED
They’ve got enough divisions, now assign more to like close the gap to get all their equipment when they’re defeated!