No, are you? If so, how’s that experience like?
Hallucinations, demonic visions, trying to figure out what I said, did or happened and what hasn’t, paranoia and doing weird stuff to stop weirder stuff. I have other stuff with it too but I’ll give some examples, one time I felt like I had a tail like imagine having a 3rd leg behind you a few centimeters away just being there and wiggling or something, another one I one time I jumped to lay on my bed and during that air time I had visions of me falling through a black void with satanic figures floating around that felt like it laster for eternity, another instance is one time I completely left a friend I had for something they said then later I remembered the friend never said anything like that and I just thought he said it and I don’t even know what he said, also small stuff while going through daily life like leaves turning into ratoid things and moving or seeing faces get distorted to the point that you don’t recognize your own. I am not sure if all of these are schizophrenia stuff but I got diagnosed with it 2 years ago around this time of year
I was thinking around about the satanic visions bits and I think I cracked it, https://youtu.be/oneOy2VkmSY this vid scared me so much as a kid that I would cry so hard when someone scares me, my mom used tgis to get me to do chores or something and with everything in life feeling like a chore and being stuck on bed doing nothing awakened it or something I’m no expert
In my limited reading of psychology textbooks, they’ve found schizophrenia usually manifests in the early 20s (if it doesn’t, there’s a close to 0% chance you’re schizophrenic) and seems to be biological, i.e. DNA-based. IIRC people with schizophrenic family members are more likely to be schizophrenic themselves.
IIRC people with schizophrenic family members are more likely to be schizophrenic themselves.
1 uncle on mom’s side,2 on father’s and 5 cousins on both sides
And do these visions bother you? How do you become aware what you see is not “real” in the sense that it is not a shared experience with others?
Do I have to answer?
This sounds absolutely awful and debilitating, and I wish only the best for you moving forward. But having had some experience with the treatment of schizophrenic people, is it alright if I ask if you’ve been taking medication for this? It can be a night and day difference between symptoms and overall mental wellbeing, especially when coupled with therapy. I’m not sure of your exact situation, but it should be a good thing to work towards in terms of treatment. You can live your best life comrade.
I stopped taking them 2 years ago because my family doesn’t want to think of me like that
Please don’t give up medication. I’ve met schizophrenic people whom you would never know unless they told you and they said they owed it all to their medication. I can’t imagine going through the hallucinations you described, if medication helps you need to take it.
Your family doesn’t go through what you do, it’s frankly none of their business how you manage your own problems. Based on how it looks on them, from what I can tell? Only you know what’s best for you.
Please do not listen to them, this is an incredibly debilitating weight to carry on your back through your life, and this is not a problem that can simply be “pushed through”. They will most likely never understand the true nature of what is happening to you, and you cannot let that harm you. By not taking the medication your life will only be made progressively worse, which will lead to extremely high chances of co-morbid illnesses and suicide.
Again, I am unsure of your exact situation and opportunities, but I will urge you with all my heart to reach out to medical services and medical professionals in order to receive treatment for this. I promise that it will improve your life significantly, and you can leave the majority of these symptoms in the past like bad memories.
I’ll try what I can
I wish you luck with that. You can make it through this, you’ve got this.
No but I’ve worked with folks with all varieties of schizophreniform disorders. Was there something specific you were wondering about? Or just generally looking for people with similar experiences?
Trying to build an army from us
No but I’ve had hallucinations due to lack of sleep from drugs. Stuff like running away from a murderer stalking me while in reality there was no one. Having entire conversations with people while all of a sudden it turns out they are not there in the room. Hearing sounds that don’t make sense (like car horns or music in the shower).
Later in life I worked with a lot of schizophrenic people. It sounds scary when a person says that there is a guy with a knife in the corner of the room, but you quickly realize that what these people are seeing is a product of their disorder. Also, there’s this huge stigma on schizophrenia. They are just regular people with some issues. I wish that was more commonly known.
This is the reason extreme stimulant and psychoactive drugs terrify me. I have never done either, but being in a hospital setting and seeing people be absolutely deranged, trying to jump from 8th story windows, foaming at their mouth, having conversations with crowds of people who aren’t there, trying to tear their limbs off, going into psychosis, and becoming extremely paranoid during a bad trip… only to have them come down a day later and go back to being a harmless, sweet, and kind person. I can very easily see why ancient religions believed in demonic possessions, it’s a terrifying difference.
Uppers like cocaine and speed were my demons for a long time. I went without sleep for multiple days and eventually I´d end up deranged. I tried to combat it by taking sleeping pills every few days but that wasn’t ideal either. I’m not against drugs or something but I agree with your points. Really figure out if it’s worth it and know what the risks are before you do it.
Nah but I experience bad derealization too often.
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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, although I’m not sure how accurate the shrink was because she said the diagnosis was based mostly on negative symptoms. I don’t think I’ve ever actually had psychosis or delusions. Whether or not the diagnosis is right, I think I’m some kind of neurodivergent.
I’ve had a drug induced psychosis with demonic hallucinations and thoughts of being god, jesus, the devil, I’m fine now but I can appreciate how distressing and debilitating such things can be. The meds didn’t really help me but that doesn’t mean they can’t help you.
