It has been a full 20 minutes since the Chairman of the SeeSeePee has been spotted. More than 1,000 seconds have passed and there are rumors that he is in fact missing, most likely went into hiding after 4 people in Beijing complained about Covid restrictions not being enforced enough now. Is this the final collapse of Communist China’s authoritarian regime? Has Democracy finally prevailed? Perhaps it’s time to reunite diplomatic relations with ROC instead of PRC. And I…hold on a second….my friend at the America Burger Eagle institute says a picture has just been released of him just a second ago as CGTN released a new segment. His top info at the moment is that the Xi we are seeing is most likely a fake, a mere decoy. Look at how one of his hairs on his head is facing a few degrees upward instead of a fee degrees downward. HE JUST YAWNED! I’ve never seen the other Xi do that before, this one clearly doesn’t have his mannerisms down, an obvious and sad fake. Well, you heard it hear first folks, Xi Jinping is most likely in hiding or dead and the new fake Xi is a decent fake but not good enough for those with good eyes and good info. Keep spotting those tiny mistakes of his, patriots!

  • @201dberg
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    171 year ago

    My dog has gone missing. He left the room I’m in about 5 minutes ago. I fear he has been kidnapped by Chinese agents. I have not called him nor attempted to look for him. I can only imagine the horrors he is enduring.

    • Arsen6331 ☭
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      101 year ago

      I’m sorry to tell you that your dog is likely currently in a Xinjiang re-education camp being brainwashed by evil commies. If you ever see him again, you cannot trust him. He’ll probably be returned by the evil CCP after his brainwashing so that he can spy on you and turn you into an evil tankie.

  • @cayde6ml
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    131 year ago

    I took a shit this morning but now its gone. The horror! It was in my toilet, but after I pressed the button, it was gone. China must have taken my shit! I’m shrieking and shaking right now, Free Tie-Wan!

    • JucheBot1988
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      21 year ago

      China out here stealing American intellectual property.

  • @SomeGuy
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    61 year ago

    Holy shit, Juan Guido just declared himself interim president of the PRC.

  • JucheBot1988
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    41 year ago

    He’s in my kitchen, personally making sure there are no Uighurs or members of the persecuted billionaire minority hiding under the sink.