It has been a full 20 minutes since the Chairman of the SeeSeePee has been spotted. More than 1,000 seconds have passed and there are rumors that he is in fact missing, most likely went into hiding after 4 people in Beijing complained about Covid restrictions not being enforced enough now. Is this the final collapse of Communist China’s authoritarian regime? Has Democracy finally prevailed? Perhaps it’s time to reunite diplomatic relations with ROC instead of PRC. And I…hold on a second….my friend at the America Burger Eagle institute says a picture has just been released of him just a second ago as CGTN released a new segment. His top info at the moment is that the Xi we are seeing is most likely a fake, a mere decoy. Look at how one of his hairs on his head is facing a few degrees upward instead of a fee degrees downward. HE JUST YAWNED! I’ve never seen the other Xi do that before, this one clearly doesn’t have his mannerisms down, an obvious and sad fake. Well, you heard it hear first folks, Xi Jinping is most likely in hiding or dead and the new fake Xi is a decent fake but not good enough for those with good eyes and good info. Keep spotting those tiny mistakes of his, patriots!