• oktherebuddy@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    indistinguishable from me padding my quarterly review key deliverables summary

    “through various actions”

    “(action) to advance (good thing)”

    “improved (thing)”

    “took action to”

    “strengthened”

    “helped”

    also bragging about standing up for Israel lmfao

      • Muad'DibberOPA
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        6 months ago

        I hate that they’ve made us weaponize the soulless PR speak they invented against them, just to get a job.

    • Gay_Wrath [fae/faer]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      “through various actions”

      “(action) to advance (good thing)”

      “improved (thing)”

      “took action to”

      “strengthened”

      “helped”

      literally going to save this to pad my next review

      • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        Dot point list

        • strengthening
        • coordinating
        • driving
        • delivering
        • enhancing
        • reforming
        • Innovating
        • Implementing
        • Accelerating
        • Streamlining
        • Optimizing
        • Expanding
        • Transforming
        • Leading
        • Developing
        • Building
        • Maximizing
        • Facilitating
        • Elevating
        • Advancing
        • Integrating

        Then you start combining them until they mean nothing at all

        • leading the advancement of integration efforts to deliver streamlined reforms
        • strengthening the development of optimal implementation strategies to expand and enhance coordination
  • SUPAVILLAIN
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    6 months ago

    Tackled inflation & lowered costs

    Lemme just shell out 200 bucks for the store-brand variants of a week’s load of groceries that USED to cost 50 if I was getting the ritzy settler brands. And the lie detector test determined… That was a lie.

    Tackled the climate crisis

    Lemme just look outside and see how it was in the 60s where I’m at for Christmas. We used to be able to count on a foot of snow being on the ground by now. The lie detector test determined… That was a lie.

    Invested in Amerika and created good jobs

    Lemme just check Indeed, Monster, and my local temp agency real quick… And the lie detector test determined… That was a lie.

    Made Amerika safer from gun violence

    Cops done shot up MORE PEOPLE THAN THEY HAVE FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS THIS YEAR ALONE. And the lie detector test determined… That was a lie.

    Made higher education more affordable

    Where’s the debt forgiveness Joseph? And the lie detector test determined… That was a lie.

    Strengthened democracy at home and abroad

    You had hundreds of activists locked up between Palestinians and Black folk; more than half of them have been given RICO charges that will put them away for decades if not for the rest of their lives, and you claim you ‘strengthened DEMOCRACY’? CRACKER PLEASE.

    Confirmed highly qualified judges

    Uh… Where? Who?

    • DragonBallZinn [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      maybe-later-kiddo: “Stop with the purity tests, you know Joe Biden couldn’t do anything too ambitious or else he’d alienate whit-, I mean, the working class!”

  • iridaniotter [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    Yawn, read the Chinese President’s address instead.


    2023 MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS of the Xi-Han Administration

    ★ PREVENTED INFLATION & LOWERED COSTS

    Consumer and wholesale prices fell, avoiding the years-long inflationary and cost-of-living crisis present in the rest of the world.

    ★ TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS

    Installed 230 GW of wind and solar power - double that of the US and EU combined. The world’s first pebble-bed gas-cooled high-temperature nuclear reactor entered commercial service. The number of electric vehicle charging stations reached 100,000 with 33% in rural areas. Despite high power consumption increases of nearly 10% year-on-year, the country is set to reach peak carbon emissions ahead of schedule.

    ★ PREVENTED A REAL ESTATE CRISIS

    The ongoing property sector crisis continues to be managed, preventing Japan-like stagnation.

    ★ OVERSAW INNOVATION-DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT

    The C919 large passenger airplane entered commercial service. The Chinese-built large cruise ship completed its trial voyage, and the Shenzhou spaceships are continuing their missions in space. Further advances in the domestic semiconductor industry have been made.

    ★ STRENGTHENED MULTILATERAL INSTITUTIONS

    Various international trade deals were denominated in local currencies. Several more countries were invited to join BRICS.


    and so on and so forth, etc. etc. I only have my laptop and can’t use my right pointer finger so I’m pretty tired of navigating the internet and typing lol

    • invo_rt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      6 months ago

      I literally watched Xi’s address last night and was blown away by the use of examples of actual, concrete things done and not just lofty rhetoric about shit like “the promise of America” and “the shape of our democracy”.

      xi-cooking

      • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        I hate “optimistic” documentaries made by liberals because it was always ends with some shit like “even though our country is deeply divided, at the end of the day, we’re Americans. And Americans want to protect our freedoms and democracy. We’ll get there, but we have to work together.”

        And throughout the documentary it’s just some bourgeois asshole naval gazing at poor people.

    • Muad'DibberOPA
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      6 months ago

      Last night I was with mostly liberals, so they wanted to watch the Times square ball drop. Even they had to admit it was the most depressing, ad-ridden joke of a tradition. Watching Xi’s calming, and uplifting new year address this morning is the best detox for it.

      • invo_rt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        6 months ago

        Same. I watched the ball drop with a bunch of people and everyone brought up how nearly every inch of the screen was covered in ads not to mention planet fitness’ brand colors drive the aesthetic for everyone there. It’s just a sea of purple and yellow.

  • SoyViking [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    Here’s a list of all the things I people hate me for failing to do. People are going to love me if I just lie through my teeth and claim I did an awesome job on all of them

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    invested in America & created good jobs

    Did Nathan Felder write this?

    MADE AMERICA SAFER FROM GUN VIOLENCE

    About 1,000 less deaths than last year. Lol

    The proposed law would restrict federal funding to states that didn’t comply. Red states took it to court, and Biden threw in the towel and added “exemptions” to the states.

    The legislation never received a vote in the Senate.

  • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago

    man really posted he solved the climate crisis and legalised abortion in amerikkka
    https://twiiit.com/POTUS/status/1741206275055034388
    this is a list of things that sound good, and then an explanation about how the claims fall short

    TACKLED THE CLIMATE CRISIS
    wrote “the climate crisis” on the ground and then tripped on it

    PROTECTED ACCESS TO REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE
    by making sure hospital doors are unlocked during business hours

    ACHIEVED WORLD PEACE
    uniting it in hatred towards me

    CONVERTED USA TO 150% RENEWABLE ENERGY
    technically fossil fuels are renewable on a long enough time span

    CURED CANCER
    made crab jerky

    HOUSED ALL THE HOMELESS
    by throwing them all in prison

    GAVE EVERY CITIZEN $2,000,000
    in tax breaks if they donate to my campaign

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    6 months ago
    1. No you didn’t

    2. No, you most certainly didn’t (although to be fair no one president can do this)

    3. Ok, the high speed rail stuff is pretty cool. I’m in a good mood, so you get one.

    4. No you didn’t

    5. Wasn’t there more mass shootings in 2023 than days?

    6. Could have fooled me

    7. Yeah, you ‘spoke out’ against it. But no one listened.

    8. None of that is relevant thanks to the supreme court, and democrats would never use the GOP tactics of putting their alleged ideological loyalties as upmost priority.