I was getting dressed to vote Blue to SAVE AMERICA today and suddenly as I put on my Biden tee and laced up my Buttigieg shoes and donned my Obama cap, I heard a loud zap sound in my ears and a bright flash! Someone yelled in Spanish outside my window whispering loudly saying “Zap him, now!” and I was SO close to spotting the assailant, and I searched to no avail. The Cuban trickster is gone and just like that I can’t vote today. I’m tired from not getting nearly enough sleepHavana Syndrome, I’ve lost all faith in American democracy and I feel like I need PTO and alcohol. Man, this is awful 😞! If anyone tells you that CIA agents are faking, lemme tell ya you can’t make this up. I felt so sick that I even took off my Buttigieg shoes, resigning myself to a day of rest and sleep. Oh I DO hope I can get better today and VOTE but the authoritarian Commie Regime decided to Silence me! Don’t let this happen to you too! [Pictured above👆,Me suffering from Havana Syndrome, Warning not for the faint of heart. /s]
I think I have Havana Syndrome too; what is it called when you look out the window and everything is gray and cold and wet and drab and when you get out from work it’s already nighttime, and it goes to your head because November has only just started and then there’s five whole other fucking months with an R in them ahead of you and you could really use a goddamn trip to Havana?