How do you combat dysphoria in order to be yourself? I find myself struggling to dress the way I want to, love the way I want to, and even try makeup because I constantly get a sudden overflow of dysphoria. I can do things for an hour at most until I feel completely shattered. I struggle to combat internalised transphobia too.

Idk, I just feel so stuck and alone in this battle to liberate myself sometimes. I know I have so much potential but my dysphoria shuts me down completely.

There’s also some dysmorphia that may be at play. Not being able to really know what I look like fucks with me to an immense level.

  • commet-alt-w
    6•2 years ago

    doing things alone is really hard. some good advice i see passed around is, /find your tribe/. that advice still feels so impossible and far away for me in a meatspace physical reality way, but even the strangers i’ve connected with and spent time with in the streets, of all shades and colours have meant so much to me, and genuinely improve my mental well being. maybe for me it’s like finding ephemeral tribes that constantly pop up and dissolve all in one wild night.

    the other thing i’d like to mention is, it’s good to question if you are forcing stuff or rushing into things. that alone is a cause of all kinds of stress which for me would definitely lead to dysphoria, among other things, especially when diving into new territory.

    then, one of my criticisms of western liberal trans identity is that it tends to paint womanhood as this 1950’s plastic stepford wives kind of vibe. it can become such a fake superficial feminism that’s not healthy

    • ⚧️TheConquestOfBed♀️
      9•2 years ago

      then, one of my criticisms of western liberal trans identity is that it tends to paint womanhood as this 1950’s plastic stepford wives kind of vibe.

      That whole aesthetic is kinda dying with gen-x/older millenials and shifting specifically to transmed conservative circles. Most young transfems these days tend to get into anime junk which can have an equally weird effect on self-perception.

      The obsessiveness with diminuitive features gets a lot of people stuck in a limbo of “I wouldn’t be pretty enough anyway” and then they go back into egg-mode for a while. I think some of them get courage from seeing RL transition results from living people or getting encouragement from people who care about them, as you said with the ‘find your tribe’ thing.

      But there’s also a large contingent of people (esp influenced by tumblr culture) who are just like “fuck it, I’m gonna be goblingender now” or whatever. Being nonbinary or identifying with some unconventional gender is less stigmatized, at least in lgbt circles. Even just joking about xenogenders takes some of the edge of performativity off. Like if you’re aiming to look like a raccoon, and you tell everyone you’re aiming to look like a raccoon, the straights will just be like static noises, but queer people will come out of the woodwork like SOUNDS LIKE A VIBE/SOUNDS HOT BE THE BEST RACCOON YOU CAN BE. Being a Gender Accelerationist, myself, I think this kind of positivity is neat. Trying to fit neatly into the male/female box only causes problems, even for cis people.