sometimes ashley

She/Her

🇨🇺 🇨🇳 🇻🇳 🇱🇦 🇰🇵 🏳️‍⚧️

A perfect moment in a flash of light

discord: autumn shadow#0666

matrix: ashley:genzedong.org

reddit: u/based_grandma69

  • 83 Posts
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Joined 1Y ago
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Cake day: Jan 11, 2022

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cw: child abuse, sex work, suicide, drugs

Growing up, my family was in a religious cult (a literal cult I am not embellishing at all) and I got abused by members of that group. At a young age it was pretty obvious that something was weird about me (I am trans) and so my family put me through conversion therapy twice (imagine this like a combination between torture and mindfulness training designed to change your gender). That obviously didn’t work, so they threw me out when I was 15 (yes that is illegal but I was a homeless trans teenager who was I supposed to go to for help?).

I dropped out of school and worked on a fishing boat as a cook/deckhand during the fishing season and had to resort to sex work and off/on homelessness in the off season. While homeless, I would often post up in the library to charge me phone or if it was raining. This is where I first read the Manifesto and State and Rev. I also got addicted to heroin and was in and out of jail in that time.

Obviously being at the ass end of a neoliberal capitalist hellscape does things to you. It was pretty easy for me to look around and see that the structures of power were all designed to oppress me. My family had taught me the bullshit line that “hard work” would make me succeed but of course, that’s all bullshit. I watched a lot of my friends die during this time and it cemented in my mind the necessity for change. I saw the politicians and developers working together to destroy my friends’ neighbourhoods.

I eventually got lucky, through a weird ass turn of events I ended up working for a construction company and eventually joined an electrician apprenticeship. Now I’m secure financially and have a good life, but a lot of my friends never made it.

I know nothing about me is better, smarter, “harder working”, or anything else than my friends who didn’t/don’t make it. A combination of the fact that I’m white and just random chance kept me safe through something horrible that kills a lot of people. Most aren’t so lucky.

Realising this, my view has never shifted. I was a Marxist-Leninist reading theory homeless in a library at 17 and I am a Marxist-Leninist today leading a theory group with my friends. Once you have experienced losing everything, you never feel secure again. Even today, I am constantly terrified of losing my job and ending up on the street. A feeling most my coworkers can’t even imagine.

That is why I continue to struggle, organise, educate, and try to help people towards MLism.


I could write an entire other thing on how LA stole all the water from the Owens valley and basically killed an entire agricultural region off. They’re getting ready to do the exact same thing to the San Joaquin valley but I don’t wanna do a writeup in defence of White farmers in the valley given they are basically settlers and to this day they oppress tf out of immigrant labour. A fight between the reactionary city libs and the reactionary (mostly White) rural farm owners is a fight i truly do not give a fuck about. It’s kind of a “play stupid games win stupid prizes” moment


they have such a long history of this. they did this massive to the Black community some decades ago, moving a lot of them up to the desert so they could gentrify neighbourhoods and build more freeways. the defence industry was supposed to provide all these great jobs for everybody in the desert, but they didn’t and basically the high desert region just because even poorer and more disaffected.

they’re doing it again btw. the new mayor has the cops telling unhoused people to move up to the desert and guess what? i have something like 50 solar plants i manage in that area and now all the wire has been stolen from nearly all of them because the cops sent a bunch of unhoused people to camp up there with no resources and they’re desperate.

which is funny lol. we have insurance, i don’t care if they wanna steal our wire, but that being said, it’s extremely dangerous for them to be doing that and I’m really afraid i’m gonna find a dead person who got electrocuted someday


It’s really interesting. I have lived here for a long time, and I have lived in different major cities in the state. I was here in 2020 when we were getting arrested protesting, and I have supported strikes and done other on-the-ground organising with the org i used to be a part of.

I think it’s really important to remember that the vast majority of the people in this city, by population, are struggling working class, non-white people. The people who hold power are viscious liberals who engage in the some of the most naked cutthrought neoliberal politics imaginable, but the people are not. I think that most of the population in the cities is not inherently reactionary. There’s just nobody who has presented them with a coherent left wing project so most of them are just disaffected and not engaged politically.

Among people in my social circle (20-30 year old queer people) the realities of the US’s criminal history aren’t controversial. The problem I run into is more the indoctrination against “authoritarianism” which everybody gets a healthy dose of in school, that being said, if you bring up the Black Panthers, it’s pretty easy to get people on board because everybody respects what that group did.

I guess what I’m saying, is that I feel it’s much easier to organise a large volume of struggling warehouse/service industry workers than it is to organise the rural folks who are still in complete denial about the genocide and imperialism they are directly benefitting from. People in the city benefit from it t0o, but it’s much easier to get them to understand and reckon with that whereas the rural folks seem to be more strongly attached to the myth of personal success and more invested in reaction.

My point is, a united front against fascism could be organised across tendency boundaries in the city. There are people doing this work, but it’s hard and we need more.


I was ranting abt this this morning so I thought I'd make a post abt it. I know everybody probably knows all this but I just wanted to write it. The city of Los Angeles was, as with most of the US, built upon the genocide of non white people, but the degree to which is completely obscene and not talked abt in American education. Long before any europeans came to California, the site of downtown LA was home to a massive Native American settlement called Yaanga. It was considered one of the most important trading posts in the southwest and people as far away as Yuma, AZ (several hundred miles) knew of a giant tree which stood at the heart of it. And then the Spanish came. The spanish created what should really be known as a concentration camp but is called a Mission and rounded up the Native Americans to work in it in slavery. Using this labour, they built what would before the first city of Los Angeles. After the Spanish-Mexican war, the land was sold to developers and the village forcibly evicted across the river. Never ones to be outdone in a genocide, the Americans took the city in the mid 1800s. While the Spanish had had a program of forced-assimilation, elimination, and slavery, the Americans just insituted a program of elimination. The first governor of California said "that a war of extermination will continue to be waged between the races until the Indian race becomes extinct must be expected." The Americans paid bounties, subsidised by the federal government, to anybody who killed Native Americans. The Los Angeles City Council approved the burning of the Native American settlement to the ground one night. Most of the people moved throughout the city into improvised living encampments near where they worked (unpaid Native American labour was still heavily relied on by the early city). This was also around the height of Chinese migration to California. Chinese immigrants were housed in a dedicated part of the city near where the Native Americans had once been forced to live. This area became Chinatown which today is all good and wholesome 💯 reddit chungus. However the Americans hated the Chinese too. In fact, Chinese Americans were not allowed to be buried properly at all and were instead dumped into unmarked mass graves. After railroad construction was finished, the new train station was constructed with the goal of eliminating Chinatown from the city. The LA Times said: "Union Station would not be built in the "midst of Chinatown" but rather would "forever do away with Chinatown and its environs."" Today, as the city builds its new subway lines, bones of Chinese and Native American victims of American genocide are unearthed. So many people were killed that nobody even knows where they are. Anyways, that's enough out of me, but growing up here, they would take us on tours of these spanish slave camps "Missions" and be like, "oh look they taught the Natives to read!!! how wholesome!!!" The American education system does a shit job of informing people about the bloody history that occured, in many cases, right under our feet where we go about our lives today. I know everybody here knows this, but holy fuck is it disturbing.

yup. it’s really sad, and it’s also terrifying to me as a minority person

edit: i should mention that a LOT of countries sterilise trans people. like, it’s a requirement to transition in a LOT of places


I posted about this on one of my subreddits too. Time to get the ban hammer out for the comment section


There is a eugenics org in the US that sterilises people with addiction issues
*cw: addiction, suicide, eugenics* Big surprise! They sterilise People of Colour at twice the rate of the average population! ![](https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/45a3ef5d-08ad-47dd-b4b4-bee6196d5ec7.png) The liberal media mostly loves this. They have received glowing praise from the LA Times, NPR, and other American state media. [It is funded by a right wing oil billionaire. ](https://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconnor/2010/10/19/right-wing-billionaire-sponsors-sterilization-for-drug-addicts/?sh=45c82d1337e8) Perfect example of neoliberalism creating the material conditions for a problem to *exist in the first place* then "solving" it by depriving the victims of their rights. When I was struggling with heroin addiction, I remember seeing their advert at the syringe exchange. They offered me $200 to get sterilised. A person who is poor, addicted, and in this position can't properly consent to something like that when they need that money to survive. Overall, I find this disgusting asf. It reminds me of the Canadian thing where they incentivise disabled people to kill themselves. Once again a glaring reminder that capitalism is in fact, a death cult. **Edit:** I wanted to add this quote from the person who started this organisation: *"We don’t allow dogs to breed. We spay them. We neuter them. We try to keep them from having unwanted puppies, and yet these women are literally having litters of children"*



uwu i’m still here! i’ve been going through all kinds of shit lately changing jobs and stuff lol. i have neglected my online duties




could it be true!!!?! sources told us comrade Blahaj has recently been hoisted to leadership by the Workers' Party!!

akbjwebjkraslbjkdfg ughhhhh idk if anybody else took this arduous thing but it's got some moments. the political spread it asked me to chose was very silly. that being said, it did ask a lot of questions abt trans descrimination and stuff as well as questions abt stuff like detransitioning n all that. i think it's kinda important that people take it? idk. [here's that survey](https://www.ustranssurvey.org/) it takes forever but it does provide important statistics. if you're in the US, check it out



lmfao iirc those semi-auto bullpup shotguns have mags that fit vials of estradiol i think a 12ga shell and a vial of EV are about the same diameter

uwu


I will share a little bit about myself since it’s relevant. Some of this may be triggering btw.

I knew I was trans when I was about 5 years old. My family was involved in a fundamentalist religious cult and they were (and still are) violently transphobic. I didn’t know what trans even was, I just knew I was a girl. After repeatedly getting caught wearing girl’s clothing my parents sent me to a conversion therapy camp. Think of that as like a torture facility to make you cisgender. After that didn’t work twice, they kicked me out when I was 15. I struggled with homelessness and drugs for years after that doing whatever I had to to get by working on fishing boats and doing sex work.

When I was 22 I decided to repress again. I started preventing as male and using my old name, and got a job that led to a stable career. At that time I decided I would never try transitioning again because it was too dangerous and it would impact my living situation again.

A year ago at 29 I finally felt secure enough to transition. I started hrt, changed my name, all that. Now I’ve been transitioned for a year. I’m at a place in life where my material conditions are pretty good and I’m far happier than I’ve ever been. Many of the people around don’t even know I’m trans or that I was ever a guy lol.

I can’t possibly express how much I never thought I would get to transition. My family never changed, they still hate me but I have a new family of queer comrades and friends I’ve made. Discrimination isn’t as bad as I thought but that’s mostly because many people just don’t know I’m trans (misogyny sucks tho but it’s not as dangerous here as transphobia).

Idk how I ever lived before. My point is that, whatever happens, please know you have friends and support here, and you never know how life may change some day.

My matrix and discord are in my bio if you ever need to talk <3


It’s a good idea. I have a buffer of about 1 year worth of HRT on hand at all times. Supplies longer than 1-2 years start getting tricky cause of expiration dates n shit tho


lmfao tbh i stockpile both ammo and HRT for my comrades :3


oh of course. people say shit like “well those two are practically republicans” as if it’s some excuse for them when really it’s like discipline your party. i don’t care if it’s hard for the voters in west virginia to stomach this shit is actually important, but nah.

nah they just tell us to send money to defeat X republican in Y state meanwhile the democrats spend millions of dollars pushing the absolute most reactionary shit there is to shift the window so far right that they can continue doing nothing and calling it progress meanwhile my comrades are dying


lo siento. it’s fucking terrifying



correct. it is split 50/50 however the dems also hold the presidency so the VP could break a senate tie making it 51/50. there’s nothing stopping them from doing that other than that they don’t give a fuck


ya that’s definitely valid and i usually do the same thing on a local level. i just don’t think it’s good for “revolutionary” orgs to make it their messaging to vote for dems


idfk i usually do one of a few things

sometimes i write in Juan Guiado (if the US loves him so much, then they can elect him)

sometimes i write in a nice encouraging note to the ballot counter (“you are a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day” this does two things, it’s super annoying cause it has to be manually reviewed, and also maybe some random person will smile)

sometimes when it’s like a local election there’s actually a tiny bit of incremental good that can happen so i vote for those sometimes like in a school board situation where there’s someone who will do a better free lunch program or something small like that

hoenstly this year i just threw the entire ballot in the trash. i’m too discouraged to even go through it


VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTE!!!
Well, once again it's voting day in Burgerland. Once again the electoralists are crying and urging us to dutifully head to the polls and throw in our lots. One again certain leftist orgs are selling out their "revolutionary" values and pandering to reformism. Here we are. According to a UN report released 2 months ago, 2022 has been a year of unprecedented regression of LGBT rights in the United States. The blue party holds the presidency, as well as both houses of congress, and across the nation, reactionaries have never before gained more ground in their bloody war on the LGBT, women, and all other minorities. Yet the "harm reduction" advocates are still barking at us. Make no mistake, if voting costs little effort for you personally, and you can materially improve the conditions in your local area, you should be all means. That being said, the leaders of certain "leftist" orgs in the US have been pushing a hard "vote blue" campaign on a national level and when they do this, they directly undermine our struggle. While it's fine and good for you and I to go to the polls and try to keep murderous anti-trans people off the school board, when a national organisation with supposedly "Marxist-Leninist" intentions expends its energy urging the masses toward electoral solutions, they are directly undermining the process of left wing radicalisation. Comrades, it's easy for the, mostly cis-het white men, who run some of these orgs to do this. They aren't dying. Their material interests are better served by preserving respectability and stability in society than they would be by agitating for revolution. Every time they use their platforms to urge voting, they are demonstrating to the not-yet-radicalised that electoralism may still be the solution. Their "harm reduction" strategy doesn't even bear fruits anymore, meanwhile our fellow LGBT and other minority comrades are dying. I strongly urge you to join whatever organisations you can and struggle against these electoralist currents. One of the hardest struggles we face is getting people to look beyond the ballot box for solutions to the threats they face, and without us advocating militant, principled, and revolutionary action, we're just running out the clock at the cost of our comrades lives. Stay safe. uwu

sometimes ashley
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tbh the true value of 20 yards of linen is only realised when it’s made into thigh highs


sometimes ashley
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one day soon we shall all have unlimited thigh highs

soon comrade, soon


sometimes ashley
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nevermind my experience as a trans women working in heavy industry that has shown me that most of the proletariat is basically just fine with trans people


sometimes ashley
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omg same lol


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hell yes!! that’s so great. it made me so happy when I got mine.

(I even sent a photo of mine to transphobic family members to spite them uwu)


epically based. I need one too. the need for snuggles is immense this time of year!!



sometimes ashley
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alright, here is what I will do. for the time being, I will make the archive available in an sqlite format. it will have text and comments + URLs for videos and images

in a second archive I will include images by submission I’d

in a third archive I will place videos

I should have time to get it together and up on my site during the last week of this month>


probably going to do the lemmy archive community idea. i could provide it as a download, but it would be massive lol, it’s a lot of content.


ya it would but i’m a terrible web admin so we’ll see if it happens lol


of course!


epically based! yes indeed


lol sorry about that. i just realised this.

it’s easier to reach me on matrix btw @ashley:genzedong.org


I used to but I stopped hosting it because it was clunky (i wrote it in PHP lmfao)

I think a lemmy instance would be much nicer looking. I think either a GZD archive community here or a dedicated archive instance that is federated would be nice.


**I have launched a trans matrix space to be adjacent to this community. you can find it on the genzedong.org homeserver.** #tc-welcome:genzedong.org if you find that room, please introduce yourself and you will be invited into the private space i am excited to build a community like this on a platform that isn't discord!! *actual photo of me and the gals setting up the homeserver*
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Hi everybody!! I have the archive of everything ever posted on r/GenZedong, and I would like to eventually get it online for when the subreddit eventually gets banned (inevitable lol). would people use it? do people want it? what does everybody think? uwu (actual photo of me at the genzedong archive)
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it does and federation is working


i wonder how long before some redditors start fucking with it


ya, i’ve thought about doing that but it kind of defeats the point of using matrix. im still undecided on it


yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


**As of yesterday, GenZedong now has its own Matrix homeserver!** genzedong.org We're beginning creating a matrix space on this homeserver. Hopefully in a week or so that will be ready to launch! If anybody has ideas or contributions, please let me know!!

tysm to u/Ancient_Might_5820 for suggesting the picture!!!


Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/genzedong) I promise I’ll work on Element soon uwu

agree. this reads like something our extended family would send us



absolute uncritical support


[Cuba grew up with Family Code, Diaz-Canel states](https://cubasi.cu/en/news/cuba-grew-family-code-diaz-canel-states) The new Cuban Family Code, which will grant equal rights regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity (in addition to other things) is being voted on. [Here is the official mini-site from the Communist Party of Cuba](https://www.granma.cu/codigo-de-las-familias) Check it out! <3

Hi! The goal of this thread is to provide a place for people to share small things, small questions, vents, things you wouldn’t make an entire post for or that might be slightly off topic :) Please feel free to use it as a general discussion place for anything trans related! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/genzedong) I promise I’ll work on Element soon uwu

General Discussion Thread Juche 111 Week 38
Hi! The goal of this thread is to provide a place for people to share small things, small questions, vents, things you wouldn’t make an entire post for or that might be slightly off topic :) Please feel free to use it as a general discussion place for anything trans related! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord I promise I’ll work on Element soon uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/genzedong) I promise I’ll work on Element soon uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/genzedong) *I promise I’ll work on Element soon* uwu

Hi! The goal of this thread is to provide a place for people to share small things, small questions, vents, things you wouldn't make an entire post for or that might be slightly off topic :) Please feel free to use it as a general discussion place for anything trans related! ![](https://lemmygrad.ml/pictrs/image/034588a9-5a93-4e4d-9e62-411f9dc89dfc.png)

North American Imperialism and Our Struggle
I have written about this before, but it has been on my mind as of late. As the rights of myself and many of my trans comrades in the United States continue to deteriorate, my mind goes to this story from years ago. In 2011 the US government was exposed for funding and otherwise propping up LGBT rights groups in Cuba as part of an effort to disseminate American propaganda and stir up general disorder against the Cuban government. As we all know, Cuba is a global leader in LGBT rights, particular stellar among AES. Through substantial efforts for many years, Cuba has made massive strides in achieving rights for all people and this makes it a particularly hypocritical target for the yankees. Let me be clear, the weaponisation of our rights by the US hurts us all, but it hurts out trans comrades in the global south even more. As the US attempts to use our rights as a weapon with which to damage the popularly supported government of Cuba (they do the same to China), people around the world come to associate trans rights with Western imperialism. This unfortunate situation makes the struggle our comrades in these countries face even harder. While the United States continues to strip away the rights of its own LGBT population, it fosters global reaction against our struggle through its own imperialism. It truly is one of the greatest opposing forces to human rights in the world.

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! [Join our discord](https://discord.gg/GenZedong) *I promise I'll work on Element soon* We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. [Check it out!](https://discord.gg/Mppdcmgurq) uwu

Hi everybody! It's been a while since this community was established and well, it's grown and come to be a thing on its own. c/GenZedong is a lot more than a mirror of a subreddit now, and as such, we would love to have more moderator involvement from the community. If you are interested in becoming a moderator here, please reply to this post, message me here or any of the platforms in my bio. It's a pretty light moderation workload, but it's important that this place reflect all of those who participate so much in making it awesome :) Thanks!

Hi everybody! If you don't know me, I'm Zoe. I'm a 23 year old trans girl from the US. To encourage more development of this community, I would like to ask if anybody here is interested in moderating it and helping it grow. I am going to devote more time to it personally as I think it's super important we have a vibrant trans community here :) but I'd also like to engage other people who are here! Please send me a message or comment on this post if you would like. Thanks! uwu
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UwU
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Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord https://discord.gg/GenZedong We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/Mppdcmgurq Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord https://discord.gg/GenZedong We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/Mppdcmgurq Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord https://discord.gg/GenZedong We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/Mppdcmgurq Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

General Discussion Thread Juche 111 Week 30
Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord https://discord.gg/GenZedong We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Discord!
We now have a new discord for this community! [You can join it here!](https://discord.gg/genzedong) If you are wondering what happened with the old one, you can read all about it in there. A lot of people have joined already, and we're excited about it, so please check it out!
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Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! Join our discord https://discord.gg/QA72fD89hb We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu

Welcome again to everybody! Make yourself at home <3 In the time honoured tradition of our group, here is our weekly discussion thread! We are excited to announce a new discord server for Trans Communists. Check it out! https://discord.gg/WqcjV2sZ Also check out our telegram https://t.me/real_genzedong! uwu