My biggest problem is how damn patronising they are. They intentionally slow you down explaining everything in excruciating detail, and you’re not allowed to skip it or continue with the actual checking out until it’s done talking.
“Welcome to X Store self checkout! Please hold the barcode of your first item to the scanner below!”
“Please put your item in the bagging area! Then, scan your next item by holding the barcode to the scanner below!”
“Please select payment method by selecting debit, credit, cash, or gift card using the touch screen!”
“If you have a points card, please scan it by holding the barcode up to the scanner below! If you do not have a points card, please press skip on the touch screen! If you would like to register for a points card, please go to customer service!”
“Please follow instructions on the pinpad! Or, if you’d like to choose another payment method, please press ‘choose another payment method’ on the touch screen, and select another payment method!”
All in that grating, artificially cheerful monotone.
Look, I know it’s to help the elderly and people who genuinely don’t know how to use it, but fucking just give me a “I know what I’m doing so skip all the bullshit” button!
My only issue with self-checkouts is how awkward and a pain in the ass it is when you got a lot of stuff in your cart.
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“Unexpected item in bagging area! Please remove item!”
“Item unexpectedly removed from bagging area! Please wait for an attendant to assist you!”
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I have ptsd from that phrase
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“I BEGETH OF YOU, RETURNETH THINE OWN BAG”
quothe the checkout: “Unexpected item in bagging area! Please remove item!”
FUCKETH THOU
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arson is a thought
make it your theory
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Even Lenin couldn’t anticipate
Find that mute button, fam
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My biggest problem is how damn patronising they are. They intentionally slow you down explaining everything in excruciating detail, and you’re not allowed to skip it or continue with the actual checking out until it’s done talking.
“Welcome to X Store self checkout! Please hold the barcode of your first item to the scanner below!”
“Please put your item in the bagging area! Then, scan your next item by holding the barcode to the scanner below!”
“Please select payment method by selecting debit, credit, cash, or gift card using the touch screen!”
“If you have a points card, please scan it by holding the barcode up to the scanner below! If you do not have a points card, please press skip on the touch screen! If you would like to register for a points card, please go to customer service!”
“Please follow instructions on the pinpad! Or, if you’d like to choose another payment method, please press ‘choose another payment method’ on the touch screen, and select another payment method!”
All in that grating, artificially cheerful monotone.
Look, I know it’s to help the elderly and people who genuinely don’t know how to use it, but fucking just give me a “I know what I’m doing so skip all the bullshit” button!
Hmmm the ones I’ve used don’t give any bullshit about bagging area. Guess I’ll be thankful.