Ablebodied peoples idea of what ableism is is so performative and out of touch

Like they’ll tone police but won’t wear a fucking mask

I talked with some union people at my workplace, and I asked them if they plan to resist the full return to office that is coming. I shit you not, they welcomed the news (they were clueless) because “we will communicate and work better” [sic].

They only really care about their higher wages and people like me can fuck off and die I guess. I don’t know why I expected solidarity from neurotypicals. It’s shit like this that completely discourages me from organizing

I am currently in “dead fish flopping about gasping for air” mode. I’m lying flat almost all hours of the day unless I manage to somehow force myself into a sitting position (usually just to eat food). I’ve been skipping most of my classes because I’m too tired to crawl out of bed, let alone get myself across campus and into a chair where I have to sit upright for over an hour. I’m brain fogged to the point where trying to do anything besides watching mindless videos is too much exertion for me. I hate this so much. I feel utterly useless because in my current state, I essentially am useless. Every day is a drag yet also too quick at the same time. I just wish I had my old energy back.

Living is a job I can’t clock out of why is everything so hard

I want all “it was just a prank” excuses to be invalid forever. It has ableist implications IF it is genuine, which it NEVER EVER IS, so its just reactionaries being cowards

I hate being reminded of the fact that I can’t perform fine motor functions. I’ve gotten used to it when journaling, even though I can’t really read my handwriting, but I was trying to do a lab today and just kept fumbling and messing up the setup. I couldn’t help but constantly apologize to my lab partners almost constantly, and once they finished with their portions they had to help with mine, and I essentially had to step back and do other parts of the lab work. Ugh

Too autistic for the autistics strikes again

Hi y’all

deleted by creator

u receive : back problems & nerve pain

i receive : hug

the doctor agreed that EDS testing was worthwhile and referred me to a geneticist 🎉

and I only cried a little bit during the appointment so 🎉🎉🎉 😂

she was mostly very nice, but there were a couple of moments where I could feel her getting skeptical and I started getting overwhelmed, and I’m very glad I had the pleasantly stoic @shadowinlight@hexbear.net along to jump in to help explain things

My workplace intends to enforce full return to office to improve our discipline, meaning no scheduled remote days but we might be able to get some as needed? Not clear enough.

This is probably going to destroy me, I don’t know if it is some autism sensitivity but office days tire me to the extent that even with 3/5, I often feel so miserable that I take a paid leave just to not go there. I don’t understand how neurotypicals do it every day, it seems impossible to me

Unfortunately I don’t have the energy to put together some info for the mega this week

If you want I’ve just uploaded the audiobook version of Exile and Pride Disability, Queerness, and Liberation by Eli Clare to TankieTube and there’s a PDF copy of the book available here. I haven’t read it yet but it looks interesting.

Here’s the publisher’s synopsis:

First published in 1999, the groundbreaking Exile and Pride is essential to the history and future of disability politics. Eli Clare’s revelatory writing about his experiences as a white disabled genderqueer activist/writer established him as one of the leading writers on the intersections of queerness and disability and permanently changed the landscape of disability politics and queer liberation. With a poet’s devotion to truth and an activist’s demand for justice, Clare deftly unspools the multiple histories from which our ever-evolving sense of self unfolds. His essays weave together memoir, history, and political thinking to explore meanings and experiences of home: home as place, community, bodies, identity, and activism. Here readers will find an intersectional framework for understanding how we actually live with the daily hydraulics of oppression, power, and resistance. At the root of Clare’s exploration of environmental destruction and capitalism, sexuality and institutional violence, gender and the body politic, is a call for social justice movements that are truly accessible to everyone. With heart and hammer, Exile and Pride pries open a window onto a world where our whole selves, in all their complexity, can be realized, loved, and embraced.

If you like the sound of it, you’re welcome to copy this along with the links into the body of your post as a substitute for other content. If you do I’ll delete this comment so it’s not clogging up the mega unnecessarily.

I can’t believe this. I’m booked in to have a minor surgery on my feet to clear up infected skin that has failed to respond to other treatments. It’s on the NHS so the surgery is free, but they just told me I have to pay for a pack of dressings to take home (as the wound needs the dressing changed every day and the pack apparently contains something to keep the dressings dry in the shower.) This pack is bloody £37, and I have to buy two as both my feet are having the surgery. I can’t be the only one who thinks these packs should be free along with the surgery? And where am I supposed to get £74 while going through a benefit appeal? Just when I think life can’t get worse, it finds a way. Being ill/disabled is so bloody expensive!

Really feeling the call of the abyss lately. How can I have hope for anything when we can’t clear the very simple bar of pandemic mitigation? I’m so tired.

Folks, this is it… I finally got prescribed Vyvanse after six months of just fucking around with Wellbutrin! I’m super excited and eager to see what happens!

But that’s not what I’m here for right now. I’ve been playing with a story in my head for a very long time and I really want to start writing it. The thing is, the way I envision one of the characters includes the fact that she’s hard of hearing. I want to be as respectful as possible of such a person’s life experience and I want to research what everyday life is like for someone with impaired hearing. Can you folks suggest any sources for me to do some reading up on the topic? Anyone who talks about their life without hearing? Any interesting stories with a deaf/hard of hearing main character?