My professor even gave me an extension too and I was sure I’d finish it with relative quality but my grandma screwed over those plans and now I’m on the day before the due date freaking out since I have yet to actually write about the genocidal actions taken against the Donbas. I sent a lot on my intro going over what definition i was going to use (thee UN) and then did an overview of Euromaidan, every time I sat down to write my stomach would ache and I’d feel physically ill. That’s why I asked for the extension, I thought two extra days would be enough but instead of using that time effectively to talk about the far right and the Donbas (and whether the actions taken are genocidal) Ive been having to cater to my grandmas whims even though I told her I didn’t want to do any work around the house because of school. She clearly doesn’t take my academics seriously as this whole weekend and Monday Ive been bossed around the whole time and have barely been able to do much of anything for my paper passed Euromaidan. My cousin is also visiting which has my dog acting up and that just means everyone is yelling at me even more. This paper is a disaster and I know its not going to be the quality I had hoped it would be. No one ever leaves me alone when I need it an I can’t ask my professor for an extra day, that would be embarrassing. It’s due tomorrow and all I can hope for is he doesn’t fail my ass.

So why am I wasting time writing here? I have to utilize my panic attack somehow. I know a good paper is a finished one but, Jesus Christ, I wish i had more time, I just wish everyone would leave me alone. I know I have to stop caring but it’s hard. I don’t want to do bad but I may just have to take the hit academically and maybe grovel at my professor feet so he’ll go easy on me grade wise.

  • @FishLake
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    2018 days ago

    A half-assed, incomplete paper is worth more than no paper. Just turn something in. Believe me, your prof has read much worse.

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      1118 days ago

      That’s definitely the mindset I’m going with! I wish my time wasn’t wasted and interrupted by family (and I really hope it isn’t for my future classes, I don’t want this to be a trend) but shit happens and I just have to roll with the punches. I’m realizing that once I get writing it’s not nearly as bad anxiety wise.

      • @FishLake
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        4
        edit-2
        18 days ago

        Yeah, it’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s much better academically speaking to get used to the idea that the majority of your work will subpar (by your own standards). You’re in undergrad, right? Undergraduate work has always bent towards efficiency more than proficiency. I’m not saying you should just fart out trash for every paper and bomb tests. Rather, allot enough time to finish assignments and prepare for tests. That’s all. And that’s hard enough.

        If you’re really hung up about it, just email your professor after you turn it in. You can tell them you had trouble getting your thoughts on the subject worked or that you don’t think it’s your best work. Ask them if they think you’ve said anything interesting. Professors eat that shit up. Plus it shows you actually care about their course. Most liberal arts and humanities professors factor participation into how they grade. Emails count.

        • ඞmir
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          fedilink
          817 days ago

          Don’t, if Lemmy instances are indexed by fraud checks this could become problematic

        • @SpaceDogsOP
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          214 days ago

          I can’t do that for two reasons: plagiarism (the school does checks and I could be in big trouble); I am way too embarrassed to reveal such a shoddy paper. It’s not the worst thing ever written but you can tell how frantic I got in the second half of it. If people are genuinely curious about it I can share the sources I used for the paper. One day I’ll rewrite it and it’ll be worth showing to everyone.

    • TrudeauCastroson [he/him]
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      fedilink
      English
      818 days ago

      I definitely second this, the perfect paper will never be written.

      OP, if you have sources planned out, then you have the ability to shit out a first draft, and then edit it when you can.

      Don’t backspace or think about wording too hard, just put it out into the page. It’s easier to rework something than to get it perfect 1st try.

      I did bad in university because of this type of perfectionism, but getting something on paper (or digital, whatever) is super helpful.

      • @SpaceDogsOP
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        418 days ago

        I do have many sources thankfully! And I’m making my way through them. I’ve formatted my paper into specific “slots” being about specific forms of genocidal acts and how situations in the Donbas fit into each. Is it clean and nice? No, but it gets the job done.

        University breeds perfectionism which ends up hurting students but I’m trying to combat this thinking for my own sake.

        • @redtea
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          717 days ago

          Look, you’re in this race now and it’s uphill and you’re tired but you’ve got the whole of Lemmygrad cheering and waiting for you at the finish line, waving red flags. Keep going. You can do it!

  • @Mzuark
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    618 days ago

    I know the feeling. School is particularly hard this year

    • @SpaceDogsOP
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      216 days ago

      So it’s not just me! I don’t know what they put in the water to make school so painful