• yewler
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      2 months ago

      I’ve been very slowly coming to terms with my aromantic side. It’s so confusing trying to figure out where the boundary between pure platonic and romantic feelings is, especially considering I’m also asexual, so sex isn’t a component.

      I wish I could be as sure as you. I currently consider myself aromantic, but it’s hard to not worry that I’m missing out on something wonderful, y’know?

      • Kirbywithwhip1987
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        2 months ago

        Wdym, how can you not be sure? Romantic attraction is different that sexual attraction and if you’re not feeling either, then you’re aroace.

        And what could we be missing lmao?

        • yewler
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          2 months ago

          Well I mean the question is if I’m feeling it. Agreed, if I could figure that out, the answer is easy, but it’s not an easy question to answer for me.

          Occasionally it happens that I meet someone that I vibe with more than I vibe with other people, and I find myself wanting to be around them more than usual. It doesn’t happen very often, like maybe 5 times in my life, but it does happen. But every time it does happen, it feels like it might be romantic interest. But when I ask myself what I would actually want to change from how things are at that time, I can’t think of a single thing. So I’ve never actually figured out what that feeling is, because it does tangibly feel very different from my regular feelings for people. I just can’t figure out what it is.

          The reason I bring up the asexuality in this context is because that part’s real easy. I just don’t have a sex drive. So I can’t even evaluate these feelings from that point of view.

          So my issue is I get these feelings, like where I enjoy someone’s company a significant deal more than other people’s, but I can’t figure out for the life of me what that feeling actually is.

          • Kirbywithwhip1987
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            2 months ago

            That would be ‘aesthetic’ attraction I think, just when someone looks cool and you want to hang out with them.

            • yewler
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              2 months ago

              OH MY GOSH that’s exactly it. I just looked it up. Holy hell thanks for giving me that terminology