- cross-posted to:
- comradeship
- cross-posted to:
- comradeship
Most of them don’t really make sense or are just anti-communist “jokes.” The best two I found were “Roses are red and so is the state, let us be comrades because I think you are great” because it’s sweet and not necessarily romantic, and “Hey good looking. Are you the government? Because I would totally like to make you fall for me” because it’s just good. I also found one that I made up independently “are you the means of production? Because I want to seize you.” Which is just funny because it’s absurd. Are there any good communist pickup lines you know or can think of?
Here are some (WARNING: Incredibly terrible and corny):
ZAMN cuh, you can put your vanguard in my revolution!
You can seize my means of reproduction, baby!
You must be a dialectic, cuz you got me feeling contradictions
Can you be my cum-rade?
I say “No gods, no rulers” in the streets; “Yes master” in the sheets
Girl, are you a Trotskyist? Cuz, I have something to pick with you.
Girl, are you an MLM? Cuz, I wanna boil a baby in you.
The capitalists may own the means of production, but you own my heart
You must be a collectivized farm, cuz I wanna eat your ass (or something else…)
Are you a collectivized farm? Cuz I can’t resist to sow seeds of love with you
Damn, you must be good at praxis, cuz you got me rising up…
Are you a crackkker imperialist? Cuz you just colonized my heart
Damn, you make my heart do The Great Leap Forward
Are you Enver Hoxha? Cuz I wanna bunker down in your [explicit]
Is this hexbear? Cuz I wanna do a 5 hour struggle (or snuggle) session with you
Are you public transportation? Cuz I want you to f*cking rail me
I can come up with more later… But yeah. Just reading them aloud makes me want to kill myself for writing this and so on and so on…
How cringy. Also imagine thinking that hexbear struggle sessions take only 5 hours.
I kinda like this one. The rest, not so much