My dad smokes a lot, he has anger issues because of that. Yesterday, on a trip, he kept taunting my mom and raging on the road and making the stupidest of decisions but I kept my mouth shut as always.
Today, I lost my shit. I defensively explained why I couldn’t get the exact type of grocery he wanted. He tosses the sugar into the floor and slaps me. I lose sight of reason and start choking him. I’m now in my room with lights out and he’s off somewhere, probably smoking.
I tried calling him, and asked to apologize to him through SMS. No response, obviously.
I’m posting this on lemmygrad because I trust the people here a lot. Most other people have problems of their own.
If there are any Muslim comrades reading this, do you think there is anything in specific I should add when apologizing? Thank you.
If I was in your situation, I wouldn’t feel like I needed to apologize. He stepped up by getting physical first, and you responded.
I get that there’s probably some differences in our family backgrounds, so that’s not super helpful.
Idk if I’d accept that nicotine is what’s causing him to be physically abusive, though maybe it exacerbates it. I don’t think you’re going to be able to change his behaviors, but you can absolutely give him an object lesson on why it’s a bad idea to act out on/around you.
Idk homie. It seems like a bad situation that it’d be best to be out of, if possible.
I might be wrong about this, but I don’t think muslim families are too different from christian families. The father is the master.
Of course, because western countries have reached higher development, the family structure has begun to change. This has to yet to happen on the same scale in my country.
I don’t want to talk to him about his behavior, it’s not worth it. He is not the worst father. He has supported me throughout my life, he sees me as some sort of successor, he used to come to me to spy on my mother or my sister when he’d have an argument with them.
I don’t want to cut him out of my life, not like I can for the moment. But I realize that I can’t get as close to my father as I want to. I hope that I don’t become like him in the future.
When you get older, you could reasonably end up with a family of your own. Try asking your father for examples of what it means to be the father of a family, from what one ought to protect it and why, and how to lead it in a just and kind way. You may not seek his advice in earnest, however you won’t ask these questions for yourself, but for him. By asking him for concrete examples, you might get his gears turning to reflect on his past actions, and on what sort of father he wants to be.