Pretty much the title of the post. I started watching porn at a very young age (12 I think) and stuck with it for 13 years. Without retelling my entire life story, porn is the only sexual outlet I have.
I wanted to quit for a while now due to ethical (I don’t think I have to elaborate how fucked up the porn industry is to anyone here) and psychological reasons but so far it always ends in me quitting for a few days and then returning.
I want to stop, I can’t call myself a communist while engaging with something that is so vile and opposed to communist principles but I don’t know how to change my habits in a way that allows me to permanently quit and satisfy my urges in a different way.
This is a vital discussion. I wrestle with this addiction myself. For me it’s just the novelty and a mashup of many of the things talked about in this chat. Alienation, insecurity, trauma etc. The problem though, is that once you’re addicted you find new reasons to engage in the behavior. Ultimately it never feels fulfilling though. Sometimes I think the internet is too much for most people to handle responsibly.
I believe that you are correct. AES states ban internet porn for a reason, and it’s not for the moralistic nonsense reasons people claim. It’s insidious, latching onto many of us at incredibly young ages and utterly destroying our prospects for developing healthy ideas about sex without undergoing years of therapeutic rewiring. I struggle with it, too, as masturbation becomes less and less about actually having fun and more and more a mechanical reaction to boredom and the addiction cycle.
I will go months without porn only to relapse because I can’t be asked to actually use my imagination. “Just this once I’ll cheat”, my mind tells me. It’s never just once. Porn addiction, if not internet porn wholesale, is a psychosocial sickness, and I agree that these discussions are important for a multitude of reasons.