I’m not a man. I’ve wanted for so long to present as femme, to be seen as femme. My housing situation has been precarious lately, and I recently went from staying with a friend that was the worst kind of liberal ally to friends that are are both Q and T. I started feeling more safe and looking into diy hrt and seeing how so many of us are using ourselves as guinea pigs because we’ve lost access to anything like the ISR. And I see how it’s becoming more and more dangerous where I live. And I realize that I’m not in a very stable position for reliable HRT. And during all my searching, I decided it’s just not safe.
I just need help coming to terms, I guess. Because I would transition if I felt like I could, but I just don’t.
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It’s not just the lack of access, but also the danger, which is just multiplied without HRT.
I’m not fully closeted. My close friends know, so I do have some support. Maybe because of my recent experience, but I’m thinking maybe I’d also feel better if I narrowed my definition of friend.