Hey comrades, I hope this doesn’t break the rules but I needed someplace to rant to sane people. I know how well threads like this go over on R*ddit. Due to some hefty psychological abuse during my childhood, I suffer from bad social anxiety. Until very recently I couldn’t even talk to strangers via phone, Discord, or Email.

It took me so long to realize that I needed help and even longer to gather the strength to seek it that I am 25 now and only started getting better slowly. I just feel like it took me too long and now recovering is meaningless. I never went to any parties or clubs because I couldn’t and I also didn’t have romantic connections.

The thought of asking someone out terrifies me. I am completely clueless in dating matters and overcoming this seems like an impossible roadblock. It feels like I am already too old to have no clue about relationships and I will be definitely too old once I get over my fear of approaching someone. I don’t want to be alone forever. I don’t want to become some weird incel creep but I also feel like I already crossed the point of no return. And yet I feel silly for worrying about this. I know a lot of you have far greater problems in life. Me complaining about having social anxiety and being single just shows how good my life is if this is truly my biggest problem but I still can’t shake it.

Sorry that this rant is so uncoherent and leading to nothing I just had to get this out in an environment that is actually supporting and understanding.

Edit: thanks everyone for the kind words. I was shedding some tears while going through your replies. I was that deeply touched. I count myself once again lucky to belong to such a kind and caring community (can’t believe libs call US red red fascists) and I now feel much better about myself. I feared I was alone in my fight, and even though I haven’t met a single one of you in real life, I now know I am not. I will get around to answering everyone of you but it might take me a day or two.

  • panic
    12·
    2 years ago

    I will add that part of my recovery process has been to realize that there are social situations that I’m not interested in. I will never be a person with 100 friends and I don’t want to be that. I just want to be at peace with myself and do my shit.

    • KiG V2
      1·
      2 years ago

      My mom has spent over two decades trying to tell me that everybody doesn’t need to be my friend and that’s okay. It’s finally sinking in a little.

      • panic
        2·
        2 years ago

        I wasted so much life masking and feeling like an weirdo outsider. Learning that I don’t have to do that anymore has helped me tremendously. If I wanted to form a new friendship I won’t have to waste my energy putting on an act and can focus on forming something meaningful.