Pretty much the title of the post. I started watching porn at a very young age (12 I think) and stuck with it for 13 years. Without retelling my entire life story, porn is the only sexual outlet I have.
I wanted to quit for a while now due to ethical (I don’t think I have to elaborate how fucked up the porn industry is to anyone here) and psychological reasons but so far it always ends in me quitting for a few days and then returning.
I want to stop, I can’t call myself a communist while engaging with something that is so vile and opposed to communist principles but I don’t know how to change my habits in a way that allows me to permanently quit and satisfy my urges in a different way.
I went through a very similar experience. I had zero self confidence, shy, had a stutter, poor style, was a visible minority in a non-diverse area, nerdy interests, you name it. Convinced I was going to die alone. Felt like there was no point in asking anyone out because nobody showed interest. I started dressing better and updated my hairstyle, which helped my confidence. I was always pretty athletic, but this might be something you can work on. To this day I’m still pretty shy, so I turned to online dating. Casually dated about 5 people before meeting my current girlfriend of 5+ years. For me, the #1 game changer was actually asking people out (online in my case). I tried to follow the common internet advice of “just be confident brah” or “stop looking for a relationship and it will come,” but that was actually the opposite of what I needed to hear - I needed to actually start trying, however I could, even if I wasn’t confident enough to make moves in person.
Let me tell you though, having a partner will not cure your porn addiction (though it might help). Real sex is not nearly as glamorous as porn. It’s almost a different experience altogether.
Wow we really are similar. During school I didn’t care about my looks. As far as I was concerned the girls at school were horrible anyway and so the only thing I cared about was dreading going to school and running back home to play videogames.
I changed quite a lot since then, I do care a lot more about my appereance than I used to and I think it is at a point where it is detremental again. I always carry hairproduct, combs and brushes, fragarance and a manicure kit around in my backpack. I am also working out and while I can see the first changes to my body I think I am still at least two years off before I reach anything admirable. Beyond that I am ultra self concious to the point were I feel extremly uncomfortable if I notice that my hair isn’t perfect for example. I don’t feel attractive or pretty at all and more or less feel like I have to give it 110% to even pass as a human.
Online dating isn’t really working for me. I used multiple dating apps daily for a few months and ended with 1 match who replied more than once but stopped responding before we could talk about meeting. I don’t know if my profile is the problem or if I am too ugly for online dating but it certainly isn’t helping my psyche seeing so many beautiful people only to fail to attract anyone. I thought about hiring somebody to help me with my profile and picturers but so far I haven’t found anything that looks trustworthy and isn’t just a thinly veiled scam or some toxic pick up artist bs.
I also had very unruly hair that needed constant touchups haha. In the last year or so I switched to a lower maintenance style.
It helps to just get a friend or two to look over your profile. You don’t need to pay anybody. I also had a friend who did photography as a hobby to help take a few shots.