I was having a fairly rough time the last 2-6 weeks prior. Old depression was coming up after a mercifully long time I had overcome it…it was scary that it could come back so suddenly. Crisis of masculinity from some weird time I spent with my dad. Crisis of realness as I feel there’s many people in my life I couldn’t be fully, grotesquely honest with, even though I know how wonderful it is to lay it all bare and to bloodlet bad blood. Generally feeling like a loser who will never amount to anything and is destined for failure of poetic proportions. Feeling weak, overwhelmed, unfocusable, contemptable.
I feel much better the last few days. Forced some truth out before the dishonest festered and the guilt invaded every impulse of my emotions. Made myself be depressed, take a day off, re-center and re-submerge. Got some personal and professional stuff done. Spent some time with nature, sang to the spirits in the woods. BOGO orange juice.
I expect many more hardships these coming months, and of course the ever-present darkness of the future here in the West and this Sick Sad (Bubble) World ™. But I am prepared and eager to endure more challenges.
I hope you and everyone else reading (and not) is doing well. I know many comrades on here have much harder lives than I and I wish I could only lend some strength to spare, even if just to pry open the tunnel mouth a little wider to show there really still is bonafide, genuine sunshine that still exists in this world, and that even the seemingly unrelenting suffocation of the abyss will sometimes abate even when it seems it will never.
Yeah, I do see people here struggling. If anyone needs help I can be an emergency friend/therapist, although I’m not timely just know that offer always stands to anyone here 💜
Thank you. I’m feeling much better now but when I don’t I isolate and keep it tucked away from 99% of people. But thank you for saying this, I will remember next time I might feel bad! Best wishes 💜
Pretty solid, thank you for asking.
spoiler
I was having a fairly rough time the last 2-6 weeks prior. Old depression was coming up after a mercifully long time I had overcome it…it was scary that it could come back so suddenly. Crisis of masculinity from some weird time I spent with my dad. Crisis of realness as I feel there’s many people in my life I couldn’t be fully, grotesquely honest with, even though I know how wonderful it is to lay it all bare and to bloodlet bad blood. Generally feeling like a loser who will never amount to anything and is destined for failure of poetic proportions. Feeling weak, overwhelmed, unfocusable, contemptable.
I feel much better the last few days. Forced some truth out before the dishonest festered and the guilt invaded every impulse of my emotions. Made myself be depressed, take a day off, re-center and re-submerge. Got some personal and professional stuff done. Spent some time with nature, sang to the spirits in the woods. BOGO orange juice.
I expect many more hardships these coming months, and of course the ever-present darkness of the future here in the West and this Sick Sad (Bubble) World ™. But I am prepared and eager to endure more challenges.
I hope you and everyone else reading (and not) is doing well. I know many comrades on here have much harder lives than I and I wish I could only lend some strength to spare, even if just to pry open the tunnel mouth a little wider to show there really still is bonafide, genuine sunshine that still exists in this world, and that even the seemingly unrelenting suffocation of the abyss will sometimes abate even when it seems it will never.
Yeah, I do see people here struggling. If anyone needs help I can be an emergency friend/therapist, although I’m not timely just know that offer always stands to anyone here 💜
Really sympathizing with that first paragraph. You are not alone. Remember that. We call you comrade for a reason.
🫂🫂🫂
Thank you. I’m feeling much better now but when I don’t I isolate and keep it tucked away from 99% of people. But thank you for saying this, I will remember next time I might feel bad! Best wishes 💜