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Overall pretty good. But there may be some issues.

I’m not lying when I say that this whole communist thing with the party and activism is taking over my life. It’s on my mind 24/7, I keep doing stuff for it daily and normal things just don’t bother me that much.

Is that a problem? Not per se, the cause is great. But I need to do normal stuff in order to keep functioning in society. But I take 0 shit from any manager, boss, cop, teacher, often giving them a polite go fuck yourself speech. If some normal thing happens to be at the same time as a party thing or protest I will cancel it.

I was supposed to go to a football match with my dad yesterday but I went to protest neonazi’s instead. To me it’s more important, and my dad had someone else to go with as well, but it’s still a social event cancelled.

There might be a point in which I need to find balance and focus on other stuff as well. But right now, all my emotional attention goes to my girlfriend and communism really. It makes me feel good to do the things I do. I really feel like we have momentum now and that we need to push forward. But it’s really busy.

finishing up high school, haven’t eaten in 3 days but got Sportsman of the Year at least 😎

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Kind of awful, tbh. Can’t concentrate on my courseload atm because it keeps hitting me-- ‘there is no viable pathway to 1.5C before 2030’. We failed, and we’re going to pay for it; because the world will never decouple from the philosophy of a cancer cell until America is dead and gone.

Questioning why I even bothered with computer-related STEM when I’ll likely be dead before it can even pay off for me.

Pretty shit, thanks.

A lot of people are saying we’re “teetering on the brink of apocalypse”. I can’t shake the feeling this ship has sailed. That we are already full steam ahead to extinction. That the material processes that drive history are already set and we cannot stop this engine, even if the current ruling class had any interest in helping - and they clearly do not. I’m trying to read theory and collaborate with local comrades, but all of this feels like slapping a bandaid on an open belly wound. And even if we somehow pull through, if capitalism will fail to kill us all and a revolution will finally free us - how many will not live to see it? How many comrades drowned in mud in the trenches of WW1 and had no idea the October Revolution succeeded? How many would later be tortured to death by Nazis?

Normally I would try to distract myself with hobbies - reading fiction or painting miniatures. But all of it feels hollow and pointless in the face of likely upcoming extinction. It’s likely what comrade Dank has described observing in others. The passive attitude and going through the motions.

Fairly stressed. Tend to shift from pretty chill all the way to absolute despair. I have to make phone calls to government people and I hate dealing with government programs. I’m always so scared that the one time I need to call they’ll change my whole shit. The whole war thing isn’t helping either.

In reality, I’m doing great, but internally, I feel really alienated these days tbh. I’m getting impatient, I’ve been impatient, I am impatient.

I’m in Western Europe right now and all I see is bullshit. The people have been really nice to me and it’s good to talk to new people, but I have seen so much bs around Iran, it makes me sad. It’s like, okay you want regime change; do you know Bolton is jizzing rn at the opportunity to overthrow a sovereign nation again, right. Why are you playing into warmongers hand? You want another Ukraine situation so bad, another Syria, another Libia? “At what cost” as the NYT asks? What does regime change look like? Idgaf if your Iranian, if you’re diaspora, it must feel really nice to get on a high horse and call for revolution, but do you think it’s gonna be all flower power and freedom? Tens of thousands would die and hundreds of thousands, if not millions, would be displaced. Is Germany going to take them in? Are you going to house them, give them food, jobs, and homes? Fuck you, dude. You don’t know what you’re saying.

These people are so naive and they think they’re right. You know who needs regime change? Western Europe, Canada, USA. These countries have fucked so many more people. Yeah it’s sad that Iran has killed civilians, but you don’t call for regime change frothing at the mouth for America who slaughters thousands of black people every year. How convenient… and it’s like, how do I even talk to you?

Think I’m gonna drop a client. We haven’t signed anything yet but I told them yesterday that I would send them the contract (the contract is not binding, it just protects me because I get access to logins and data).

I’m not feeling it. Some red flags that I don’t want to have to endure. I didn’t become self employed to deal with clients I don’t want.

Barely holding it together, but not enough for me to collapse emotionally. Still anxious about Earth and humanity’s future though.

Numb.

Still waiting for my turn to get hit by Truck-kun 😭

Really subpar thank you for asking. Have just felt really disengaged with life this year, stuck in a rut, burnt out ect. I’ve realized I really dislike the way my brain works, always hyper-fixating on silly shit, making it impossible for me to focus or self motivate, sabotaging my relationships. I’ve had a really negative attitude about everything really and its just gotten worse lately.

I’ve done enough feeling sorry for myself though, definitely trying to make some improvements. I’m seeing a doctor finally for the first time in like over 3 years next week, so hopefully can get my health back on track and get some help for my executive dysfunction. Also gonna finally schedule some therapy soon which will hopefully help with the whole hating myself and feeling dead inside thing. Beyond that I’ve also finally started the process of joining my local communist org, and am getting back into the gym. Just gotta keep telling myself things will be okay and not give up trying.

Not to well, I know I’m new to posting here, and not to good at expressing my feelings, but I haven’t been doing very well. I’ll pull through, but it gets very dark and lonely at times, thats partially why I decided to become active in the community.

Pretty solid, thank you for asking.