Please remember that this abonimation of a country has birthed the most expensive and expansive propaganda campaign in human history. Americans you talk to today are the byproduct of over a century of anticommunist, procapitalist, pro American, pro Western propaganda.

I will say I once was similarly doubtful of my beliefs in a similar way. It helped learning the truth issue by issue but stumbling upon Marxism-Leninism and learning the truth about so much history and geopolitics made it all irrevocably click and now I never doubt that I have found the one political body that can have some sort of claim to adhere to reality in every sense. I do not relate to being an ML doubting MLism. Please just keep in mind that it is very sensible for America to be the place with the least amount of communists out of probably every other country in the world past or present (besides, what, MAYBE Nazi Germany?).

A core attribute of MLism is being able to adapt to the circumstances. So don’t get lost in the sauce of what is already established, these are rapidly changing and in many ways unprecedented times in a country that has, in many ways, unprecedented circumstances. New theories will need to be had. The American path to MLism–if it is even physically possible without a total collapse of the empire–will require new ways of thinking, new methods, new epiphanies. If American MLs are “missing the point” it is not because the core, MLism, is wrong, it is because they are not adapting to the times and the circumstances. MLism is a science, this would be like if you were a physics researcher working on some unprecedented physics problem and you questioned Newton’s Laws when things didn’t work out. Don’t questiom the basics, the sky is blue and the Moon is not cheese. But we must begin building a new branch, because the data and conclusions and spreadsheets of how an apple falls from a tree will not be sufficient in figuring out how to build an interdimensional wormhole. I hope this metaphor makes sense.

It is very sensible to feel scared about the future as an American communist, to feel like you are in a schizophrenic, sociopathic bastard civilization. But do not blame yourself or this ideology for this feeling of fear. That is exactly what the capitalist elites hope. To sow fear and confusion and doubt. These motherfuckers will try to convince you you are evil and stupid for not throwing puppies in a blender. Capitalism is a necessary part of human civilizational development, it is better than a monarchy, but only just. It is a bastard and it has, through its own internal logic, produced a ruling class of psychopaths that have r**** the world and robbed us of our humanity.

Find a way to come to peace with the situation, because the system will continue to try and use its illusory evils to make you despair, to make you doubt. We each require a unique understanding to come to this peace, focus on the small battles in this war of information. Okay ramble over, best wishes.