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Joined 4 years ago
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Cake day: July 18th, 2020

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  • Kultronxtochat@hexbear.netDating apps suck so bad
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    7 hours ago

    Understandable. That’s always tough. You mentioned competition, my specific advice in this case would be to find spaces that are more traditionally women-coded that likely aren’t going to attract a lot of toxic males. I’m thinking stuff like knitting/sewing/crafting circles, paint parties, flower/garden stores, clothing stores, even getting a cute dog. The key is presenting yourself in a comfortable, non-threatening way while also being assertive that allows you to build trust free from anxiety. hope this helps.


  • Kultronxtochat@hexbear.netDating apps suck so bad
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    8 hours ago

    Like many here have already said, the dating apps are there to make money these days. Getting a connection is a slim possibility but you never know, I met my current partner through one many years ago. I see a lot of unhappy people in the comments, allow me to “spit some game”:

    -You need to be confident, this includes simple stuff like standing up straight, learning to style your hair, skincare, etc. This stuff doesn’t have to cost a lot. Read the book “how to win friends and influence people” even if it is a bit outdated, it can give you tips. just walking into somewhere with a smile on your face or chuckling to yourself can have an outsized effect on how you are perceived.

    -get therapy. i don’t mean just paying a psychologist to talk to you, just talk to people, friends, family you trust and express your issues and ask for advice. heck, even talking to strangers or AI can be therapeutic. just don’t keep all your negative thoughts in your head, you need perspective and connection with people in non-romantic ways.

    -examine your hobbies. there was 2 lists that came out recently, most attractive and unattractive male hobbies. understand what makes one attractive and not. learning a language is a top one for a reason. there’s an app called Tandem that allows you to talk to people all over the world, this is a good low stakes environment to talk to people of different genders.

    -go out in public. master the art of the talking to strangers in a non creepy way. learn body language and see how ‘receptive’ someone is. lots of people aren’t receptive, but some are. practice with customer service people. home furnishing stores, libraries, book stores, are low stakes areas to meet people. check out a few TikTok accounts of people doing “exposure therapy”, basically acting super cringe in public to acclimatize themselves to not be fearful or shameful around strangers.

    -laugh. at yourself, most importantly. most ‘flirting’ is just joking around. it doesn’t have to be so complicated. I know this sounds cringe, but watching shows like “The Bachelor” or “Love Island” reality shows are interesting ways to observe connections being formed. You may not be as attractive as the people in these shows, but realize that attraction is a game, and that game can be gamed.

    Feel free to message me if u need more advice