Gallium? It’s solid at room temperature, but your own body heat will melt it, so you lie down on a solid block of metal and then slowly sink into a melting puddle in the middle of it. It’s non-toxic and six times denser than water so you’d be really floaty on it too
150 litres of Gallium would cost $130800
Well that does make it quite regrettable for most people, I suppose
We need to convince the billionaires that this is the cool thing for them to do…
Hmm! Quite the investment vehicle!
(I’m now just picturing tech bros smugly smiling with bathtubs full of gallium)
You don’t want it to get in your body (holes, cuts etc…)
the physical description also applies to butter
Missed opportunity for a Saw film
Heavy water - like water, just heavier.
What dilution? 25% makes you sterile and 50% kills you after a week of drinking it
Don’t eat your bath salts. Don’t drink your bathwater.
As a general rule: Just don’t.
but its me soup, how can I resist?
You have to have 25% and 50% in your body fluids for it to happen, if you drink a glass of 50% heavy water you won’t drop dead a week later.
Wait, would it work as a contraceptive, then?
Maybe coconut water or aloe vera gel, I imagine it’d feel weird but probably not regrettable.
I guess we’ve got to beat Cleopatra as our baseline with her bath of asp milk.
Marmite would probably veer into the regrettable category, and I’m saying that as a marmite enjoyer
coconut water
in a heartbeat
aloe vera
I can imagine this feeling really tingly after a while, though not sure why.
asp milk
what is this? I googled and found nothing
marmite
I too partake joyfully in that hellish sludge, and have wondered what depths of depravity I would willingly go to to satisfy that dark craving
Wikipedia says donkey milk was used by Cleopatra, not asp milk. Maybe OP meant ass milk and got autocorrected, but that sounds really wrong.
An asp is a type of snake so that sounds uhh, difficult
You can milk snake venom. Still doesn’t sound too easy.
what is this? I googled and found nothing
Ah I got my history slightly wrong, she bathed in donkey milk and just liked asps (a kind of snake)
The asses’ milk would moisturize skin. I assume a water rinse though, because old milk stinks and could cause a yeast infection.
The asp was legendarily her choice to commit suicide, though it was probably an Egyptian Cobra, if it was a snake at all. (Asp bite death is slower and much more painful than cobra bite death.) I have a theory that the asp legend depends partly on the fact it’s easier to rhyme “asp” than Egyptian Cobra. As for snakebite in general, I note that male artists have universally portrayed the snake biting her on her bare booby. That’s not actually a good way to get the venom quickly to the heart/brain/lungs, because boobies are mostly fat, but it makes good
pornArt.It’s actually referred to by the longer aspic in Shakespeare (alongside some very questionable herpetology), which is the main place I imagine there would be influential Cleopatra rhymes in English. According to Wikipedia, they’re both the same snake anyway.
You’ve got two Cleopatra stories mixed up there.
She was said to bathe in ass’s (donkey’s) milk.
She killed herself by holding an asp (snake) to her breast.
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Oobleck for the experience. It wouldn’t clean you, but you’d have a story. Possibly mild regret if it’s in a bathtub that you need to clean or a house who’s plumbing you’re responsible for afterwards.
I like it – though how do I get out of it?
Very slowly.
Water based lube.
It’d have to be a communal bath though, and I’m inviting you all, even Hairy Steve.
Extrapolating from the slipperiness of lube on the floor: this is a terrible idea. People will be bouncing around like pinballs.
This just sounds more and more appealing. Count me in.
It’s someone’s fetish for sure
Sleepytime tea
My goodness, that’s almost a bucket list item.
Hmm. I wonder how steeped would be best for maximum soothing. Unless it’s a heated tub there would be a real art to the timing, even once you know.
Feel like any resulting UTIs would be worth it for the great sleep that bath would bring
Heinz Baked Beans.
Excuse you, this isn’t unconventional at all, 69,000,000 Brits do it every morning
Baked Beans
no regrets?
It seems that you need to go watch Tommy: A Rock Opera immediately
Oh I’m a huge fan.
Oatmilk, Tea, Cum, Flavored water (no sugar pls)
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Flavored water does feel like cheating. It’s really just water.
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Cum flavoured water could be a big seller
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Coconut penis
Elon his blood. 6L is enough.
I think 4L is enough for him to go into shock
I just want to be sure.
I was going to say heavy water, but TIL that it’s not just chonky water. It can be toxic.
Only if you drink it in considerable amounts. Should be pretty fine for a bath though.
Like, barely toxic. Table salt will kill you faster.
One line of evidence for this is a literal mixup at a nuclear plant where they managed to put it in the water cooler for an extended period, with no ill effects.
Alcoholic beverages
- white wine (but a dip into red would be interesting)
- beer, for the carbonation
- champagne, for the bubbles and the decadence of it
Other liquids
- sparkling water, a jacuzzi without one
- rose water (for those who don’t know, it is sickly sweet smelling and very persistent and can be food grade)
- oil, like sunflower, olive or any other of the like. After, just scrape you body, like the ancient athletes would do
I read these to my husband and he said “an oil bath sounds like it would be good for your skin but you’d be all slipping around and unable to get out then you’d drown.” While flailing his arms around as a visual aid.
Or if you did get out you’d immediately slip and crack your head open.
Zero sugar energy drinks.
No sugar means its not gonna get sticky, it’d rinse right off.
I imagine a bunch of creams already use the b vitamins you’d get since they love shoving b vitamins in those.
And it’ll actually drain when you’re done and a quick rinse will get everything normal afterwards.
coke zero, no question. diet coke? no thank you. Pepsi max? gtfo
Imagine rocking up to the weird bath house all prepped to bathe in Coke and they’re like, “Oh, sorry. We only have Pepsi.”
burn the place to the ground would be the most reasonable response
why do you hate Pepsi so much? I like it
it beat me as a child
Would the caffeine have any effect? Can skin absorb it?
Macaroni & cheese
no regrets? You’d just get up and go to bed covered in the stickiness?
Who says I’m going to bed?
You’re going to work
A mixture of Vaseline and baby oil, just enough to keep it liquified.
That sounds… messy… but yes, you will technically be quite clean and fragrant after
Vanta Black
I’m gambling that the experience of it would mitigate how much of a pain in the ass the repercussions would be.
Edit: I suppose I ought to have looked before, but this appears to be not the healthiest decision (who’d have though‽). Maybe we’ll go with some kind of closest equivalent nontoxic paint?
On the morbidly curious side of things, I do wonder what such a person looks like. You would just notice the eyes and the hair. Everything else would just be stark contrast.
There’s also the whole, “went vanta black face” issue
Vanta black face is only 2d racism.Which is a measurable amount, but incomparable to 3d racism.
The unit analysis checks out.
Nice interrobang.
I had no idea a single symbol existed for an interrobang?!
It absolutely does‽ Just get your keyboard to auto replace an exclamation and a question mark next to each other into an interrobang.
There’s also ⸮ which was a (very) early attempt at what /s now is.
Very fine charcoal powder maybe (and self-contained breathing apparatus).
