Take up the liberal’s burden—

And let the things you read

Be only in the New York Times

(The Guardian at need).

To tweet with hearts so heavy

About how “Russia bad,”

And how “Hamas is evil,”

And how it makes you sad;

Take up the liberal’s burden

In patience to abide

The threat of Muslim terror

And of Russian tankie pride;

By citing MSNBC,

An hundred times make plain

That everyone’s a fascist

(Except fascists in Ukraine).

Take up the liberal’s burden—

And reap his old reward:

The blame of those with half a brain

Who listen to you, bored –

The cry of orcish ingrates, whom

You’re leading to the light,

"Why brought you us the 90s

“From our loved Egyptian night?”

Take up the liberal’s burden-

Be childish all your days-

Fill up your time with capeshit,

And with easy, ungrudged praise.

Come and reject adulthood,

Though you’re five and thirty years,

And bask, with reddit wisdom,

In the praise of all your peers!