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It would take one woman to say “ew gross” and they’d all crumble into dust
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“Yo, baby girl! You ever seen so much alpha in one place?”
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This is the best bit account that’s not a bit on Twitter.
That’s the DC subway. Say hello to the next generation’s ruling class.
My money says we’re looking at the Unnamed GOP Staffers Complaining that They Can’t Get Dates in DC in a Slate/Atlantic Human Interest Piece Class of 2033.
Unnamed GOP Staffers Complaining that They Can’t Get Dates in DC in a Slate/Atlantic Human Interest Piece Class of 2033.
If the government as we know it stays around that long, they’ll have alternatives.
You’re in a dark frame of mind tonight
It’s hard to imagine a 2033 where the status quo is recognizable enough that isn’t dark.
Instead of “resurfaced picture of senator in blackface” it’s going to be “resurfaced clip of senator saying racial slurs in Xbox voice chat”.
The first gamer-american president 🫨
Can’t have a sex scandal if you’ve never had sex.
You know, xbox live released almost twenty years ago now. Political candidates’ heated gamer moments coming back to haunt them is probably imminent
Nah, unless these dorks are connected, the best they’re gonna get is moving up to a higher class of flunky for whatever representative or senator they get stuck under
It’s weird how I always recognize it right away even though I’ve never even been to DC. I think it’s because the architecture is very memorable (and that particular platform/station?) has been used in movies enough times that on a subconscious level it has been in my mind from when I was a boy.
What am I looking at? Are those sixth graders?
the kenosha murderer
this looks like every group of white teenagers but in their dad’s suits
although these are literal actual children so lets maybe tone in some of the commentry here
I know these are just kids but if my kids were doing this I’d be correctly investigated for abuse
their dads are way fatter than that, the awful fit is because their suburban moms are convinced they’re not done growing yet and tailoring is for … theater kids
I am stauchly against bullying in schools except for these kids specifically.
A privilege of Vincent Adultmans.
They have Young Tory energy which is certainly not a cool/good thing
I doubt any of these groups struggle with comprehending a level of zero.
Considering that the scientist that originally coined the concept of “alpha male” later regretted it and said the data was flawed because it was describing socially damaged wolves in brutal captivity and not a functioning wolf pack in the wild, them calling themselves “alpha” is like saying “is fine with their privileged place in a socially damaged and fucked up environment.”
Clown kings are still clowns.
I mean, the picture shows what happens when you tell alienated permanently online boys they’ll get status and a tradwife when they dress as if they’re invited to Ben Shapiro’s Bar Mitzvah and take standing lessons based on neon green lines drawn on celebrity photos, so the socially damaged captive wolves analogy is not that far off.
You’re right.
Yeah, with guys like this it isn’t a matter of being right, it’s a matter of that “knowledge” being deeply entrenched and useful.
The joke writes itself.
Even by their own “alpha chad” standards these guys are complete “betas” (they don’t have strong jawlines, look shorter than 6ft, and don’t seem very built/muscular/lean). How tf did they think this was a win?
How tf did they think this was a win?
The clumsily-worn suits and the inherited importance.
the trust fund is out of frame
We could use this image to rehabilitate incels. “See? These are the people who consider themselves alpha. They’re liars, and obviously so.”
Budding mass shooters
oh wait lmao i legitimately thought one of them was rittenhouse but now im not sure, they might be a bit younger
They’re cultivating mass! …shooters
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Cringerfull.
No way “GOP Josh” isn’t a bit account.
But either way I really hate the “blue suit red tie” thing. Like I get why it’s the USA’s political uniform but I wish we had something cool like a mao suit
nah, it’s not a bit account. white boys from wealthy families are just sincerely like this.
He looks so disgusting
This is how the three-piece business suit dies.
This is how the three-piece business suit dies.
This is how the three-piece business suit dies.
Not with a bang, but with a bunch of wieners.
I’d normally make an edgy joke about how those wieners won’t bang, but there’s workarounds for the failsons of the political and economic ruling class.
Zhongshan keeps winning RIP westoids
Holup, how can one be an “Alpha Male©®™” if you’re just flexing your parents money? Isn’t it “Beta” to have someone else provide for you? How can you be “Alpha” and live at your parent’s house? This is some real keyboard warrior shit.
How can you be an “alpha male” if the “female mind” can’t recognize it?
class based analysis reveals the false gods of identity for the crass, superficial marketing, psychology ass lib brained divide and conquer bullshit it always was