On the journey to becoming a productive member of society I had to compartmentalize my inner child.
During my early schoolboy years, he waited patiently for the school day to finish so that he could finally resume his creative and playful pursuits.
As the education became more involved, he had to wait a little longer because of homework.
In university, the complicated assignments, group projects, and late night study sessions meant that he would often not get to let loose until the weekend.
The full-time job, commute, technical projects, work politics, and other adult responsibilities really did the biggest number on him though. Sometimes he would go without playing for weeks, or months at a time.
Today it’s as if my adult mask has adhered permanently to my face and I can no longer access him at all.
I never left it. I still have a baby tooth, therfore i still am child.
at 53…thats fucking pretty good
Oh hey, I’m in the baby tooth club! High five!
I had to surgically remove a tooth because it came at an already replaced tooth. So i guess I’m your nemesis.
If we ever meet we have to duel like in an action movie.
Thats cool. I have so many questions. Is it visibly smaller than your other teeth? Did the corresponding adult tooth come in? If it fell out now would you still get tooth fairy money?
It looks the sameish, but my teeth are crowded on the bottom anyway so it “fits” better than an adult tooth, I guess? No, no adult tooth underneath and you’re goddam right i better get some tooth fairy money (to pay for the implant).
I have all of those rerelease retro consoles and a cheap projector onto an unprepped wall. (Cheap projector and unprepped wall imitates CRT blur really well)
Sometimes when adult life can fuck right off, I skip dinner and get my daughter to bed. Go get a pizza and a block of chocolate in MY car, blast the tunes come home and play Metal Slug on a 3 meter “screen”.
I take a moment to appreciate that 15yo me would think that this is pretty badass.
I don’t know if this exactly counts… I have embraced having kids wholeheartedly. I jump on the giant trampoline (sometimes when they aren’t around). I’ve rediscovered going to the movies. I am a huge fan of the holidays now. And a bunch of other stuff. I wouldn’t have done any of that without my kids.
I don’t really have an inner child. My childhood sucked. I have nightmares about feeling angry and scared and trapped like I did as a child. My adulthood just keeps getting better. I’m learning to enjoy life and the world for the first time, and I’m a more productive member of society for it. What you describe is totally alien to me.
It’s also an important trauma processing technique. If you had a shitty childhood like us, it’s called reparenting instead.
Similar. Riding on rollercoasters, watching wholesome cartoons, and reading good fiction don’t feel childish to me, they just feel like well-deserved fun. Why associate that with childhood, when childhood lacked freedom?
You could totally work with your inner child on that basis. Obviously don’t have to. But just imagining this little version of you and the hardship they had to endure, thinking about what they would have needed from an adult, and imagining yourself being that adult for your imaginative younger self - that would be very much in line with the idea of the technique.
Honestly that sounds bleak AF.
Why would you ever “compartmentalize” your inner child? That doesn’t sound like a real thing, that sounds like whoever influenced you (and/or yourself) making you cut off the things you like for no reason.
During my early schoolboy years, he waited patiently for the school day to finish so that he could finally resume his creative and playful pursuits.
As the education became more involved, he had to wait a little longer because of homework.
In university, the complicated assignments, group projects, and late night study sessions meant that he would often not get to let loose until the weekend.
The full-time job, commute, technical projects, work politics, and other adult responsibilities really did the biggest number on him though. Sometimes he would go without playing for weeks, or months at a time.
You know what’s telling about the whole above description that you gave of your life?
You never take ownership or agency. Everything you wrote, you wrote as if it happened to you, and you were just a passive observer with no control over the situation.
Why was your commute so long? Why when work ended at 5pm, did you not have hours to play until you had to go to bed around midnight? Why did you never choose to change your situation?
Sounds a bit harsh but these are the questions to ask yourself. Too many times people are passive and don’t realise they have some power in certain situations.
One good part about having a kid is that you get to re-experience all of the fun kid stuff you remember, both as an adult and through the eyes of your kid. You can introduce your kid to your favorite shows/books/etc that you remember (and cringe at some of the stuff you forgot was in there).
My inner child is dead and I killed them in about second year of university because of fear of other people and lack of money for anything beyond food and tuition -> no fun times except for the computer -> depression, unmedicated for 3 years.
And now that I have money, I’m a mess after years of neglect, and I forgot how to have fun, and I still suffer from depression.
Dude(ess? sorry, idk your pronouns), I feel you and I didn’t even get to the phase where I have money yet.
When I go to the beach I dig deep holes in the sand. Does that count?
I do too! It’s mandatory for guys of all ages to dig holes at the beach. Bonus points for every dad mom boy girl that joins!
I talk to my inner child every night. I tell him all kinds of things like:
- he’s worthless
- he will never be enough
- he is stupid
It’s what my mother would have done
:(
Please don’t be like that, it won’t bring you nothing but pain and suffering. If you had bad parents or a difficult childhood (as I did), then you’ll probably want the rest of your life to be as good as possible, right? So, be practical and dont drown youself in negative ideas. Ok? :)
I’m all good. I am just being sardonic. Things were a lot worse for a long time but now I’m unbothered, moisturized, and in my lane
Moisturized? 🤨
Mixed feelings here, what is an “inner child?” Feelings of exercising creativity and spontnuity don’t have to be “compartmentalized”… Just work that into your adult life. only thing that is different otherwise is obviously responsibility, that will never go away. You might have to answer to your wife as to why you chose to spend a whole Saturday watching cartoons, but as long as you make your needs known, that shouldn’t be an issue as well.
I’m sensing you have problems communicating your desires(ideas, inspirations, etc) … other than that, you might be feeling nostalgia. But nostalgia is mostly ignorance. It felt like good times at times because I was ignorant to how my parents struggled.
Quite a few years ago I used eBay to find some of the toys I had as a kid… a unique Matchbox car, some original trilogy Star Wars figures, some collector cards. I associate them with my childhood so when I look at them of touch them it takes me back to that simpler time and makes me happy
I never disconnected. I just stopped doing certain things in front of other people.
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I still drink chocolate milk and watch cartoons and play video games and shit in my free time. honestly the key is just learning not to care.
shit in my free time
Life pro tip: shit at work and get paid for it. Unless you work at Amazon, of course.
I don’t know that just sounds like a fake concept. I have no idea what an inner child is supposed to be. Sometimes I’m more serious sometimes more playful but that’s just mood.
