On the journey to becoming a productive member of society I had to compartmentalize my inner child.
During my early schoolboy years, he waited patiently for the school day to finish so that he could finally resume his creative and playful pursuits.
As the education became more involved, he had to wait a little longer because of homework.
In university, the complicated assignments, group projects, and late night study sessions meant that he would often not get to let loose until the weekend.
The full-time job, commute, technical projects, work politics, and other adult responsibilities really did the biggest number on him though. Sometimes he would go without playing for weeks, or months at a time.
Today it’s as if my adult mask has adhered permanently to my face and I can no longer access him at all.
Honestly that sounds bleak AF.
Why would you ever “compartmentalize” your inner child? That doesn’t sound like a real thing, that sounds like whoever influenced you (and/or yourself) making you cut off the things you like for no reason.
You know what’s telling about the whole above description that you gave of your life?
You never take ownership or agency. Everything you wrote, you wrote as if it happened to you, and you were just a passive observer with no control over the situation.
Why was your commute so long? Why when work ended at 5pm, did you not have hours to play until you had to go to bed around midnight? Why did you never choose to change your situation?
Sounds a bit harsh but these are the questions to ask yourself. Too many times people are passive and don’t realise they have some power in certain situations.