Thank you for sharing this… I like really needed this and opened lemmy in the middle of a really bad depressive episode and this was on top of my feed… Saving this for future me and friends.
I’m so glad it helped you too!
See, the way I see it is that my concerns have mostly if not always been correct. Most people might not be as observant and able to deduct consequences but I have the unfortunate ability to know exactly how something is going to pan out and when I can’t control the catalyst it causes me to have to come up with damage control methods. Don’t pretend like everything is ok. Your house needs constant maintenance or it could be costly or even dangerous, pets need constant observation to catch things early, not having a gas detector when you own a gas stove is idiotic and you should always be ready in case of the very likely such as break ins, electrical fires, broken pipes, and yes… car catching on fire. I told my SO the car smelled like gas, he said I was being paranoid. I was the only one who detected the gas being left on in a kitchen full of people. Most people don’t pay attention and leave you to have to be always on alert. Every time I just let it go or think to myself it’s nothing it ends up being something I could have prevented. I learned to listen to that anxiety and do something.
Thanks, I was just caught in an anxious loop and this helped a ton.
I’m so glad! I get really caught up in What Ifs and I was surprised how effective this is.
I had a boss who thought “but what if it all works out.”
It didn’t.
What if it works out? Then I’ll have a lot of work to do to keep it working. What if I’m not good enough to keep it working and I turn it into a failure?
Everything eventually breaks down or dies and there’s nothing anyone can do to prevent that indefinitely. It only ever needs to work long enough to be useful. Don’t let perfection be the enemy of good enough.
I’d say that’s part of the fun of it all! How boring would it be to just always succeed? And how much pressure has to continually grow to never make an error? Nah, I say let’s try things and fuck up…or succeed! And then run with it as far as it goes, fall down, and see if we can run farther next time.
The race may never end, but I still like running it!
What if you are good enough and you do pull it off?
What if your new fix if it goes wrong reinvents your system. Gen 1 always has something. What if that little patch you’re thinking of is the right patch.
Clearly this works for other people, and that is cool! Not for me though :(
My brain: “If it works out” then I won’t have to worry about it, but while there’s a chance it doesn’t I still need to prepare myself for the worst scenario.
I can relate to this, but how are you actually preparing yourself?
Are you planning your response to the problem, considering how to improve the outcome for next time, learning from any mistakes you or others may have made to end up there?
Or are you just dwelling on the possible negative outcome that hasn’t happened yet, so you can say ‘Told you so’ to yourself or anyone who will listen after the fact?
Like I said, I can relate to this, but I’m slowly trying to turn my pessimism into something productive.
In my anxious moods, I do sort of prepare myself. I try to think of every possible eventuality, every possible accusation or thought someone may have, every thing I might forget or fumble, and try to imagine what I might do to counteract or resolve it. It’s still often a meaningless task because there are practically infinite possibilities, but in theory there’s a logic and a benefit to it…
That is a cool way to think about it though. I might put more meta-thought into it for the future.
I’ve found that interrupting awful and anxious thoughts out loud and making positive corrections is extremely helpful.
Legitimately, I’ve called out in my house “Shut the fuck up! That’s so stupid, [that terrible thing] isn’t going to happen. I’ve got people who love and care about me, so shut your damn mouth!”
Treat yourself like a friend and shut down the bullies, especially if those bullies are your own thoughts, because you deserve to be defended from things that aren’t true.
I actually do something similar. I often stop intrusive thoughts by saying “stop” to myself under my breath or if im alone, more out loud. Or i tell my brain to stfu. Happy to hear im not the only one lol.
Upvoting for unapolegtic and correct use of “whom”
Commenting so somebody will get upset I grammared too good and respond how it’s “no longer necessary”
I grammared too good
… You did grammared real good. It’s no longer necessary!
The issue with grammar posting isn’t that it’s not longer necessary, it’s that you’re being a boring dolt talking about even more trivial bullshit than the usual social media stuff!
begins reeling
I GOT ONE!
did you? you sounded like you were preempting a different criticism. and a fucking stupid one, too.
random emote with self-declaration of victory
I did it!
I won’t set myself up for disappointment by giving myself hope. Rather be realistic
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It literally has taken me 20 years to develop this skill. I knew I was stubborn, but damn!
for that to have a chance of helping you have to have some expectation of it being possible in the first place and i don’t understand how false hope is supposed to help.
if there’s really a zero shot why not plan for adapting to the bad outcome instead of worrying about something you have no control over?
(answer, because you know somewhere that you do have some control and that there is some hope but for one reason or another you refuse to see it.)
bruh fuck off
predictable answer. enjoy your misery
toxic positivity will crash and burn eventually
Exactly what part of this is toxic positivity? This is about acceptance and control. Toxic positivity is when someone smiles at you and insists you play nice as they trample on your rights. You’re just being a miserable shit who feels offended by being called out on it. In fact I contest the positivity part more than the toxic part - I don’t mind being toxic; think you’re a right git!
Sometimes I have to tell myself: Right now, you are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.
Thanks, I really needed to see this right now
What if a super model asks me out?
Nope doesn’t work…
J/k
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because most of my anxiety comes from uncertainty. having to prepare for success or fail is exhausting and scary
Today, I got a rock in my car AC condenser that will either cost 2000$ or a 500$ deductible and increased insurance premiums. Either way, I am fortunate enough to have an emergency fund that easily covered the deductible. I’m not in trouble and I’m safe. I go to sleep tonight with a calmer heart knowing I secured the best outcome out of a bad situation. All it took to ease my woes is for my friend to remind me: “I’ve done the best job I could have done.” I’ll be carrying that for a while.
Everything is going to be ok. It is going to be ok because I’ll be trying my best the entire way through. I know you will try the same too.
