Even despite the age gap, this was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and an understanding of each other’s time and goals. I really like her as a person – she’s wonderful. But I also think we’re just not the right fit for each other romantically or sexually, and I’ve slowly begun to realize this over the last few weeks.
A couple of nights ago, I broached the subject and mentioned our sex drives were not super aligned. Mine is much higher than hers, and we both acknowledged neither one of us expected the other to change nor did we pretend it was even possible. She took it very hard, though, and spent about 2 hours crying on my couch while we talked.
We didn’t officially break up, and I know she wants to continue trying. I think she believes I am the one for her, and while she is a wonderful person, she just isn’t the right one for me specifically. How should I go about doing this? I had been hoping the conversation would have led us to that conclusion, but I couldn’t find the guts to end it then, especially because we went from joking around and laughing together that exact night like nothing was wrong to her crying in my arms on the couch.
I feel like I’m setting her up for heartbreak, but I know it’s not fair to either of us to continue in something that I am not long-term invested in.
just do it, I’m not saying don’t be nice, but the longer you wait the harder it will be.
besides a 39 year old being so distraught over a 6 month relationship is weird, I mean yea you can be emotional, crying for hours sounds either a bit manipulative or immature.
signed: someone with a similar age to her’s
I don’t think it’s manipulative or immature feel sadness when your partner gives a hard truth about the bedroom. That’s very hard to hear for most people. Anything critical involving sex is usually a relationship minefield no matter how mature either party is.
6mo can also be a long time. It’s not like it’s been a week. You can learn a lot and develop a real bond in 6mo.
So you’ve got what is probably a very serious relationship, and it is now threatened by a very hard truth about your sex life. That is a lot to process. A lot of people would rightfully cry over that.
I don’t know if you have an amazing relationship and have fallen deeply in love and then they hint at wanting to end it because you don’t have enough sex that sounds like something acceptable to be upset about.
Don’t do the classic Reddit thing and jump straight to red flags and abuse based on almost no information.