Even despite the age gap, this was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and an understanding of each other’s time and goals. I really like her as a person – she’s wonderful. But I also think we’re just not the right fit for each other romantically or sexually, and I’ve slowly begun to realize this over the last few weeks.

A couple of nights ago, I broached the subject and mentioned our sex drives were not super aligned. Mine is much higher than hers, and we both acknowledged neither one of us expected the other to change nor did we pretend it was even possible. She took it very hard, though, and spent about 2 hours crying on my couch while we talked.

We didn’t officially break up, and I know she wants to continue trying. I think she believes I am the one for her, and while she is a wonderful person, she just isn’t the right one for me specifically. How should I go about doing this? I had been hoping the conversation would have led us to that conclusion, but I couldn’t find the guts to end it then, especially because we went from joking around and laughing together that exact night like nothing was wrong to her crying in my arms on the couch.

I feel like I’m setting her up for heartbreak, but I know it’s not fair to either of us to continue in something that I am not long-term invested in.

  • hoodatninja@kbin.social
    11·
    11 months ago

    I don’t think it’s manipulative or immature feel sadness when your partner gives a hard truth about the bedroom. That’s very hard to hear for most people. Anything critical involving sex is usually a relationship minefield no matter how mature either party is.

    6mo can also be a long time. It’s not like it’s been a week. You can learn a lot and develop a real bond in 6mo.

    So you’ve got what is probably a very serious relationship, and it is now threatened by a very hard truth about your sex life. That is a lot to process. A lot of people would rightfully cry over that.