If you actually read Kollontaj, you see she is explicitly against the capitalist distortion of intimacy that turns people into soulless numbers, body parts, and sex acts. She is decidedly not against soulful sexuality, or what she calls “winged Eros” or even having a low barrier for sexuality. A comrade of mine criticized the last part as “just hookup culture with a new name,” and instead argued Kollontaj was against having a low barrier to sexuality in general, which is a misrepresentation of what hookup culture actually is. Hookup culture is not just having a low barrier for sexuality, but explicitly about selfish gains and turning intimacy into a soulless transaction. They also stated that forms of intimacy are not transhistorical, which is true, but do you know what is transhistorical? The fact that Homo sapiens tends to have a chemical-fueled desire for sexuality. This is not a matter of society, this is a matter of biology. While Kollontaj does in fact write that someone having multiple partners is inherently soulless, you have to remember this was written in 1920s Russia, where no major examples of soulful multi-person relationships existed at the time and was mainly either rich nobles having many mistresses or prostituted women with many clients.
And I’m not gonna discuss this with them any further cuz they’ve been condescending and Marxister-than-thou about it