When I think about it, it is pretty remarkable that I’ve come this far without reattempting suicide. That’s not a joke. My stepfather is a gun enthusiast, so it is easier than ever for me to try something lethal, but I don’t.

Part of the reason is that I don’t want him to feel guilty and shun his own hobby (even if he has lousy politics), and the other reason is that however much my regrets weigh me down, they haven’t pushed me to the point where I’ve seriously reconsidered suicide.

My medication is mostly what’s keeping me afloat, but I speak from experience when I say that I can still have a pretty rough few days when I lose something valuable.

If I lost this community, I know that I would be devastated. I’ll admit that there are things about it that I wish were better, but it’s still the best forum that I’ve ever frequented and I’d be devastated and lost if it vanished. It would almost be like losing a home, which is a pretty strong way to put it, but you know what I mean.

I am usually at loss for words when I receive praise, but I do appreciate it, and it encourages me to continue sharing knowledge with you all, which I hope to do for years to come.

Feel free to ask me anything.

One last thing before I finish my post: if there is something that you want to get me for my birthday, then my only suggestion—as long as you are neither faint of heart nor suffering from battle fatigue—is that you watch Lion of the Desert, if you have not done so already.