I dont want to become like the #1 poster of long-winded rants about my life here, but I find it therapeutic. I am also wondering if this just my brain being checked out, a medical thing, or something everyone has.

I have this thing where my brain decides to think things that I would never do. Its also hard to talk about because then everyone would think I secretly want to do all the things described. Cookie cutter extreme example: it imagines me killing everyone around me or something. I would never want to kill anyone around me, at least usually lol. Most times it’s my family which I care for deeply. Ill just be near something, or someone, and my brain imagines me doing the absolute worse thing someone could do in that situation. It fucks with me. Because I feel like there’s a serial killer describing some really fucked shit in my head as I’m trying to exist. That odd force would never have any power, and it shares no desires with me, it just sits there and acts like I want to engage in horrible acts. Also, I dont see it as an actual entity in my brain, like another person, it’s more like self-doubt but saying things that make me want to never talk to anyone again. Again, does this happen to any of you? Do any of you know what this is?

thanks.

(Also worth noting, much worse shit it imagines as compared to just killing people. Shit that makes not want to see anyone ever again.)

(Edit: I suppose this is relatively normal. I guess no one told me people have thoughts they may not agree with, maybe more of a comment on Amerikkkan education and parenting.)

    • @Lemmy_Mouse
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      61 year ago

      That’s funny, I have this exact thing too. I’m not afraid of heights, the opposite actually, I get a thrill from them. But sometimes when I’m up high I’ll look out to where I’m not safe and imagine what would happen if I were in that not safe location. Personally I think it’s our minds reminding ourselves of the context by analyzing the negative of the situation. Why these things happen when they do is beyond me. Perhaps high emotional scenarios to help maintain control within them? As I said I do get a thrill from being up high, so perhaps being reminded of the negative brings clarity to the situation and reinforces stability. This may not be Lenin Enjoyer or Dank Zedong’s answer but I believe it’s useful information to contribute. Or perhaps I’m simply adding another aspect of the same concept…