I’ve never done coke (never really had the option) but I’d probably try it in the right setting. I had a similar experience with MDMA tho, everyone around me seemed to be having the time of their lives, super open and loving and ecstatic. It felt like a mild kratom high to me, but my medications also probably impacted the experience. Didn’t feel too bad the next day, but it was all just meh. There’s sort of a stigma or pushback that I find kind of understandable to all sorts of illicit drugs among MLs because of their debilitating effects and their historical uses by state departments, but I absolutely adore psychedelics. Mostly just when I’m alone and can think, even though I’ve usually been around people when doing it. I did like 6g psilo once alone and it was an utter nightmare, a nightmare that changed my life in incredible and indescribable ways. At least for a little while. “Ego death” etc etc. I like to use LSD thought spirals to delve into pretty dark systemic issues – stared at a high school once for a while just thinking about how much it looked like a prison and I finally got what that sort of discourse was about. Dialectical materialism also clicked so much more heavily with me whenever I was tripping. When I’m with people they try to keep me from thinking about those things and I try to stay away from them because I don’t want to “kill the vibe”. Which is fine, but the vibe is not my favorite thing about those experiences. DMT was mostly just fun as hell – a waking dream – and I started painting after trying it.

You’ve certainly got me thinking about setting up a meditation sleep ritual before bed, not something I’d considered before but it seems like it could be very useful. I have been meaning to meditate but keep pushing it off and I think incorporating it that way wouldn’t be too jarring. Thanks comrade.