I’ve had a crush on a girl for months now. I don’t know why. I just saw her out of no where and thought, “she’s really pretty.” Now I notice her more than anyone else!! Help!!
I don’t want any crushes because I have important things to focus on, but I can’t help but think about her. I find myself fantasizing about hanging out with her and had many dreams about her. And the fact that we made eye contact quite a lot and her appearing out of no where in school did not help at all!!! 😭😭😭
I’ve tried not thinking about her, avoid seeing her, pretending I hate her, pretending she hates me, and even MANIFESTING my feelings to go away. (Which worked for three days 😥) I even tried looking at her more to desensitize myself!! Wanna know what made my feelings come back? The freaking eye contact!! As a loner, any attractive person giving me eye contact makes my heart jump. Especially her!!! And it’s really hard because love songs make me think about her 😭😭
Yeah yeah I know I should talk to her… but it’s hard to bring myself to :(( There’s so many issues. I’m introverted, and I would break down trying to talk to her. Her friends are not someone I would hang around, they kind of give toxic vibes, and I noticed myself being attracted to toxic type of girls, and it happened many times before. Maybe it’s because I come from a toxic household? I don’t know :(
Anyways
TL;DR I have a hopeless crush on someone, don’t want the feelings because I have more important things to tend to, but these feelings are getting in the way of my thinking and I just think I don’t need those feelings!! Help please 😥
I know I can’t run from feelings, I wish I could 😔 One day I think I’m close to the exit, and then boom, the exit pulls further away from me :(
You can’t run away from feelings, as it seems you’ve discovered. Try to sit with your feelings. Don’t fight them. Surrender.
Get a pillow, dim lights, and maybe some incense. Just get your room comfortable, clean, and make sure your schedule is free and that no one will disturb you. Get comfy have some water, maybe some snacks, a pen and paper.
Put some quiet music on, something without words, calming or no music. Whatever you prefer. Now, sit on your pillow and close your eyes and think about your current crush. Just feel that intensity, and sit with it until you are bored. Maybe you won’t get bored, but you will eventually settle down or get distracted. Once you have settled down and you’ve thought about your crush, write what you thought about and try to think what you want to do.
You got two options: you either continue feeling this crush and do the same thing(nothing) until you get over it, at some unknown point in the future. Or you do something about this crush. If you do something, you have two options: do something or do nothing. If you don’t want to or can’t do anything; forget it, it’s no use worrying about her or thinking about her. Avoid the sight of her. Give up. Or you can do something about the crush and go up to her and try to get to know her and see if you like her.
The question isn’t if you’re good enough for her. You are the one to decide if she’s good enough for you. Do you actually like her? There is only one way to find out.
Only the doing of something will help these emotions fade or change.
Find out if she is toxic. If she is, why are you attracted to that? If she’s not, that’s awesome!
I know you are a cool person because you’re a communist on lemmy. That’s pretty badass. So, even if you are an introvert and shy today, you’re a commie, and that’s dope! Don’t forget it!
Thank you for the compliment comrade! You are also a cool communist! 😎
You’re right about this. I may need to do some questioning. I can’t really think of what makes me like her. I have no choice but to get to know her, however I just don’t feel like it. I’m going down the “Give up route.” Therefore I’ll take your advice on mediation. It’s best for me to take in the feelings, let it pass by, and move on. I’ll eventually get over it like the other ones. I’m just surprised she’s the longest crush I’ve had. They usually last about a week to a month or two. Then again it’s only been six months, nothing to be surprised about.
Yeah, I get it. I’ve had my share of helpless crushes lol