Hey comrades, I hope this doesn’t break the rules but I needed someplace to rant to sane people. I know how well threads like this go over on R*ddit. Due to some hefty psychological abuse during my childhood, I suffer from bad social anxiety. Until very recently I couldn’t even talk to strangers via phone, Discord, or Email.
It took me so long to realize that I needed help and even longer to gather the strength to seek it that I am 25 now and only started getting better slowly. I just feel like it took me too long and now recovering is meaningless. I never went to any parties or clubs because I couldn’t and I also didn’t have romantic connections.
The thought of asking someone out terrifies me. I am completely clueless in dating matters and overcoming this seems like an impossible roadblock. It feels like I am already too old to have no clue about relationships and I will be definitely too old once I get over my fear of approaching someone. I don’t want to be alone forever. I don’t want to become some weird incel creep but I also feel like I already crossed the point of no return. And yet I feel silly for worrying about this. I know a lot of you have far greater problems in life. Me complaining about having social anxiety and being single just shows how good my life is if this is truly my biggest problem but I still can’t shake it.
Sorry that this rant is so uncoherent and leading to nothing I just had to get this out in an environment that is actually supporting and understanding.
Edit: thanks everyone for the kind words. I was shedding some tears while going through your replies. I was that deeply touched. I count myself once again lucky to belong to such a kind and caring community (can’t believe libs call US red red fascists) and I now feel much better about myself. I feared I was alone in my fight, and even though I haven’t met a single one of you in real life, I now know I am not. I will get around to answering everyone of you but it might take me a day or two.
It’s okay. Social anxiety can be so so isolating. I feel you. I’ve been there. I promise. I’d get panic attacks and I thought I was dying. All I can say is that you can change and it’s not too late. Why do you think it’s too late? 25 is still young. I’m nearly 30 these days, but ten years ago, I was in the same place as you are. Now I have a wonderful gf and I can talk to anybody. It’s not always easy and I still have anxiety about many things, but anxiety won’t stop me anymore. My gf has social anxiety too, but I help her since I’ve been through that.
It will be a lot of hard work to change but realize that you deserve real, good friends, you deserve love and respect. But that’s something you have to learn to accept for yourself. Now, don’t get that confused with that people have an obligation to give you friendship and love, but you deserve it from your friends and lovers.
As far as parties and stuff, you can always go to parties. Humans love parties. Don’t get that fomo. Be patient.
With dating; it’s a game or a dance. Don’t take it seriously if you lose or mess up a lot at first. Learn the rules and the moves and you can win the game. Let me know if you have any questions. I’m here to help, comrade :)
Thank you. I might come back to your offer.
I’ll be happy to answer as best as I can.