I just had to report something to the police that will probably end a very close friendship of mine, but it was something that was totally not okay and I had to do it. But I still feel like a piece of shit for it. Have you ever felt like this and how did you get through it?
Feeling like shit for a shorter amount of time knowing I did the right thing, far outweighs the longer feeling of guilt for not speaking up. At least when you say something, it stops there, and you don’t go down the mindfuck of “what if”.
The ruminating over the “What ifs…” is absolutely fucking torture in any scenario. Self doubt is a removed.
It sure is torture. Your mind can be it’s own worst enemy sometimes. It has taken me many years to learn how to love myself and just release my grip a little onto whatever is holding me back. By no ways am I able to just let it go, but with time I have at least started to realise that I can let things go more easily. I know I sound old when I say that too, but I guess that’s the whole journey we all go through. It all happens at the right time.
This describes it perfectly. Still feel bad for ending a relationship, but no “what if”-s ever come to my mind - you just did what was right, no matter how many introspections you have had later, and that’s the end of it.
You have a wonderful outlook, and hope that stays with you. I find your comment positive, and that positivity has charged me up… thank you