You’d have to be incredibly obtuse to see such a thing as a compliment. It sounds backhanded and almost like she’s negging him. Like you’d have to consider men as emotionless robots with no deeper feelings or thought to see this as compliment. Oh wait, that’s how society sees men! And you’d have to know nothing about male gender roles and expectations to not see how this could be insulting. Imagine wanting to spend the rest of life with someone (in this case a man), and knowing this little about their gender identity. And I say this as someone that’s dated men. I don’t know, maybe this is all incredibly obvious to me as a man or something, because I cannot see how that would be a compliment.
The way it could be interpreted as a comliment is that fwb or hookup is too shallow and she wouldn’t be able to keep it at that level. But it is very badly worded if so. Just say “You’re the kind of man I would like to marry” instead, adding in the fwb and hookup stuff before adds nothing to the compliment.
Also if that’s what you’re trying to say then saying “I wouldn’t hook up with you. I would marry you” is a really weird way of saying it, because you’re expressing an inability to settle, so you’d want to use the word “couldn’t” probably
Are you really not seeing the issue? This could easily be interpreted as “I don’t find you physically attractive”, even if it wasn’t intended. Who in the world wants to hear that from their partner? It also could easily be interpreted as negging. Are people not allowed to feel aggrieved by that?
The only one who is saying she “literally said” something that is not in the text is you. I have made it very clear what is my interpretation and what is text in this thread.
Be better
Funny that, it can’t be incorrect since it’s a completely valid interpretation from the text we have available. There is no correct interpretation, which is why this thread is an active discussion of how people understand it.
She literally didn’t. With the text we see the phrasing is “he is not someone I would hook up with or fwb with, but marry”.
The reason it is interpreted as it is is specifically because she isn’t saying he is all that and more, but just someone you can marry but not hookup with.
She probably intended the other phrasing, but that’s not what she said, which is why he reacted as he did.
Then if she literally didn’t then y’all have done impressive some mental gymnastics to arrive at the conclusion of “she thinks he isn’t attractive” lmao
No we haven’t, stop being dismissing and condescending just because you disagree.
Also stop trying to gaslight me with calling a straightforward explanation “Impressive mental gymnastics” you toad
That really is not the part of the comment that’s in question as being hurtful. It is the preceding, “I would not fuck you”. There is still an understanding that they would fuck in the context of knowing each other, etc. But is it really not just a little bit not great to hear your partner say something that amounts to, “If you were just like somebody who meant nothing to me and I was evaluating in physical terms, I wouldn’t hit that shit”? And I’ll reiterate, I don’t think that was the intended meaning, certainly not the intended main point. But, as continues to be demonstrated, there are a whole fuck lot of men who would interpret this remark as calling them ugly.
She literally says he wouldn’t be a FWB to her, the implication being that she’s not attracted to him in that way. If this guy came back and said “I listened to that Jimmy Soul song and I realized that you could really make me happy for the rest of my life so let’s go for it” would the expectation be that she’s cool with that?
How is that an implication? She says he’s worth more than a fwb, all that extra shit I have no idea where y’all are getting from cause she never said he wasn’t attractive
She isn’t saying he’s “worth more” stop making things up. That’s your interpretation , but it’s not in the text. We don’t live inside your head.
People are being very kind in giving you explanations for why they interpret it as an insult and you keep dismissing them while just adding things you’d like the text to have.
Naw people have said “it’s easily interpreted” and “I don’t see how people don’t see it’s backhanded” and y’all keep implying she said he wasn’t attractive, fuck are you on?
We do not imply this, it has been explained several times already. You’d just rather be obtuse and feel superior instead of engage with an argument that has been presented several times already.
And you are literally adding to what is said, which is what you keep pretending not to understand.
so keep repeating yourself.
I have to repeat myself because you can’t get the simple concept of “when you’re referring to what was said, refer to that instead of what you’d like it to be” thru your thick skull
You’d have to be incredibly obtuse to see such a thing as a compliment. It sounds backhanded and almost like she’s negging him. Like you’d have to consider men as emotionless robots with no deeper feelings or thought to see this as compliment. Oh wait, that’s how society sees men! And you’d have to know nothing about male gender roles and expectations to not see how this could be insulting. Imagine wanting to spend the rest of life with someone (in this case a man), and knowing this little about their gender identity. And I say this as someone that’s dated men. I don’t know, maybe this is all incredibly obvious to me as a man or something, because I cannot see how that would be a compliment.
The way it could be interpreted as a comliment is that fwb or hookup is too shallow and she wouldn’t be able to keep it at that level. But it is very badly worded if so. Just say “You’re the kind of man I would like to marry” instead, adding in the fwb and hookup stuff before adds nothing to the compliment.
Also if that’s what you’re trying to say then saying “I wouldn’t hook up with you. I would marry you” is a really weird way of saying it, because you’re expressing an inability to settle, so you’d want to use the word “couldn’t” probably
How? She literally says he’s worth more than a fwb and that’s insulting to you lmao?
Are you really not seeing the issue? This could easily be interpreted as “I don’t find you physically attractive”, even if it wasn’t intended. Who in the world wants to hear that from their partner? It also could easily be interpreted as negging. Are people not allowed to feel aggrieved by that?
No, I am not seeing that cause she didn’t say it nor imply it lmao so I don’t see how you are? “Easily interpreted” is wild.
You’re the one who is adding additional phrasings to the text in order to make your interpretation clearer. Maybe re read it
LMAO telling me to reread something when you’re saying she said things she didn’t is some crazy work
The only one who is saying she “literally said” something that is not in the text is you. I have made it very clear what is my interpretation and what is text in this thread.
Be better
And I think your interpretation is incorrect? Be better.
Funny that, it can’t be incorrect since it’s a completely valid interpretation from the text we have available. There is no correct interpretation, which is why this thread is an active discussion of how people understand it.
If someone said to you “you’re not someone I’d like to hook up with”, would that be more of a compliment or an insult to you?
Do you stop having sex when you get married or…?
She literally didn’t. With the text we see the phrasing is “he is not someone I would hook up with or fwb with, but marry”.
The reason it is interpreted as it is is specifically because she isn’t saying he is all that and more, but just someone you can marry but not hookup with.
She probably intended the other phrasing, but that’s not what she said, which is why he reacted as he did.
Then if she literally didn’t then y’all have done impressive some mental gymnastics to arrive at the conclusion of “she thinks he isn’t attractive” lmao
No we haven’t, stop being dismissing and condescending just because you disagree.
Also stop trying to gaslight me with calling a straightforward explanation “Impressive mental gymnastics” you toad
LMAO at “straightforward explanations”.
“I’d spend my life with you” means “I don’t find you attractive”.
That’s also not what she said according to the text which we are all arguing from. You are being willfully obtuse
That really is not the part of the comment that’s in question as being hurtful. It is the preceding, “I would not fuck you”. There is still an understanding that they would fuck in the context of knowing each other, etc. But is it really not just a little bit not great to hear your partner say something that amounts to, “If you were just like somebody who meant nothing to me and I was evaluating in physical terms, I wouldn’t hit that shit”? And I’ll reiterate, I don’t think that was the intended meaning, certainly not the intended main point. But, as continues to be demonstrated, there are a whole fuck lot of men who would interpret this remark as calling them ugly.
She literally says he wouldn’t be a FWB to her, the implication being that she’s not attracted to him in that way. If this guy came back and said “I listened to that Jimmy Soul song and I realized that you could really make me happy for the rest of my life so let’s go for it” would the expectation be that she’s cool with that?
How is that an implication? She says he’s worth more than a fwb, all that extra shit I have no idea where y’all are getting from cause she never said he wasn’t attractive
She isn’t saying he’s “worth more” stop making things up. That’s your interpretation , but it’s not in the text. We don’t live inside your head.
People are being very kind in giving you explanations for why they interpret it as an insult and you keep dismissing them while just adding things you’d like the text to have.
Naw people have said “it’s easily interpreted” and “I don’t see how people don’t see it’s backhanded” and y’all keep implying she said he wasn’t attractive, fuck are you on?
We do not imply this, it has been explained several times already. You’d just rather be obtuse and feel superior instead of engage with an argument that has been presented several times already.
I’m engaging, she is being LITERAL, so keep repeating yourself.
And you are literally adding to what is said, which is what you keep pretending not to understand.
I have to repeat myself because you can’t get the simple concept of “when you’re referring to what was said, refer to that instead of what you’d like it to be” thru your thick skull
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