I am planning on having children in the next 10 years (not that I care about the financial burden). When I thought about this I decided to make up some advice:
“Spare the rod literally but not metaphorically.”
Basically yes, corporal punishment is too cruel, you still need to discipline the child in other ways. How can this be executed? Life lessons are my pitch.
“Natural consequences” is the buzzword. Make sure the consequences fit the action. You squirted most the toothpaste into the aink? You don’t get access to toothpaste, and mom/dad have to do your toothbrush.
This works with my kid because they value their autonomy very highly. Your child may value things differently.
Something to keep in mind: the goal isn’t to be a high-discipline parent, it’s to be a consistent parent. Express expectations and consequences, then hold to them. This helps children feel secure, and dramatically reduces testing behaviors (not to zero but much lower).
Any more examples?
Mine:
“Alex, your room is so dirty!” “But it wasn’t my fault.” “Yes it is, you didn’t clean when you were supposed to.” “But cleaning is hard.” “No it isn’t, I’ll teach you how to clean so you so you can do the rest.”