cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/803244

the colleague in question feels that only her way of doing things is the right one and expects me to adapt to her way of thinking and her logic. This is tiring and burdensome because I have to force me to stop doing things automatically and efficiently, but think how she wants it done and do it her way. I work worse when this happens.

There are several ways to reach the same goal and I always adapt according to the situation at hand. I do what feels logic at the time and work my way.

I already told the charge nurse charge about it but I don’t know if she had a conversation with this coworker and what was said.

The message has to be neutral and polite. What do you think of this?

I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It’s tiring. You have your way of doing things, I’ve got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I’m gonna go work now.

  • EchoCT@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    Nice: "Thank you for the input, I prefer to do it the way I have been, which is equally effective and works for me. If you believe it is causing issues elsewhere in our workflow we can bring it up with manager "

    Less Nice: “I understand, but no thank you.”

    Less nice than that: While maintaining direct eye contact, “No.”

    Not nice: “Shouldn’t you be doing your job and not mine?”

    Satisfying, but likely get you fired: “Fuck off.”

    • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      The disarming route:

      You: Can I have a raise? Pest: What? I can’t give you one, I’m not your boss. You: Say that last part again slowly. [insert raise eyebrows here for emphasis]

      • otp@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        You: Can I have a raise?

        Pest: What? I can’t give you one. Your work is shit.

        You: Say that last part again slowly.

        Pest: Your… Work is –

        You: Dammit, you messed it up!

  • Stovetop@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Rule number 1 in a work dispute is to always place yourself as the better person. Even if there are a million things you’d like to say to that person, say whatever is needed to make sure that an outsider looking in would see you as the more sympathetic.

    The proposed message seems a bit too direct and harsh, and if scrutinized might be seen as confrontational. I would probably word it more like:

    “Hey, thank you for all the advice. I’ve had a lot of time to try what you’ve suggested, but in the end I’ve decided that the way I’ve been doing things just makes more sense for me after all. I appreciate your perspective though, and I’m glad you have a workflow that works better for you.”

    Based on the “charge nurse” mention, I am assuming you work in a hospital setting, so you could also throw in a “My main priority is patient care, and I would hate to cause any potential harm if I end up messing something up because it’s not the way I’m used to doing it.”

    That being said, again assuming this is a hospital environment, I’d also like to encourage the following:

    • Be mindful of potential regulatory slip-ups that you can get dinged for. The technology and documentation that you work with isn’t the authority on following best practices, you are. The EMR won’t always stop you from doing something wrong, even if it seems “easier”.

    • Confirm with the charge/manager that there isn’t some other necessary element that your coworker’s workflow satisfies but yours might miss. They are just as stressed as everyone else and can’t watch every instance of care during every hour of the day. That’s what periodic audits are for, and sometimes things may not accurately paint a picture of your performance if they measure one metric but you are using another.

    • If your IT people tell you that X is the new way of doing things and Y will be going away, do your best to get used to X as quickly as possible. Sometimes the change is overblown, Y still works even after X is added, but you don’t want to have 8 patients on your list for the day and suddenly have to make significant workflow changes if that turns out to not be the case. And similar to what was mentioned before, sometimes changes are regulatory in nature.

  • Minarble@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    Ask them to show you how it’s done.

    Do the same thing next time.

    Back away slowly and leave them to it.

    Go and have a coffee.

    Ask for a raise as you are good at managing people to do the work.

    • livus@kbin.social
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      2 months ago

      This is the one.

      @permit54, as soon as you start to justify argue explain or defend your position to her, that implies you acknowledge she has a right to question your methods.

      She doesn’t. She’s not the boss of you and you don’t need to engage with her preferences.

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      In a creative field you should always invite input - but that doesn’t mean you should allow your creativity to be constantly overriden.

  • jbrains@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Don’t assume you know what is going through their mind, if you want to neutral and polite.

    “I believe I’m fulfilling the duties of the job. What am I failing to get done?”

    Focus on the requirements of the job and the fact that you’re meeting them.

    • dan1101@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Not sure I like this because it assumes it is her business to decide whether you’re doing the job.

      • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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        2 months ago

        In a healthy workplace your peers are allowed (and should even be incentivized) to give you feedback about your work. Requesting a justification can turn an order into valid constructive feedback. Or it can be the start of an entire circus performance if there’s no actual justification but it would at least try to address the issue.

  • teawrecks@sopuli.xyz
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    2 months ago

    “Thanks for the advice, but this way is working out for me. If <your superior> prefers I do it differently, they’ll let me know.”

    I feel like this is just the right amount of curtness.

  • sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I would say something like:

    Thanks for the ideas, [person’s name]! I have found another way that allows me to get the same to outcome that is quicker for me. To keep things moving efficiently, I recommend that we each use our own techniques. If they clash at any point, we can discuss how to work though that when it comes up. Cool?

    Consider the possibility that your way is causing issues somewhere before you have this conversation otherwise you sound really tonedef.

  • Extras@lemmy.today
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    2 months ago

    Top of my head something like “I appreciate your input however I prefer to handle things in my own way. Both our methods are efficient and can coexist. If you do have concerns, please direct it at our supervisor. Thank you for understanding.” But I would wait for more answers first just to get more feedback

    Edit: in case things do escalate for whatever reason do yourself a favor and keep copies of your communications with her. Just document everything

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      I replied more fully in the other thread but it’s never a bad idea to go through your manager from the beginning. Talk it over with them and get their approval on your specific response - it’ll fully cover your ass and likely result in the best outcome.

  • CerealKiller01@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    First, Ask the colleague why she feels her way is better.

    If she says something like “it just is”, reply that while you’re open to other ways to do things, you have a way that currently works for you, and would need a reason to switch your workflows.

    If she gives an actual answer, consider it. Maybe it is better than what you’re use to. maybe it’s possible to incorporate both ways to have the best of both worlds. Assuming you still think you way is better, say something along the lines of (I’m basing this on something I said to a co-worker in order not to be too abstract): “I get that doing it your way [is simpler and requires less troubleshooting], but it can also [give wrong results if a thing changes and we forget to correct for it]. My way [corrects for it automatically]. For me, eliminating the risk of [forgetting to manually correct] is worth the need to [do some troubleshooting]. Maybe that’s because you have [better memory] and I’m better at [technical stuff], so we each have a way that works for us, but will not work for the other. I appreciate that you took the time and explained your way of thinking, and I hope you understand why my way is better for me”.

    After that, if she still insists, tell her you clearly aren’t able to come to an agreement among yourselves, so maybe it’s better you both talk to the charge nurse if manager or whatever.

  • Devi@kbin.social
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    2 months ago

    “It’s great you’ve found a way that works for you, I do it a little differently which works great for me”, smile and leave.

  • 1984@lemmy.today
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    2 months ago

    I would just say thanks for your opinion, but I will do this the way I want to.

  • sylver_dragon@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    First question: is there a documented Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) you or she is breaking?
    If there is an SOP, follow that and only that. When coworker complains, point to the SOP and tell her that you’re following the SOP and will let management know that she isn’t. If you’re not following the SOP and the coworker is trying to get you to follow it, then start following the SOP. Those often exist for very good reasons. If there is no SOP, and it’s something which needs to be done regularly and might impact either life-safety or business operation if it’s not done correctly, then see if management is open to documenting the procedure and creating an SOP. Offer to lead the effort.

    Second question:

    The message has to be neutral and polite.

    Why?
    “If you would like to do it, I would be happy to let you. Until then, please fuck off and let me do my job.”